呼仔的作文帖！求指导！握拳！有口语建议也进来呀！

lemonyhu

8.6.
High school students should take a course on basic economics.

As the magnificent development of education, there is a debate over whether it is useful for students to take courses on basic economics. People’s views varied from one to another. Some people hold that economics enables students to take a further look at the market; Others argue that it is useless for youngsters to learn the subject. As far as I am concerned, such subject as economics is essential for high school students to take.

In the first place, Some parents might argue that economics is not the subject related to the college entrance examination, so why should their youngsters pay extra attention on this “useless” subject? Nevertheless, they ignored that we are human beings whose lives depend on the whole society. The basic knowledge of economics enables students to handle their money wisely. It is said that “We cannot put our eggs in one busket”. As a result, it is vital for us to learn the trend of the market as well as the method to make our money worthy. No matter can we invest money into shares or buy some insurance, we are striving for living better life. I will illustrate my point of view by using the my own example. In the past, I always spend all of my pocket money as soon as I received it. Unfortunately, whenever I found out that I have no money to spend I would be quite upset. These days, I gradually listened to the advice of my financial planner and thus invest my money to the stock market. In this sense, I “create” money without just “wasting” it.
Furthermore, economics is the foundation of many other subjects, for instance, sociology, physics and so on. Consequently, learning the basic knowledge of economics strengthen students’ ability to learn all the other subjects mentioned above. According to the survey conducted by Sohu-one of the most famous websites in China-75% of the students in colleges got better grades if they have the basic knowledge of related area. From the data mentioned above, there is no denying that economics plays a vital role in students’ studies, thus requiring more attention.
Admittedly, as we all know, there are various concepts and interpretations in the economics. Nevertheless, students in high school have too much work to do and thus it is difficult to determine the specific content for high school students to learn at such limited amount of time; It is also hard for teachers to judge whether students understand those concepts.
In all, I strongly agree with the recommendation that students should take economics in high school. Only in this way can they balance their cost and spend, manage their money reasonably, and lay an ideal foundation for future studies.

lemonyhu

8.8 What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

As the magnificent development of modern education, there is a heated debate over whether it is more important for university professors to educate students or to do research. People’s opinions tend to differ in accordance with their standpoint. Some people stress that educating students is their priority job. Others argue that research decide their future development. As far as I am concerned, research definitely provides them with more opportunities.
In the first place, with the rapid change of society, information refreshes every moment, even every individual second. Doing research enables professors to have access to the latest trend of their major. In this way, not only the professors but also their students would absorb information from such research project. To further illustrate this view, let me use my teacher as an example. Jin, one of my favorite hospitality teachers during my four-year study in college, always seeks for every opportunity to improve her academic ability. She strives to find the connection between social media and hospitality marketing, introduces us with the practical as well as the academic knowledge. In this way, not only does she deepen her understanding of hospitality, but we students also accumulate knowledge.
Furthermore, due to the research projects conducted successfully by professors, there would be multiple sponsors and opportunities. As it is said that “Nothing great could be achieved without the support of a solid foundation”, there is no exception in colleges. These innovative research projects would no doubt attract the attention of sponsorships. If they can provide colleges with reasonable instruments and fond, much more progress would be made soon. Besides, those support of company groups is an once-in-a-life-time chance for students, too. In most cases, it is too expensive for students to do research individually. With sufficient money given, they can focus on academic improvement without worrying about money deficiency.
Admittedly, I am not saying that education for students is not a vital part for professors. They, as the backbone of each university, should take the responsibility to do whatever they can to strengthen their teaching in class. Since most students can merely have the privilege to do research with their teachers. According to the research of China Daily, students ranked Teachers’ performance in classes as the highest concerned what aspect students think is the most essential part for a influential university.
In all, as the reasons mentioned above, even though teachers performance is one indispensible part for a college, doing research does to some extent beyond the former. Once we know how to conduct research projects efficiently, can we balance the development of our colleges.

