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sameoldshit

136) Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study in which jobs are plentiful.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

提纲:

1)故事引起，引到这一类study有很多优点
2)优点一，学生学习中压力更小。由于这类study会牵涉到很多方面的工作，将来无论选择什么工作都会和现在学习内容相关，所以有了清晰的目标，压力也更小，（好事哇~）
3）优点二， 学生更有兴趣学习。现在很多学生不愿意学因为他们觉得将来干的和现在学的不相干。但选择这类study就意味着它可能不是不相干的，反而会使我们得以将兴趣和工作结合起来。这样就学的更有劲头咯~
4）反面问题：可能造成学得广所以学得不深，因为就业面越广就意味着它的学科跨度越大，所以这是一个negative effect；另外这种study学生趋之若鹜，会导致将来的就业压力变大，对学生是不好的影响。
5）最后，总结，这种study有利有弊，选择需谨慎~

I was born in a family where nearly all of the family members are accountants. My mother used to coax me to sleep by telling bed stories of her accounting student experiences. My father is always persuading me to continue our family's tradition when i grow up. My uncles' and aunties' never-stopping chat topics are about their work of accounting. Living in a family with such tradition, I often confused in identifying which is more important, tradition or personal interest? However, the importance lies behind choosing majors like accounting is way more than just family tradition, and more importantly, it is better because it leads to more promising job opportunities.

First of all, choosing fields of study leading to plentiful jobs alleviates the pressure while students' studying. Take accounting as an example, when I bear in mind that my current study will be closely involved in my future career I have stronger motivations to overcome difficulties. Situations like this accord with the findings in pedagogy that students study more efficiently when they have lower mental pressure. Accordingly, when they are confident about their promising future, at least about having a job, they will be virtually more possible to reach their goals.

Second, fields of study leading to plentiful jobs are more interesting for studying. It is inevitable that students get bored when doing repeated assignments and listening to no-so-attractive lectures. We can’t force a student only interested in comic strip to pay much attention to an accounting lecture. However, if this cartoon lover knows that (s)he may be employed as an accountant in a cartoon workshop, since they also needs to deal with money, this students will be more willing to study harder.

Nevertheless, fields of study leading to a wide range of jobs also have negative effects. More quantity results in less quality. Studies with multiple ends sacrifice the depth in each study, which means students majors in, for instance, management will not deeply specialize in every subject of their major because management includes accounting, communication, banking and many other diversified subjects. Moreover, with an increasing number of students choosing these kinds of study, the employment pressure will be increasingly intensified. Students with backgrounds of these studies may find their knowledge inadequate to compete with others and may go back school again to advance their academic degrees.

To conclude, fields of study leading to plentiful jobs are worth encouraging since they make study easier and more interesting. However, proper discretion is advised to determine whether they fit a student’s particular situation, and their shortages are needed to be considered carefully before making decisions.

竹林中人

作为ISSUE,我认为讲故事开头是不合适的，你要明确首段你要写什么然后再是怎么写。建议学习范文

竹林中人

关于提纲我没有看到你自己的立场，只是说了一下好坏然后说根据实际情况而定并没有给出一个明确的立场，而这恰恰是需要的

竹林中人

再就是论述过程中没有对instruction有回应。论述的内容暂不做评价，好好修改下吧，加油！