才开始写，求拍砖~

hysx1988

There is an argument about the reasons to cause the decline of the yellow cedar, a kind of tree which is common in northwestern North America for more than one hundred years. What the reading offered contends that there are three hypotheses advanced by the professors to explain this phenomenon. However, the lecture contradicts the ideas stated in the reading, it argues that those explanations are not reasonable and illustrates why.


 In the first place, the reading states that the insects, especially the cedar beetles, eat the wood and kill a large number of the trees. On the contrary, the lecture contends that the bark and leaves of the yellow cedars are concentrated with powerful chemicals that are poisonous to insects. So the trees are much more resistant and have been away from the damage of the insects. Consequently, the insects are not fundamentally responsible.


 Furthermore, although it is said in the passage that browns bears eat the sweet bark, resulting in the decline of the trees. The lecture holds the idea that the population of the trees decreases in either the mainland where bears live or the island where on bears live. Therefore, the bears should not be responsible for this phenomenon.


 Ultimately, contrary to the belief in the passage that the gradual changes of climate is a cause to the decline, as the roots that star growing in the winter are easy to be damaged by the freezing on cold winter, the professor says that if this explanation is true, the number of dead trees in low elevation with higher temperature in winter should be larger than that of high elevation with lower temperature. But this fact is adverse. Therefore, the root growing early in the later winter can not kill the trees.

hysx1988

毕业两年了，第一次动笔写作文，真是伤不起，希望大家多多提意见了~马上就要上考场了，貌似准备得晚了捏~

hysx1988

5.22 独立

Such a question often poses in front of the undergraduates: whether I have made sufficient preparation to the future job or not and whether I can hunt for a satisfying job after graduation in this competitive society or not. It is undeniable that many people assert that the students should rely on themselves to prepare for their future jobs, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that colleges and universities should do better to help the students prepare for the future work.

To begin with, colleges and universities need to teach more modern and practical knowledge to the students. The world is changing so tremendously that some knowledge is not as useful as before and some techniques are substituted by other new technology. A case in point is me. My major is marketing in the university, after my graduation, I found a adapt job in an electric products manufacturing company which I aspired for many years. But soon, I found that I studied a large amount of knowledge of traditional promotion and places. Unfortunately, our company mostly adopts E-commerce to sell the products which I had never known about. I had to spend much time learning about this place from the beginning. Many of my friends also find these mismatches in their work. So all of us think our university ought to renew the knowledge quickly and efficiently, especially that about our major.

Furthermore, the universities are able to take more measures to raise students’ social skills and office customs to make them get along with colleges and customers well in future. After going into the society, people will face much more complex social relationship. They will face leaders of different rank, ordinary colleges and customs. Knowing correct behaviors and adequate words to different people play an important role in career success. For instance, my best friend is a very brisk and brilliant girl who is very popular among us. At the start of work career, she often interrupt others announcement and express her thoughts. Although she is just ambitious and eager to share her opinion with others, she leaves others a impression of rude. If she had acquired the coaches of office customs, this would not happen. While, few universities are aware of this and set up courses or clubs to coach the students. They should do this job better.

The last but least, the universities can help the students get more internships which are good job preparations. Nowadays, social competition is very intense, while the world economic situation is not very good. As a result, it is harder for a student to find an internship. In China, the universities do not help the student regardless of their difficulties. Consequently, a large number of students lose opportunities to experience doing a job. Actually, the universities can contact with more local or nearby companies often to advise they provide more intern ship to students. Both of them can benefit from this.

In conclusion, there are many aspects that colleges and universities can prompt  in to help students to prepare for their future jobs.

包子不包子

There is an argument about 这句开头感觉不大好哎 第一句要提到讲座和文章吧 the reasons to cause the decline of the yellow cedar, a kind of tree which is common in northwestern North America for more than one hundred years. What the reading offered contends that there are three hypotheses advanced by the professors to explain this phenomenon. However, the lecture contradicts the ideas stated in the reading, it argues that those explanations are not reasonable and illustrates why.


In the first place, the reading states that the insects, especially the cedar beetles, eat the wood and kill a large number of the trees. On the contrary, the lecture contends that the bark and leaves of the yellow cedars are concentrated with powerful chemicals that are poisonous to insects. So the trees are much more resistant and have been away from the damage of the insects. Consequently, the insects are not fundamentally responsible.我记得还有解释为什么会有虫子在树里面 但是没有听太明白


Furthermore, although it is said in the passage that browns bears eat the sweet bark, resulting in the decline of the trees. The lecture holds the idea that the population of the trees decreases in either the mainland where bears live or the island where onno bears live. if it is the reasult of bears...再加一句比较好 嘿嘿 Therefore, the bears should not be responsible for this phenomenon.


