TWE170 organization

guandream

170 Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

it is not easy at all, and some idea is difficult to express clearly. welcome any suggestion.

Last month, Lisa, a Chinese immigrant in Canada, held a party to celebrate her successful acceptation to the Engineer Association. It is great news for her, because she knows that the membership is a “passport” to continue her professional job in the new country. Lisa’s experience is just an example of the influence of organizations. Organizations are becoming more and more important in people’s lives. Memberships bring people bright future, offer opportunity to realize their values, and foster their leisure time.

To begin with, some organizations set threshold for the specific fields such as medication and care, so the membership is the only way to begin career. Many immigrants who used to be an experienced and trained nurse come to Canada where hospitals lack a large number of nurses or care staff, but they cannot continue their career in this country, since they are not members of the professional association—registered nurse association. Becoming a member of this organization is those people’s dream. Furthermore, The recognized memberships also speed up people’s career. For example, those who are a Charted Accountant have more opportunities to be promoted or to choose their desired fields than their financial counterparts.

Next, the organizations help members realize their values. The purpose of some institutes is to contribute to the society, and these values attract those people who hold the similar values. By campaigning activities and spreading their values to the public, the institutes help their members satisfy values. Save us, a volunteer organization that intends to preserve the extinct animals, gives lectures in the university and government early year since it was founded. In turn, more and more students participate in this activity, and government grants more money into this project. Its members fulfill their value when they are doing their jobs.

In addiction, some organizations also provide their members with funs. People join some groups because they can share their interest with other members. Soccer, the most popular sport in the world, bring its fans together. These fans can shout or cry to display their emotion during the game, and the groups create the exiting sphere that results from the group effect. People enjoy their leisure time in these kinds of groups.

Therefore, organizations play an important role in people’s lives, not just because of the rights that facilitate members’ career, but also because of the obligation that can satisfy their values and the funs of the participation. The organizations will affect people more in the future.

seinfeld0923

以下是引用guandream在2004-10-17 3:01:00的发言：

170 Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

it is not easy at all, and some idea is difficult to express clearly. welcome any suggestion.

Last month, Lisa, a Chinese immigrant in Canada, held a party to celebrate her successful acceptation to the Engineer Association. It is great news for her, because she knows that the membership is a “passport” to continue her professional job in the new country. Lisa’s experience is just an example of the influence of organizations. Organizations are becoming more and more important in people’s lives. Memberships bring people bright future, offer opportunity(opportunities) to realize their values, and foster(? enrich好点吧) their leisure time.

innovative introduction!

To begin with, some organizations set threshold for the specific(in their) fields such as medication and care, so (obtaining) the membership is the only way(for pursuers) to begin (their) career. Many immigrants who used to be an experienced and trained nurse come to Canada where hospitals lack a large number of nurses or care staff, but they cannot continue their career in this country, since they are not members of the professional association—registered nurse association. Becoming a member of this organization is those people’s dream. Furthermore, The recognized memberships also speed up people’s career. For example, those who are a Charted Accountant(boast the title of Charted Accountant) have more opportunities to be promoted or to choose their desired fields than their financial counterparts(who do not).

Next, the organizations help members realize their values(belief and faith). The purpose of some institutes is to contribute to the society, and these values(promise) attract those(多余) people who hold the similar values. By campaigning activities and spreading their values to the public, the institutes help their members satisfy(practice and fulfill their) values(value 用的多了点, goals or aims 如何?). Save us, a volunteer organization that intends to preserve the extinct animals, gives lectures in the university and government early (every) year. As a result, more and more students participate in this activity, and government grants more money into this project. Its members (are)fulfill (fulfilling) their value(goals) when they keep their promise and shoulder their responsibilities.

In addiction, some organizations also provide their members with funs. People join some groups because they can share their interest with other members. Soccer, the most popular sport in the world, bring its fans together. These fans can shout or cry to display(release) their emotion during the game, and the groups create the exiting sphere that results from the group effect. People enjoy their leisure time in these kinds of groups.