GWinner

精彩错误修改提议综合
8.8 What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

As the magnificent development of modern education,[As后面应该是完整句子吧...而且那个形容词感觉有点诡异哈 可以改成As the modern education is developing in an amazing speed] there is a heated debate over whether it is more important for university professors to educate students or to do research. People’s opinions tend to differ in accordance with their standpoint. Some people stress that educating students is their[指代不清,还是直接用professor吧] priority job. Others argue that research decide their future development. As far as I am concerned, research definitely provides them with more opportunities.
[第一段的模板痕迹很重..其实可以根据不同的题目灵活的改动一点 千万别让模板限制了自己的发挥~]

In the first place, with the rapid change of society, information refreshes every moment, even every individual second. Doing research enables professors to have access to the latest trend of their major. In this way, not only the professors but also their students would absorb[吸收放在这里感觉有点奇怪,用reach或者acquire神马的都行~]information from such research project. To further illustrate this view, let me use my teacher as an example.[感觉let me放在这里有点过于口语化了,建议改成: My teacher's own experience can be used as an example to illustrate this point] Jin, one of my favorite hospitality teachers during my four-year study in college, always seeks for every opportunity to improve her academic ability. She strives to find the connection between social media and hospitality marketing, [这里缺一个and吧~逗号不能连接两个句子哈]introduces us with the practical as well as the academic knowledge. In this way, not only does she deepen her understanding of hospitality, but we students also accumulate knowledge.
[这个knowledge可以联系刚才教授的研究 展开来说, 直接放在这里让人感觉有点单薄和突兀]
[这段论点立意挺好的 例子也恰当~]

Furthermore, due to the research projects conducted successfully by professors, there would be multiple sponsors and opportunities. As it is said that “Nothing great could be achieved without the support of a solid foundation”, there is no exception in colleges[exception的用法很好~不过加了there be就感觉有点煞风景了 可以改成university is not the exception]. These innovative research projects would no doubt [no doubt是形容词 直接加在这里不太好吧..可以用副词形式undoubtedly]attract the attention of sponsorships. If they can provide colleges with reasonable[这个词放在这没懂是么意思...] instruments and fond, much more progress would be made soon. Besides, those support of company groups is an once-in-a-life-time chance for students, too. In most cases, it is too expensive for students to do research individually. With sufficient money given,[直接given sufficient money] they can focus on academic improvement without worrying about money deficiency.
[这段论点也挺新颖~其中有些词的用法要注意哈]

Admittedly, I am not saying that education for students is not a vital part for professors. They,[这个they又指代不清了...容易误指student] as the backbone of each university, should take the responsibility to do whatever they can [+do]to strengthen their teaching in class. Since most students can merely have the privilege to do research with their teachers.[since这好像只有半句话 没说完...] According to the research of China Daily, students ranked Teachers’ performance in classes as the highest concerned what aspect students think is the most essential part for a influential university.[后半句有点乱..没看懂]
[这段其实后面列了两个理由,一个是教育很重要, 另外一个是教授的课堂表现是评判一所大学的重要标准...感觉两个理由之间缺少明显的过渡, 加上点逻辑连接词会有帮助]

In all, as the reasons mentioned above, even though teachers performance is one indispensible part for a college, doing research does to some extent beyond the former.[does和beyond是不匹配的..要用的话应该是is beyond...但是感觉表示重要性的时候一般还是不用beyond吧...有点奇怪> <用is worth more attention会不会更好点?] Once we know how to conduct research projects efficiently, can we balance the development of our colleges.[Once会引起后面倒装嘛> <...好吧我不知道这个用法哈...有点晕...]

LZ的论点挺到位的 例子也恰当

需要注意的是很多词汇 句子和搭配的用法不精准 这些小错误点缀在文章中有时候会很煞风景 所以要引起重视哈~

加油哦!!!

lemonyhu

The lecturer claims that there is sufficient reason for American wood companies to adopt ecocertification for their products. This claim is not in accordance with that of the reading passage, which holds that the wood companies in the U.S. will not receive ecocertification.
In the first place, the lecturer points out that consumers in the United States do not treat all the advertisements the same. In other words, they can distinguish the "good" ads of certification from the "bad"ones and trust the useful ecocertification authorized by independent consumer agencies. Nevertheless, the writer argues that American consumers are exposed to so many advertisements that they do not place much attention to the ecocertification label.
Furthermore, by contending that consumers in the U.S. only concern about the price difference when there is a huge gap between individual products, the author refutes to the point provided in the reading that U.S. wood companies will keep their prices low to obtain local customers. More specificly, the lecturer explains that if the price is less than 5 percent different from one another, customers would nodoubtedly choose those eco-friendly ones.
Last but not least, concerning the third point, which mentioned that pursuing certification will be only useful if American wood companies marketed abroad, strong evidence was provided to oppose to this point of view. He stresses that the competition internationally actually determine the development of local wood companies. That is to say, if U.S, companies act slow in obtaining ecocertification, then they cannot compete in the local wood market with other foreign companies and thus disappear from the fierce competition of international wood market.

