阿杰的作文贴，欢迎拍砖！

jasonma2046

People are now easier to become educated than in the past. Agree or disagree?


With the advent of advanced technology, people’s educational needs are abundantly satisfied. Therefore, I agree that people are now easier to become educated than in the past.


First of all, people now have a longer time for education at school than people living in the past. He/She has to stay at school for at least nine years for compulsory education, which not only help them learn basic knowledge on the world but also establish their value system and how to behave properly as a human being. If it is possible, he/she will take further education in the university. Since this has become a common phenomenon, with the lower tuition fee, families can support their children to study in the college.

Another reason for me to believe that people are easier to become educated is that people nowadays do have more access to educational resources. If they make good use of these resources, they could be educated well not only in the educational system but also by themselves. For example, with the help of internet, a student can stay at home to study a subject such as accounting. He can listen to the lecture on the internet, do homework which is valued afterwards by the teachers through E-mails and even sit exams at home. This way of learning can be easily found not only in metropolis but also in the rural areas. Those who can never go to school, such as a disabled student, can easily be taught in this way.

One may argue that without face-to-face interaction and communication, one can never savor the real taste of knowledge and have no full motivation for continuous study. However, I definitely cannot agree. With the help of forum on the internet, the student can raise up questions and discuss with other students and teachers. This more convenient and more private way of Q&A can easily solve the student’s confusions and get to point right away. We may find that some students are shy in real class and feel reluctant to interact with people around. But in the internet classroom, we do not have to worry about this problem.

However, it depends that one can easily become educated without the concentration of attention while studying. I once heard that a student spend seven years in a college for his bachelor’s degree.

To sum up, since the easy access to education, we should cherish the opportunities to promote our knowledge and establish a sense of life-long education.

易雨水巷

雨巷今晚有点事,明天上午发给你哈,抱歉(>.<)


红色为错误/蓝色为疑问或建议/高亮为精彩/绿色为总结
People arenow easier to become educated than in the past. Agree or disagree?


With the advent of advanced technology, people’s educational needs are abundantly satisfied. Therefore, Iagree that people are now easier to become educated than in the past.


First ofall, people now have a longer time for education at school than people livingin the past. He/She(She/he) has to stay at school for at least nine yearsfor compulsory education, which not only help them learn basic knowledge on theworld but also establish their value system and how to behave properly as ahuman being. If it is possible, he/she will take further education in theuniversity. Since this has become a common phenomenon, withthe lower tuition fee,(可单独成为一段的理由,又或者如果搂主想要表达因为费用低而使得获得教育的时间更长,那么应该进行进一步的论述) families can support their children to study inthe college.

Anotherreason for me to believe that people are easier to become educated is thatpeople nowadays do have more access to educational resources. If they make gooduse of these resources, they could be educated well not only in the educationalsystem but also by themselves. For example, with the help of internet, astudent can stay at home to study a subject such as accounting. He can listento the lecture on the internet, do homework which is valued afterwards by theteachers through E-mails and even sit exams at home. This way of learning can be easily found notonly in metropolis but also in the rural areas. Those who can never go toschool, such as a disabled student, can easily be taught in this way.

One may argue that without face-to-face interaction andcommunication, one can never savor the real taste of knowledge and have no fullmotivation for continuous study. However, I definitely cannot agree. With thehelp of （屡屡出现的with thehelp of 可以替代换成due to/because of/thanks to之类的）forum on the internet, thestudent can raise up questions and discuss with other students and teachers.This more convenient and more private way of Q&A can easily solve thestudent’s confusions and get topoint right away. We may find that some students are shy in real class and feelreluctant to interact with people around. But in the internet classroom, we donot have to worry about this problem.(好吧,我感觉这段与主题无关,揉脸,可能是想要表达让步的段落,但是看起来好像是对上一段的让步而不是整个文章主题的让步,so易雨水巷认为如果真的要保留此段可以减少一下字数合到上一段什么的吧，只是个人建议仅指个人建议o(╯□╰)o)

However,it depends that one can easily become educated without the concentration ofattention while studying. I once heard that a student spend seven years in acollege for his bachelor’s degree. （这段是要表达？）

To sum up,since the easy access to education（我觉得在这里since后面跟的应该是个句子啊）, we should cherish the opportunities to promoteour knowledge and establish a sense of life-long education.