Therefore, organizations play an important role in people’s lives, not just because of the rights that facilitate members’ career, but also because of the obligation that can satisfy their values and the funs of the participation. The organizations will affect people more in the future.

good introduction and organization, just pay more attention to alternation of vocabulary and variance of sentence structure.  

let's move up together.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-10-20 0:03:02编辑过]

rt316

偶写的话，从三个方面；

第一个方面，对个人，增加就业，建立共同兴趣，增加交流，如guandream的第三、四段；

第二个方面，对公司、社区或国家，比如：labor union保护employee的合法权利，各个minority的organizaion可以增进民族间的了解，等等；

第三个方面，对社会或全世界，改善环境(Greenpeace - 绿色和平组织 - 可举环境保护的例子)，提高健康水平(WHO - world health organizaion，可以举Sars的例子)，保障全球的和平与发展(United Nations - 可以举美国的反恐战争的例子)

尤其是第三点，偶认为比较容易铺开。

guandream

seinfeld092, stoneren

thanks for editting and sharing ideas.

I will rewrite this essay later.

guandream

valarie

以下是引用guandream在2004-10-17 3:01:00的发言：

170 Groups or organizations are an important part of some people's lives. Why are groups or organizations important to people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

it is not easy at all, and some idea is difficult to express clearly. welcome any suggestion.

Last month, Lisa, a Chinese immigrant in Canada, held a party to celebrate her successful acceptation to the Engineer Association. It is great news for her, because she knows that the membership is a “passport” to continue her professional job in the new country. Lisa’s experience is just an example of the influence of organizations. Organizations are becoming more and more important in people’s lives. Memberships bring people bright future, offer opportunity to realize their values, and foster （sure of this use?) their leisure time.

Good opening. But I don't think the last sentence is convincing. In my view, it's safer to say "memberships may help bring people bright future". Although I'm not sure, it's hard to believe a membership of any organization will be sufficient for one's success in career.

To begin with, professional organizations in some countries play an important role in its residents' career because getting the membership of these kind of organization is the only way to begin a career. For example, in Canada, if someone wants to become a nurse, he must be the membership of registered nurse association. some organizations set threshold for the specific fields such as medication and care, and so the membership is the only way to begin career. As a result, many immigrants who used to be an experienced and trained nurse in their previous residency country come to  cannot continue their career in Canada where hospitals lack a large number of nurses or care staff there are a great demand for nurses and healthcare stuff. But they cannot continue their career in this country, since  Canada because they are not members of the some certain professional associations, Therefore,—registered nurse association. becoming a member of this organization is those people’s dream. Furthermore, The recognized memberships also speed up people’s career. For example, those who are a Charted Accountant have more opportunities to be promoted or to choose their desired fields than their financial counterparts.

Next, the organization help its members realize their values. For many NGOs, their mission isThe purpose of some institutes is to contribute to the society, and these values attract those people who hold share the samesimilar values. By campaigning activities and spreading their values to the public, the institutes help their members satisfy values. Save us, a volunteer organization that intends to preserve the extinct animals, gives lectures in the university and government early year since it was founded. In turn, more and more students participate in this activity, and government grants more money into this project. Its members fulfill their value when they are doing their jobs.

The last sentence is kinda shaky. You may want to revise it.  

In addiction, some organizations also provide their members with funs. People join some groups because they can share their interest with other members. Soccer, the most popular sport in the world, bring its fans together. These fans can shout or cry to display their emotion during the game, and the groups create the exiting sphere that results from the group effect. People enjoy their leisure time in these kinds of groups.

right to the topic

Therefore, organizations play an important role in people’s lives, not just because of the rights that facilitate members’ career, but also because of the obligation that can satisfy their values and the funs of the participation. The organizations will affect people more in the future.

overall it's a good written essay. But the points are not really convincing, I mean to me at least. However, TWE is not about the content of the points but the way you write it.

guandream

valarie,

thanks a lot. 我加油.

but I believe that the content of the points is stil very important in the essay, so I will work hard to improve my writing skills and language.

haha..., I am not sure the usage of  "foster （sure of this use?) " , but seinfeld092 replace it with "enrich"(I like this word).

For many NGOs, their mission is. by the way, what is NGOs?

again, thanks a lot.

valarie

以下是引用guandream在2004-10-18 23:52:00的发言：

valarie,

thanks a lot. 我加油.

but I believe that the content of the points is stil very important in the essay, so I will work hard to improve my writing skills and language.

haha..., I am not sure the usage of  "foster （sure of this use?) " , but seinfeld092 replace it with "enrich"(I like this word).

For many NGOs, their mission is. by the way, what is NGOs?

again, thanks a lot.

You're welcome. I found my edition got some mistakes either. So just for your reference. NGO means non govenmental organizations.

tangdream