Ultimately, contrary to the belief in the passage that the gradual changes of climate is a cause to the decline, as the roots that star growing in the winter are easy to be damaged by the freezing on cold winter,说道frost 了the professor says that if this explanation is true, the number of dead trees in low elevation with higher temperature in winter should be larger than that of high elevation with lower temperature. But this fact is adverse. Therefore, the roots' growing early in the later winter can not kill the trees.

词汇 句式都没什么问题 词汇蛮好的哦
最后可以加上总结段 倒数第二段对听力的叙述有些少了

包子不包子

Such a question often poses in front of the undergraduates: whether I have made sufficient preparation to the future job or not and whether I can hunt for a satisfying job after graduation in this competitive society or not. It is undeniable that many people assert that the students should rely on themselves to prepare for their future jobs, but the overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe that colleges and universities should do better to help the students prepare for the future work.

To begin with, colleges and universities need to teach more modern and practical knowledge to the students. The world is changing so tremendously that some knowledge is not as useful as before and some techniques are substituted by other new technology. 和到一起说吧 词汇重复有些多了A case in point is me. My major is marketing in the university, after my graduation, I found a adapt job in an electric products manufacturing company which I aspired for many years. But soon, I found that I had studied a large amount of knowledge of traditional promotion and places. Unfortunately, our company mostly adopts E-commerce to sell the products which I had never known heard about. I had to spend much time learning about this place from the beginning. Many of my friends also find these mismatches in their work. So all of us think our university ought to renew the knowledge quickly and efficiently, especially that about our major. job preparation for related major 不能直接总结到知识上吧

Furthermore, the universities are able to take more measures to raise students’ social skills and office customs to make them get along with colleges colleagues and customers well in future. After going stepping into the society, people will face much more complex social relationships. They will face leaders of different ranks, ordinary colleges and customs. Knowing correct behaviors and adequate words to different people Konwing how to behave and talk properly..plays an important role in career success. For instance, my best friend who is very popular among us is a very brisk and brilliant girl 感觉这样逻辑性更好哎 . At the start beginning? of work career, she often interrupts others' announcement and expresses her thoughts. Although she is just ambitious and eager to share her opinion with others, she leaves others a impression of rude. If she had acquired the coaches of office customs, this would not happen. While, few universities are aware of this and set up courses or clubs to coach the students. They should do this job better.

The last but not the least, the universities can help the students get more internships which are good job preparations. Nowadays, social competition is very intense, while the world economic situation is not very good. As a result, it is harder for a student to find an internship. In China, the universities do not help the student regardless of their difficulties. Consequently, a large number of students lose opportunities to experience doing a job. Actually, the universities can contact with more local or nearby companies often to advise they provide more intern ship to students. Both of them can benefit from this.

In conclusion, there are many aspects 是讨论应不应该有更好的job preparation 不应该讨论有哪些方面要做吧 that colleges and universities can prompt in to help students to prepare for their future jobs.


总体还好啊
注意细节哦 少了好多s
倒数第二段可以让步写 更有说服力
不知道把实习算在工作准备里面合适不啊
最后总结再斟酌一下吧

hysx1988

谢谢包子哦，一下帮我改了两篇~

hysx1988

5.23独立Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can take care of their family members better when they live in big cities than in the countryside.

Such a question often poses in front of many adults of china which is a tremendously urbanized country in recent twenty years: big cities or countryside, which one I think is a adapt place for our parents to live when they are old. It is undeniable that many people cast their preference to countryside for the fresher air, the more beautiful natural scenery, but overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe the big cities are much more wonderful place for us to take care of our family members.

To begin with, big cities mean more convenient living circumstance. There are many kinds of advance and well-equipped places and facilities, such as hospitals, schools, libraries and so on. All of them are of big importance to the old and young who need the attention most in a family. Without those, they can not live safe and happily, even sometime be dangerous. For instance, my hometown is a small remote country,. Several yeas ago, a distant relative was found be poisoned by carbon monoxide released from the gas stove. It took three hours for her son to drive to a hospital in the downtown area. Though the doctor did their utmost to save her, she died. The doctor said if she can be sent into hospital sooner, maybe she could survive. Obviously, convenient facilities and public institution in the big cities play a significantly important role in our life.