To阿杰:
文中屡次出现问题中的people are easier to become educated than inthe past,应该是可以考虑换一下的吧~还有with the help of  以及now nowadays之类的可以多用一些替换词的说
另外，易雨水巷觉得这个论述上还需要加强
But 阿杰的词汇神马的用的还是很不错的O(∩_∩)O~而且木有神马错误，这个灰常不错滴
Rock 加油哦O(∩_∩)O~

jasonma2046

写的不好，请多批评！
4月28日110402 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students should be more focused on the development of graduates than on the fame of professors when choosing university.

Some people prefer to focus on the development of graduates when choosing university. Others, however, prefer the fame of professors as the criterion. As far as I am concerned, fame of professors should be taken into account as the priority in choosing university. This view is based on the following reasons.

In the first place, the fame of professors, in most occasions, means that the university could provide good environment for scientific or sociological research for students, especially for those who attend master’s or doctor’s degree program. Only by making good use of research equipment and facilities, can students do research which lead to highly-yield results. If they have further requirements on conditions for research, the professors can satisfy their needs with abundant resources and opportunities. Besides, a famous professor always visit his/her counterparts in other universities or research institutions, if they bring some students with them, the students can broaden their vision and establish some kind of rapport with these professors, which will definitely be beneficial for their development in the future.

In the second place, fame, as the societally acknowledged authority in a specific field, is always based on hardworking spirits. Fortunately, without any doubts, around the professors, students not only learn how to make research but also learn how to be a researcher with high moral standards. That is to say, a good teacher plays an exemplary role in the development of a student.

Last but not the least, a recommendation letter from a famous professor may make contributions for the graduate to find a job.Thanks to the professor, the students must have gone through a tough and challenging process of learning and research. The fame of the professor has made it possible that he/she may have published plenty of essays on academic magazines. All these efforts will help him/her to find a potential good job.

Admittedly, to achieve success in the academic circle, a student have to spare no efforts to solve problems by themselves and pay persisitent attention on their individual research instead of solo rely on their professors. However, a student should do pay tribute to their professors because without their teachers his efforts will lead to nowhere.

In a word, fame of professors is a smart choice for students to choose university. It can benefit the development of the students.

晨依Jacqueline

4月28日独立修改
红色为错误，蓝色为疑惑or建议，高亮为精彩，绿色为个人点评。
Some people prefer to focus on the development of graduates when choosing university. Others, however, prefer the fame of professors as the criterion. As far as I am concerned, fame of professors should be taken into account as the priority in choosing university. This view is based on the following reasons.

In the first place, the fame of professors, in most occasions, means that the university could provide good environment for scientific or sociological research for students, especially for those who attend master’s or doctor’s degree program. Only by making good use of research equipment and facilities, can students do research which lead to highly-yield(?) results. If they have further requirements on conditions for research, the professors can satisfy their needs with abundant resources and opportunities. Becides(Besides), a famous professor always visit(s) his/her counterparts in other universities or research institutions, if they bring some students with them, the students can broaden their vision and establish some kind of rapport with these professors, which will definitely be beneficial for their development in the future.

In the second place, fame, as the societally acknowledged authority in a specific field, is always based on hardworking spirits(不太地道的表达，有点Chinglish). Fortunately, without any doubts, around the professors, students not only learn how to make(do好些吧) research but also learn how to be a researcher with high morality standards. That is to say, a good teacher plays an exemplary role in the development of a student.

Last but not the least, a recommendation letter from a famous professor may make contributions(make contributions to, to是介词...) for the graduate to find a job.Thanks to the professor, the students must have gone through(不明白为何要用对过去的肯定推测...?) a tough and challenging process of learning and research. The fame of the professor has made it possible that he/she may have published plenty of essays on academic magazines. All these efforts will help him/her to find a potential good job.



Admittedly, to achieve success in the academic circle, a student have to spare no efforts(effort in doing) to solve problems by themselves and pay persisitent(persistent)attention on their individual research instead of solo rely on their professors. However, a student should do pay tribute to their professors because without their teachers his efforts will lead to nowhere.

In a word, fame of professors is a smart choice for students to choose university. It can benefit the development of the students.


[conclusion]

词汇高级，句型多变，表达灵活，论点也很棒。

学习ing~~~撒花！

唯一的建议是可以加上些examples来support你的point，让它更加persuasive！

jasonma2046

4月29日110430 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? We should get to know events happening around the globe even though they do not affect our daily lives.

