8月战T记

qiuhua01234567

处境差不多，共勉！！

-- by 会员 hjhcd (2012/8/3 16:41:48)

加油！

TS28

有些我也不是很确定，用紫色给你标出来你再看一下，红色部分是我比较确定的错误。
第一次改作文，可能也有说的不对的地方，我们再讨论~
比较大的问题：
1.时态有些混乱，具体的在文章中标出来了
2.不知道是不是太仓促了不注意，有很多句首没有大写的，还有标点后面没有空格的，单复数用错的，很多疑问句但是没有用问号。段与段之间没有空行。
3.字数300多，最好400+吧。
4.个人感觉啊……文章不是很流畅；疑问句过多。
感觉文章写得比较意识流，不够紧凑，缺少fact和detail
5.however的用法不对：当连接两个句子时，其前通常应用分号，或另起新句。如：

It’s raining hard; however, I think we should go out. / It’s raining hard. However, I think we should go out.雨下得很大，但我想我们还得出去。

Have you ever experienced this thing: you make friends（我查的这个词组只有复数） with a new guy,however（不能这么用的，把前一个逗号改成句号）,only few days （later）,the guy betrays you and makes your heart break（broken）.Have you ever heard the story that new friend betry you but your old friends always believe in you.Have you ever made friends with some new guys,（少连词）they disappear from your daylife fovever.well,if you hadn’t （have not）experienced this,you wouldn’t known how imprtant keeping relationship with old friends than（than不对吧，可以换成compared with） make（making） friends with new guys.
At the beginning, i would say the（多余，前后应该对应的） time is important thing.How would you know a man you just know a few days?（我读着感觉奇怪，知道你要表达的意思，但是好像太chinglish，这样会不会好点：How could regard a person you just encountered several days ago as your friend?）conversionly（我查不到这个词）,you have known your old friend for a long time.To experess my point more clearly,i will take myself for example.When i go to college,i make friends with my roommate,who i think is honest.however,he tell lie to my other roommate,and he even cheat in the exam.（这个例子是不是用过去时更好？）
Time is important,but it is just one of the aspect s. another aspect ,i think,is important is intention（把第一个is前的逗号移到第二个is前）.Why should the guy make friends with you?Just only he/（正式文章中可以这样用吗？还是用or？）she want to make friends you,or the guy want something behind you?The answear we don’t know.If the guy make relationshipswhith you just for money or something else,however（换成but吧或者however前用分号）,you try your best to treat the guy.Finally,you will break heart.
May be（Maybe） someone would ask”if i don’t make friend with the guy,i wouldn’t know if the guy is a good one?”（用句号就行吧）Maybe this （is）correct,but i think another aspect will state this clearly:relationship.
Relationship means the relationship（有点重复，换一下eg：connection） between you and the person around you.As time goes by,we can know more and more people,however,the one really wants to hear your words in your heart will never show up.They do things for their own benefit.No one want to know if you will cry or be happy.（感觉这段很缺乏逻辑性，有点chinglish，no one would care about whether you are sad or happy)For instance,when you break heart,the first person you will think,the old friend or the new friend?Old friend will hear your complaint and consone（？） you.Make you calm down help you face the real world.
Making new friend also has some benefit.For example,you will learn something from your new friend,and you may get something you need from your friend.However,for myself,It is（more） important to keep friendship with old friend than （to） make new friend. 有点草草收尾的感觉，再充实些会更好

TS28

你的作文有再看过吗？
这是我今天的
The friends that you can have fun with are more important than the friends that you can get help from?

Friends are an important component of everyone’ s life. We all need friends to share our happiness, our secrets, and our sorrows. In fact, there are different kinds of friends who play different kinds of roles in our life. For example, people always spend their free time with some good friends watching movies, going shopping and traveling. This kind of fellows make our lives stay away from loneliness and monotone. However, when the people really get into trouble, they get help from other friends. Actually, we do need these two kinds of friends in life, but which ones are more important? As far as I’m concerned, it is more important to have someone who can help me than to have someone who can have fun with me.

