求指教 argument22

2012spring

写的第一篇argument，不计时写的，求指教~~~~
"No one is perfect," the argument is no exception.The recommendation endorsed in this argument is that all colleges and universities should take honor codes that Groveton has adopt in order to decrease of cheating in students' academic endeavors.To support this conclusion, the speaker offers a series of data and a recent survey to demonstrate that Groveton has successfully reduced student cheating with such an honor code.At first glance, the speaker's argumentation appears to be convincing, but ulteriorly analysis shows that there is some questions need to be answered.


First, it is unreliable to prove the real decrease cheating among students with the data only in the first year and five years later and with the students' response.There are too many possibilities to be listed.Perhaps, the case of cheating in the second year, the third year or the fourth year increased sharply that result in the whole increase of cheating.Maybe, some students have not notified their friends for their friendship or students have copied others to get good grades but not informed each other.Probably, students' agreements and pledges may be perfunctory to respond to the survey, but not reflect their actual thought in the depth of their hearts.Summing up the above possibilities, the speaker should better supply more data among other three years and more evidences to justify that the students' acceptance of this honor code is authentic.


Even though,we reluctantly believe there is a real decrease of cheating in the Groveton College, it is not always the contribution of the honor code.This ratiocination is based on the assumption that Groveton did not adopt other measures to reduce the cheating.But in fact, we would never know in this argument whether this college has taken some other powerful measures, such as keep watching on all students' action with cameras everywhere or be too rigorous for cheating punishments to frighten students.Maybe these measures are effective to the decrease of cheating rather than the honor code.So it would be more trustworthy to offer more surveys on what one or some measures result in this positive result..


Granted that above all assumptions and surveys are infallible, there is another problem that the speaker ignored.The author merely takes into consideration some advantages by adopting an honor code, but not disadvantages in many aspects.An honor code may damage the friendship of students by informing teachers of others mistakes, it could also dampen mutual trust and stir up skepticism among students.It is also bad for the mood of the whole campus and may influence on the development of student to become a well-rounded one.Keeping balance between the negative and positive aspects and synthesizing other measures would help reach more effective results.


Finally, in spite of all these unfounded and partial ratiocinations, adopting an honor code is not always helpful to other colleges.Different colleges have different situations so that the same measure that has been benefit to G might not engender similar effects in other colleges.The loss of taking an honor code will outweigh the gain in some colleges where do not have any students who cheat.Or maybe there are some better measures to decrease cheating than an honor code, such as using cameras and reinforce the punishment of cheating.


To sum up, by leaving out some questions, the conclusion that the author has taken great pains to reach might be all in vain.The author wrongly compares other colleges with G, overlooks the disadvantages of an honor code and concludes the contributions of an the honor code in the G on the basic of some assumptions.I cannot be persuaded until the author carefully analyzes all the flaws in this argument and offer more evidences.

普渡哥

这个作者英文水平不错

普渡哥

写得不错，作者可以帮助其他的一些同学。其他同学语法问题太多。

竹林中人

很标准的一篇A，语言也很好，不过建议作者下次附上提纲和题目吧，这样更好

2012spring

好的！下次会注意附上提纲和题目。请问有没有什么问题啊？