Oppinions vary among different people on whether we should know events happening around the globe or not. Some people do not think it is necessary to know what is happening in another corner of the world.However, I firmly believe it is a must for a modern man to get access to international news.

Thanks to the modern media, a global citizen can receive information through radio, television and the internet. Sometimes,I cannot help turning to the news channel because of the eagerness to know the latest news. This habit has broaden my understanding on the world. “a butterfly flapping its wings in Rio de Janeiro might change the weather in Chicago” is defined as the butterfly effect. For example, the chaos in the middle east can directly or indirectly influence the oil price in China. When you are complaining the increasing oil price, please make a good prayer for those muslims.

There is no doubt that the world has become smaller and smaller. The exchange and communication between people of different ethnics and nationalities have become so intense that no one can ignore its impact on our daily lives. As a muslim living in non-islamic country, I am always curious about news on muslim world and trying my best to learn as much as possible about islamic culture. Belonging to a minority or subculture means that you have to seek people with the same background on the internet. So there is a necessity to learn at least the weather, geography , cultural differences before talking with foreigners on the internet. For instance, a muslim girl has to wear scarf on their heads. If you do not understand Islamic religion, you may think that it is a discrimination and depression exerted on them. In France, the government forbids them to wear traditional islamic clothes. However, if you know the event, you can make a complaint at least on the internet to support those muslim girls. The Quran says that “ Kindness with the weight of an ant will reveal its reward, evil with the weight of an ant will reveal its detrimental pay-off.”

In sum, as far as I am concerned, it is of paramount importance to know events happening around the globe in order to keep yourself updated to the fast developing world.

喵喵了个咪

改4月29日110430 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? We should get to know events happening around the globe even though they do not affect our daily lives.

Oppinions(Opinions) vary among different people on whether we should know events happening around the globe or not. Some people do not think it is necessary to know what is happening in another corner of the world.(我觉得这句话重复了第一句，是多余的。这句删去后可以把论点句改为One major drawback of this argument is that…)However, I firmly believe it is a must for a modern man to get access to international news.(标点后一定要有空格，否则按错别字看待。)

Thanks to the(不用特指，况且media是复数) modern media, a global citizen(全球人民？那为什么要加a呢？) can receive information through radio, television and the internet. Sometimes, I cannot help turning to the news channel because of the eagerness to know the latest news(感觉用the lust for knowing the latest news更地道些。). This habit has broaden my understanding on the world. “a butterfly flapping its wings in Rio de Janeiro might change the weather in Chicago” is defined as the butterfly effect. For example, the chaos in the middle east(首字母大写) can directly or indirectly influence the oil price in China. When you are complaining the increasing oil price, please make a good prayer for those muslims(专有名词都要大写). (论据和论点联系不紧密，需要用一些句子来引出你的例子。这段的论点不太明确，直说了自己对新闻渴望，但没说蝴蝶效应和他的关系。而且论点也不能充分说明人们需要了解国际时事。)

There is no doubt that the world has become smaller and smaller.(这句话的说法有问题，不是世界变小了，是信息的高速发展拉近了人们的距离。) The exchange and communication between people of different ethnics and nationalities have become so intense that no one can ignore its impacton(in) our daily lives. As a muslim living in non-islamic country, I am always curious about news on muslim world and trying my best to learn as much as possible about islamic culture. Belonging to a minority or subculture means that you have to seek people with the same background on the internet. So there is a necessity to learn at least the weather, geography , cultural differences before talking with foreigners on the internet. For instance, a muslim girl has to wear scarf on their heads. If you do not understand Islamic religion, you may think that it is a discrimination and depression exerted on them. In France, the government forbids them to wear traditional islamic clothes. However, if you know the event, you can make a complaint at least on the internet to support those muslim girls. The Quran says that “ Kindness with the weight of an ant will reveal its reward, evil with the weight of an ant will reveal its detrimental pay-off.” (问题在论点的表述，例子突出的主题在于让人们了解更多的民族文化差异，直接将这个作文本段论点即可。)

In sum, as far as I am concerned, it is of paramount importance to know events happening around the globe in order to keep yourself updated to the fast developing world.