As the old saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed. In our daily life, we come into connect with so many people. We study together, we work together, and we have fun together. In contrast, few people stay around you when you need help. If you are accompanied by friends when you are in trouble, you will feel confident and not be afraid. Two month ago, I was sick at school. My best friend Lily took care of me day and night. I recovered soon by her help, and I thank her more than I can say.

Furthermore, it is important for a person to have a friend to study together, encourage each other, and make progress together. Consideration upon different thoughts and ideas broadens our mind, enlarges our vision,and enhances more effective and efficient brainstorm, which undoubtedly gives rise to better, if not the best solutions. For example, my friend and I prepared GMAT together. I was good at critical reasoning and grammar, and she was good at writing and reading comprehension. We studied together, discussed questions, and finally both got good grades.

Of course, that is not to say, the people who have fun together are not true friends. If the people have the same hobby with you, share the interesting things with you, and not lie to you, you can develop a good friendship.

Above what I have discussed, friends are essential ingredient in all the humans’ lives. There is no denying that we need different kinds of friends. among these friends, the people who can help you are more important than the people who have fun with you.

qiuhua01234567

8月5日：2套TOP。+分析完。口语。作文
8月6日：【口语】Q1练习
        【阅读】top一套，分析完了。

amydew

坚持就是胜利，加油！！

童颜公主

来给你加油～

TS28

At the beginning,time is the main element to account for this.The longer you know a guy,the much degree you will know this guy.There no deny（不知道对不对，固定搭配的应该是there is no denying） that we can’t know much about a guy if we just recognize him/her for a peroid of time.on the contrary,it is universally acknowledged that we have known our friends for a long time.A good case in this point is myself:It is in my first semester.i made friends with my roommate,who i thought he was honest.however,he told lie（直接用lied，简洁） to my other roommate,and he even cheated in the exam.Time is important,but it is only just（重复） one of the aspects. It is no dount（固定的是there is no doubt） that intention makes some influence.Why should the guy make friends with you?Just only（前一句是疑问，这句最好是用because承接比较好吧） he/she want to make friends you,or the guy（同一主语可省） wants something behind you?The answear（拼写错误） we don’t know.If the guy make（单三！） relationships whith you just for money or something else,on the other hand,you try your best to treat the guy.It is not until the time that the guy broken you heart you will relaize so precious the old friend is.
Maybe someone would ask”if i don’t make friend with the guy,i wouldn’t know if the guy is a good one?（少引号） perhaps this （is）correct,but I think another aspect will state this clearly:relationship.Relationship means the contaction between you and the person around you.As time goes by,we can know more and more people.But,the one really wants to hear your words in your heart will never show up.They do things for their own benefit.nobody cares about you if you are happiness or sadness（要么用形容词，要么就是be in happiness） today.A good example for this is :when you feel unhappy who is the first person you will think（when一般不接将来时，可以用一般现在时表将来）,the old friend or the new friend?The answear is clear:Old friends will hear your complaint and do their utmost to make you happy.By making you calm down ,they bring you back to the earth.Making new friend also has some benefit.For example,you will learn something from your new friend,and you may get something you need from your friend.However,obviously,the benefits of keep relationship with old friend exceeds the advantage of making a new friend.To sum up,we cannot emphasize the importance of keeping relationship with old friends.（后面是我的想法：我觉得主体段三段式的结构的确比较好，两点原因最后一段让步，虽然比较八股，但是比较好训练和提高，比如，你的这篇，第一段写time，第二段写relationship。然后再另起一段newfriend的好处啦，好的new friend也会渐渐transform into old friend啦。然后，再总结一下全文，重述一下你的观点）

标点虽是小问题，但是细节也很重要，可以搜搜英文写作格式，平时练习就要注意，否则养不成习惯，上考场避免不了犯错的，传一个写作格式，只看前面的就行了。

TS28

我的改好了
The friends that you can have fun with are more important than the friends that you can get help from?
Friendship is an important component of everyone’s life. We all need friends to share our happiness, our secrets, and our sorrows. In fact, different kinds of friends play different kinds of roles in our lives. For example, people always spend their free time with some good friends watching movies, going shopping and traveling. These fellows make our lives stay away from loneliness and monotone. That is to say, we can have fun with these friends. When people really get into trouble, however, they turn to other friends, who can help they get out of trouble. Actually, we do need these two kinds of friends in life, but which ones are more important? As far as I’m concerned, it is more important to have someone who can help me than to have someone who can have fun with me.