上善若水1018

The lecturer claims thatthere is (are) sufficientreason(reasons) for American wood companies to adoptecocertification for their products. This claim is not in accordance with thatof the reading passage, which holds that the wood companies in the U.S. willnot receive ecocertification ( 原文的意思是US company没必要搞certification，你这句是说它们收不到certification，有歧义。另外，个人感觉没必要为了凑字数而凑字数。完全可以这样写thelecturer claims balabla, which is not in accordance with balabla).

In the first place, the lecturer points out thatconsumers in the United States do not treat all the advertisements the same. Inother words, they can distinguish the "good" ads of certificationfrom the "bad"ones and trust the useful ecocertification authorizedby independent consumer agencies. Nevertheless, the writer argues that Americanconsumers are exposed to so many advertisements that they do not place muchattention to the ecocertification label. （我理解的综合作文的核心是lecture如何support/castdoubts文章，而neverthless这种转折之后往往意味着是表达的重心。你这种表表述给人的感觉是文章如何不同意lecture。 建议先写passage怎么样，然后再nevertheless，lecture是如何反驳的。）

Furthermore, by contending that consumers in theU.S. only concern about the price difference when there is a huge gap betweenindividual products （读着很怪 只有当产品之间的gap很大时，消费者才关心价格区别？听力中说的是只有价差很大的时候，消费者的行为才会被价格影响）, the author refutes to the point provided inthe reading passage that U.S. wood companies will （should）keep their prices low to obtain（attract应该更合适点） local customers. More specifically, the lecturer explainsthat if the price is less than 5 percent different from one another（句式有问题，if theprice difference is less than 5%）, customerswould nodoubtedly（undoubtedly）choose those eco-friendly ones (ones 指什么？ 直接用products更好些).

Last but not least, concerning the third point,which mentioned that pursuing certification will be only useful if Americanwood companies marketed abroad, strong evidence was provided to oppose to thispoint of view. He stresses that the competition internationally actuallydetermine the development of local wood companies. That is to say, if U.S,companies act slow in obtaining ecocertification, then they cannot compete inthe local wood market with other foreign companies and thus disappear from thefierce competition of international wood market. （可以改的再精炼点）

总体感觉就是LZ为了凑字数不遗余力，有一种大刀阔斧删句子的冲动…我建议增加一些起承转合的功能性句子，尽量减少为了凑字数而编出来的废话套话。
我一战综合是good，写了200～210字（因为以为不可以超出他的限定字数）。所以我个人感觉最重要的是尽量完整全面的写出听力材料是如何支持或者反驳阅读文章的。

lemonyhu

对的对的！其实应该反驳的！我在写的时候也在这么想！最近独立写作状态特别不好愁死人啊！

lemonyhu

8.11 综合
The lecturer claims that the passage is too optimistic toward the fuel-sell engine. She explains that the fuel-cell engine actually would cause lots of problems. This claim is not in accordance with that of the reading passage, which argues that fuel-cell engines have more advantages over internal-combustion engines.
In the first place, the writer points out that internal-combustion engine uses the finite fuel-petroleum -as energy resource. But we can find multiple of resources available for fuel-cell engines. However, the lecturer argues that it is not easy for us to use the hydrogen in water as the resource for fuel-cell engines. Scientists need to pure the hydrogen liquid which is hard to produce as well as store. The liquid requires temperature as low as -253 centigrade degree.

In the second place, the writer mentions that using hydrogen-based fuel will solve many pollution problems that harm the environment. Nevertheless, the lecturer contends that the process to generate pure hydrogen definitely create much more pollution than we expected by taking into account the energy cost and pollution created by burning coal and oil.

Furthermore, by calculating the cost of fuel-cell engines, the writer is convinced that people will spend less money to operate a fuel-cell engine due to the high efficiency of it. However, the lecturer believes that people underestimate the cost of fuel-efficient engine. She points out that an expansive metal is a must resource for the chemical reaction of fuel-cell engines. In other words, we cannot positively conclude that running fuel-cell engine is cheaper than running internal-combustion engine.

浅吟天

木有事的哈，写着写着就好了~~