1专有名词一定要大写，如果小写没有意义会被认定为错词。

2文章的逻辑结构不够清晰，可以适当加一些承接词，来突出文章的逻辑关系。

3论点不够明确，导致论据论点联系不紧密。在主体段落的一开始直接提出本段中心论点即可，其他解释等辅助内容放在其后。

能明显感觉到你在规避固定的模板格式，其实有些模板是必要的，比如表示逻辑关系的first, second。虽然看起来比较恶心，不过可以考虑同意替换，比如to begin with, at the same time.

jasonma2046

谢谢易水雨巷、喵喵、和晨依，总觉得自己老跑题，呵呵，想到什么就些什么，以后会注意的！

jasonma2046

The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage, people espectially young people are reading far less literature. However, yet none of them regard in the eye of the lecture.



First of all, the professor claims that people are more interested in reading books like science writing, history and political analysis,which is more creative and also stimulate people's imagination.In contrast, the reading passage points out that less literature are read far less than the used to. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.



Second, the passage demonstrates that people are reading self-help books,which are superficial, poorly written and interllectually undemanding. In the lecture, the professor admits time on readling books are declining but time spent on music, movies are increasing.But this do not lower the culture standards.



Finally, the passage raises the issue that nowadys good literature is being written. The professor opposes to the writer's expectation. He asserts that modern literatures are hard to understand and the readers should not be blamed, content that explicitly contradicts that passage.



In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.

易雨水巷

The lecture apparently disputes the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the passage, peopleespectially(especially)young people are reading far less literature. (大神们说阅读要尽量替换不要抄原文，但是听力要尽力还原原文哦，阿杰这里基本上就是copy了阅读了)However, yet none of them regard in the eye of the lecture.

First of all, the professor claims that people are more interested in reading books like science writing, history and political analysis, which is more creative and also stimulate people's imagination. In contrast, the reading passage points out that less literature are read far less than the used to. So the lecture totally disagrees with the view made in the reading passage.

Second, the passage demonstrates that people are reading self-help books, which are superficial, poorly written and interllectually （intellectually）undemanding. In the lecture, the professor admits time on readling (reading) books are declining but time spent on music, movies are increasing. But this do (does) not lower the culture standards.

Finally, the passage raises the issue that nowadys (nowadays) good literature is being written. (我觉得阅读段的重点是 lack audiences)The professor opposes to the writer's expectation. He asserts that modern literatures are hard to understand and the readers should not be blamed, content that explicitly contradicts that passage.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is presented in the reading material.
To 阿杰模板很不错哦结构清晰有几个小建议哦，也是大神们给我的意见了，拿来跟阿杰分享了1. 阅读：听力最好是1:2了
2.阅读要尽量替换不要抄原文，但是听力要尽力还原原文
3. 单词拼写错误
4.2.3.4段最好超过3句话。。。。5. 我觉得阿杰还需要再练啊，这个阅读TS&听力细节不过，第一次这样已经很不错了，加油了(⊙o⊙)哦
附上晨依的帖子 关于TPO综合写作解析的哦
http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-702988-1-1.html

jasonma2046

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow their children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes.



Nowadays children are too much protected by their parents and grandparents especially in china, where the one child policy exists. The four grandparents, two parents and one child family structure has made the child as the core of the family. But I do believe even under this circumstance, the parents should let their children to make mistakes and learn from them.



To begin with, everyone grows up through making mistakes and learning experience from them. As the saying goes, he who makes no mistakes makes nothing. Thomas Edison made hundreds of mistakes before finally selected the right materials for the light bulb. No pains no gains. Only through making mistakes and conquering them, one can exercise perseverance and sustainability. If the parents always told their children that don’t touch this or that because it is dangerous or threatening, the children will be timid and lose their interests and curiosity towards the world. When a child fell down, the parents always held two attitudes, one is quickly help the child to stand up and stop them from crying by consolation, another is let the child stand up by themselves. By the second approach, the child learned they should be careful when walking and gradually become independent from their parents.



In addition, mistakes are better self-education than direction and lessons given by parents or teachers. When I was a child, there is quite a long time before I found the correct method to learn as effectively and efficiently as possible because I always made the same mistakes again and again. Finally, I decided to write down all the mistakes happened during the exam and read them occasionally so that these materials become my unique weapon to conquer the final exam. To tell you the truth, this method of learning is quite rewarding and it can promote your exam results in a very short period of time. Only by this trial and error experiment, children can truly make progress both academically and socially.



Some people think that children are too young. Serious mistakes can make them psychologically suffering. However, I think, unlike the adults, the children can recover from the psychological pressure more quickly by crying and playing. So there is no need to worry about that.



To sum up, parents should not bind their children for making mistakes. Mistakes are good teachers.