As the old saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed. In our daily life, we come into contact with so many people. We study together, we work together, and we have fun together. In contrast, few people stay around you when you need help. If you are accompanied by friends when you are in trouble, you will feel confident and not be afraid. For instance, two month ago, I was sick at school. My best friend Lily took care of me day and night. I recovered soon by her help, and I thank her more than I can say.

Furthermore, it is important for a person to have a friend to study together, encourage each other, and make progress together. Consideration upon different thoughts and ideas broadens our mind, enlarges our vision, and enhances more effective and efficient brainstorm, which undoubtedly gives rise to better solutions. For example, my friend and I prepared GMAT together. I was good at critical reasoning and grammar, and she was good at writing and reading comprehension. We studied together, discussed questions. Although the examination was difficult, we finally got good grades.

Of course, that is not to say, the people who have fun together are not true friends. If the people have the same hobby with you, share the interesting things with you, and not lie to you, you can develop a good friendship with them.

Above what I have discussed, friendship is essential ingredient in all the humans’ lives. There is no denying that we need different kinds of friends. Among these friends, as I say above, the people who can help you are more important than the people who have fun with you.
自我剖析一下子：作文内容不够充实，还要让文章更饱满才行。要多练练，让自己有话说，有思路。还有就是文章的结构和逻辑性，结构要严谨，论述让让人觉得有理有据。

qiuhua01234567

我要把进度贴贴上，前几天都上网少了。
8月8日【听力】弄了好多篇
     【单词】之前的生词本，无老师单词
     【作文】写了一篇，还有修改一篇
晚上：【口语】接着3skills，复习1,2skills。整理昨天的分类。
      【阅读】做一TOP。

TS28

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: If parents want their children to do well at school, they should limit the time their children spend on watching TV.
(Education & Media)

As the modern society develops, there is a general growing trend that education is one of the main pillars of a prosperous society, and parents play a significant role in it. Nowadays, it has been argued that parents should limit the time their children spending on watching TV in order to let their children focus on their schoolwork. In my opinion, it is not a sensible decision for parents to limit their children to watch TV. My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussion.


First of all, I think that guidance is more efficient than limitation for parents to educate their children. How can a child perform well at school without the communication with parents, the guidance of parents, or even the warm atmosphere in family? Parents should spend more time with their children, play together with them, share their experiences of study with them rather than restrict them to do what they like. Take myself for an example. When I was young, my father and mother never limited me watching TV. They even watched tv with me. Besides, they told me the importance of study, helped me when I had questions in learning, and inspired me to develop my hobby. Thus, I have a very happy childhood, and always be the top student in school.


Furthermore, television plays a significant role in modern society. It is unrealistic for a person to live without it. And many television programs aim at imparting certain types of knowledge.The vivid and lively images on television which are more appwaling can help children understand and remember more directly and easily. For example, programs in the Discovery Channel and National Geographic Channel provide plenty of knowledge for children. Even some cartoons can teach children basic skills of language, socialization and art. Besides, television programs are effective in providing the latest news, which is also useful for children to do well at school.

However, there is no denying that watching TV has negative effects on children's physical and mental health. To this point of view, parents should introduce some educational programs to their children and remind them not spend too much time on it.

To sum up, due to the above mentioned reasons, if parents want their children to do well at school, they should pay attention to their schoolwork, spend plenty of time with their children, and guide them to enjoy the benefits of the media.