麻烦大牛帮忙看看小弟的TPO的独立写作

唐尸三摆手

之前模仿过10篇 不限时10篇 限时写了5篇 这是第三篇tpo
觉得自己没有什么进步。
求大神帮小弟修改修改，顺便打个分数让我客观评价下自己，能提点让我提高的建议最好~多谢啦~
In contemporary society, we are meeting different people every day, and maybe we meet someone has the same hobbit to us, has so merit we want to learn, we will make friends with them. There is some people even said that the new friend will give our more power than the old one, so we should focus on making new friends.
Tempting such a claim it sounds, but it can hardly be true. Although I have to confess, a stranger maybe have many things we don't know, such as investment information, or a new innovation which is promising, and these all are chances we can improve ourselves, or get some profit from it, I must say that the old friends are more important to us with following reasons.
First, the old friends which (whom) we have selected from many strangers is more effective communicators. After all we have screened out the people we would not have the inspiration to talk to. An effective communicator means that they know what I'm thinking according he have the same thinking function to me and he know when he should change the way we uses to communicate with me in oder(order) to make me can grasp his idea easily. When you are exchanging your idea with somebody, concentrating the method you depend on to express your opinion is always n bothering thing because you have to divide your ability to such things rather than dedicating in the things itself you are talking about.
Furthermore, every old friend have their old function to get along with each other. Keeping how much space with your friend is a skillful work, only the old friends who have practice this test many times know what degree he behave is appropriate. So it's safer to your secret while you are getting along with you old friends. In addition to respect your individual issues, old friends can sympathize you better. When you do something wrong, they will not punish you easily and audaciously, instead of telling you why you are wrong and how you can correct this fault. With such a sophiscated old friend will promote you to a higher level in your whole life.
On contrast to the new information which has not been selected and seems disordered from the new friends, the information provided from the old friends is more suitable to your appetite. Because you are affinity to such information, you can categorize them in the right place accurately which you can pick them up when you want to take use of them. It's more convenient(convenient). Also, old friends know what you are need, when they meet some things total strange to you small circle, these friends who are warm-hearted will consider whether these information suit you and transfer it to you more efficient.
With above all statement, I don’t think old friend is negligible. Anyone think they are useless is ignorant.