第一篇argument 92 求拍

vageena

50分钟 371字
提纲 1. 病假少可能是因为L的人比较尽责，小病就不请假了 而且workers的情况也不能代表这个城市
       2. M村看病的人多可能是因为 M村有好的医生 别的地方的病人也慕名而来 或者是L的人不怎么重视 睡一觉了事
       3. 即使L的人生活悠闲点 也不能说明L的人比较健康是因为这个原因 还有别的原因影响健康因素
题目 Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sickdays than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover,relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness isproportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to theLeeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the healthbenefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville.

Write a response in which you discuss oneor more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation andexplain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presentedin the argument.

In this argument, the arguer draws theconclusion that citizens in Leeville have a healthier life because of theleisure pattern. It is based on several facts such as the data of workers'sick days and of the diagnosis. However, the arguer fails to precludealternative explanation to reach the conclusion.

First, the arguer shows that Leeville'sworkers ask for fewer sick leaves than the Masonton's to demonstrate people inLeeville are healthier. Nevertheless, the arguer does not eliminate otherpossible factors. It is very likely that employees in Leeville are usuallydedicated to their jobs thus they rarely ask for sick leaves especially whentheir illness is not severe enough to effect their work efficiency. Even thoughthe evidence the arguer provides is true, workers' health condition does notrepresent the entire citizens'. The arguer provides no data to indicate thehealth condition of the young and old citizens. Without additional evidence toeliminate the alternative explanations, the arguer could not simply reach theconclusion.


Second, although the diagnosis of mentalillness in Leeville, considering the population, is much fewer than inMasonton, it is not necessarily the case. It is quite possible that this is sosince there are many sophisticated facilities and skilled doctors in Masonton and patients from othercity also look for cure in Masonton. Also, the Leeville's citizens might pay less attention to the mental illness and they generally take a rest to releasethe pressure. Unless the arguer provides more detail statistics aboutthis health problem to eliminate other possiblities, the conclusion is probablyflawed.


Last, even though several evidences turnsout to support that citizens in Leeville do suffer less from the illness, thereis no guarantee that it results from the leisure lifestyle. Many other factorshave an influence on the health condition such as the food quality, the airpollution and the climate. Until the arguer provide compelling evidence topoint out that the situation of the two cities is similar and they arecomparable, the conclusion is definitely untenable.


To sum up, the arguer draws the conclusionthat the leisure pattern in Leeville contributes to the healthier life throughseveral unconvincing evidence and does not eliminate other alternativeexplanation.

aniy

觉得还是有点短，然后简单句多，要是把它们整复杂一点会不会好些？