Furthermore, big cities own much more intense and artistic cultural atmosphere which is our family numbers can benefit from. Either hardware of software is better in cities. Only in cities can we find so many theaters, libraries, cinemas and different kinds of clubs. Both the old and the young can find what they are interested in and enjoy then. A case in point is my grandmother. Every night, she went to dance in the public center with my neighbors. They are members of a famous dancing club. Thanks to that, she remains a good health. She loves her life in the old age.

Admittedly, there are some advantages in countryside which big cities can not compare with, such as the fresh air, fresh vegetables and fruits, harmony social atmosphere and so on. Nevertheless, all of those are not as necessary as what the cities provide. In addition, people living in big cities can also buy organic vegetables and fruits for their family members, go to park area to enjoy fresh air and go to clubs to make friends.

In conclusion, big cities are far more adequate and wonderful place to take care of our families to let them enjoy perfect life. When my parents get older, I will bring them to the city where I live in to make more accessible for me to look after them better.

hysx1988

TPO 24:
The topic is mainly discussing a fossil of dinosaur. What the reading offered contends that there seem to be the remains of bone tissues. The researchers found the remains of blood vessels, red blood cells and collagen matrix in the fossil after their break of the T. rex leg bone. However, the lecture contradicts the idea stated in the reading; it argues that sound reasons are skeptical to the identification made in the reading.

In the first place, the reading states that a soft, flexible substance inside the channels may be the remains of the actual vessels. On the contrary, the lecture contends that they may be something else, like the traces of moisture residue after bacteria colonies.

Furthermore, although it is said in the passage that a test shows the spheres in the bone containing iron may be red blood cells. The lecture holds the idea that since the identifiable element was also be found in the fossils of other animals which surely did not have blood cells when they were alive, so the iron may just origin from some piece of mineral.

Ultimately, contrary to the belief in the passage that the bone contains collagen which is a component of living bone tissue, the professor says that we have never found collagen in a animal remains older than 100000 years, but the dinosaur lived in 70-million years ago. Therefore, the collagen may come from recent organisms, like the hand of people who hang the bone.

lxc1989614

Such a question often poses in front of many adults of china which is a tremendously urbanized country in recent twenty years: big cities or countryside, which one I thinkis a adapt place for our parents to live when they are old. It is undeniable that many people cast their preference to countryside for the fresher air, the more beautiful natural scenery, but overwhelming majority of people, me included, believe the big cities are much more wonderful place for us to take care of our family members.

To begin with, big cities mean more convenient living circumstance. There are many kinds of advance and well-equipped places and facilities, such as hospitals, schools, libraries and so on. All of them are of big importance to the old and young who need the attention most in a family. Without those, they can not live safe and happily, even sometime be dangerous. For instance, my hometown is a small remote country,. Several yeas ago, a distant relative was found be poisoned by carbon monoxide released from the gas stove. It took three hours for her son to drive to a hospital in the downtown area. Though the doctor did their utmost to save her, she died. The doctor said if she can be sent into hospital sooner, maybe she could survive. Obviously, convenient facilities and public institution in the big cities play a significantly important role in our life.这段是不是可以精简一下??我觉得后面说的优点繁琐了

Furthermore, big cities own much more intense and artistic cultural atmosphere which is our family numbers can benefit from. Either hardware of or software is better in cities. Only in cities can we find so many theaters, libraries, cinemas and different kinds of clubs. Both the old and the young can find what they are interested in and enjoy then. A case in point is my grandmother. Every night, she went to dance in the public center with my neighbors. They are members of a famous dancing club. Thanks to that, she remains a good health. She loves her life in the old age.这两句可以合并一下`

Admittedly, there are some advantages in countryside which big cities can not compare with, such as the fresh air, fresh vegetables and fruits, harmony social atmosphere and so on. Nevertheless, all of those are not as necessary as what the cities provide. In addition, people living in big cities can also buy organic vegetables and fruits for their family members, go to park area to enjoy fresh air and go to clubs to make friends.

In conclusion, big cities are far more adequate and wonderful place to take care of our families to let them enjoy perfect life. When my parents get older, I will bring them to the city where I live in to make more accessible for me to look after them better.


建议：我觉得你开头还挺好的，但是后面的句子就比较平淡了，建议多背些地道的表达。另外例子举的有点太细了。。。有些其实一句话带过就好了，不然就会显得文章很烦琐。。。