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[作文互改] Issue 31 求大拍---被选为每周一拍。期待各位拍砖。

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楼主
发表于 2012-4-13 23:56:49 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
题目是 Society should make efforts to save endangered species only if the potential extinction of those species is the result of human activities.社会应该努力拯救濒危物种,只要这些物种的灭绝是人类活动的结果。
提纲是:1.物种都很重要,人类干涉的物种灭绝(与自然灭绝相比)对生态危害更大
2.这些endangered species 有很高的科学价值
3.承认这种protection需要有个度,考虑到有限的资源以及其他更加紧迫的问题
结尾:有限度的保护,不过因为来不及了所以只能草草结尾唉

这篇好歹限时写了,但是感觉差很多啊,求版主不留情拍!
The diversity of animals in our planet is aprecious thing that we should all value. However, nowadays, many species areunder danger of extinction because of human activity. Their loss is irreparableand will definitely undermine the balance of nature. Therefore I fundamentallyagree with the statement that society should make efforts to save endangeredspecies only if the potential extinction of those species is the result ofhuman activities. Nevertheless, further scrutiny reminds me that overstatingeither the necessity of such action or the ignoring their extinction will leadus to a jeopardized situation.

Every species is unique to our nature, andit plays its own special role in a ecosystem. Maybe they will die out due tonatural factors such as dinosaur’s extinction millions of years ago. Suchphenomenon is natural and common since these species can not adapt to thechanging environment and let other superior species take their place. However,human activities bring negative impact on their living conditions in a totallydifferent way. By destroying animals’ habitants, these species are forced todisappear. Such extinction will undermine the balance of nature and damage ourwhole ecosystem. For instance, many other species, which rely on the extinct one,will also get endangered. And when the balance is broken, the possibility ofother natural disasters will increase, thus harm the living conditions of humanbeings in return.

Moreover, these endangered species are livefossils of the history and have high scientific value. Studying their uniquecharacteristics and structures can help humans to understand the evolution ofmany kinds of animals, even including human ourselves. So it is ofextraordinary significance to protect them and improve their environment.

However, we have to admit that spending toomany resources on such protection also has negative effects. Our resources arelimited and precious, and there are many other aspects that are eager for them.What’s more, for many species which live in remote jungles or isolated islands,no matter how hard we try, they will still gradually die out as their habitatcan never be restored since damaged. The money we spend, can also be invest inother fields such finding a cure for AIDS, eliminating poverty, reducinggreenhouse gases and so on. These investment can bring us more realisticbenefits, and improving our environment and living conditions in other ways.

To sum up, it isnecessary for us to make efforts to save endangered species if their potentialextinction is the result of human activities. At the same time, we should also evaluatethe cost and benefit as there are not many resources we can waste on the earth.The protection thus should be provident and well-planned.
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沙发
发表于 2012-4-14 00:05:20 | 只看该作者
列提纲吧,这周就选你的作为每周一拍了。
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 09:08:28 | 只看该作者
列提纲吧,这周就选你的作为每周一拍了。
-- by 会员 jameszhm (2012/4/14 0:05:20)

position: 有保留同意
1.物种都很重要,人类干涉的物种灭绝(与自然灭绝相比)对生态危害更大
2.这些endangered species 有很高的科学价值
3.承认这种protection需要有个度,考虑到有限的资源以及其他更加紧迫的问题
结尾:有限度的保护,不过因为来不及了所以只能草草结尾唉
地板
发表于 2012-4-14 19:16:13 | 只看该作者
写的内容还比较充分,继续努力啊
5#
发表于 2012-4-15 23:47:18 | 只看该作者
我先拍,首先要写题目,没有题目别人都不知道你是写什么。
其次,为什么被人类灭绝的就一定有很高的科学价值呢。
living conditions ?---有S的吗?
For instance, many other species, which rely on the extinct one,will also get endangered. 这句话其实根本没有举例子。
期待你的回复
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-16 08:58:23 | 只看该作者
我先拍,首先要写题目,没有题目别人都不知道你是写什么。
其次,为什么被人类灭绝的就一定有很高的科学价值呢。
living conditions ?---有S的吗?
For instance, many other species, which rely on the extinct one,will also get endangered. 这句话其实根本没有举例子。
期待你的回复
-- by 会员 jameszhm (2012/4/15 23:47:18)



题目就是在I fundamentally agree 那里我又抄了一遍;
第二条正面理由我写的也比较牵强,因为限时然后头脑一热就开始凑论点了,望指正;
living conditions 应该可以有s吧,指居住条件
写那个例子的时候我纠结不出一个specific的例子,所以先笼统的写凑字数,感觉自己例子积累还是太少了TT
7#
发表于 2012-4-16 11:42:20 | 只看该作者
我也觉得例子有点少。加油!!
8#
发表于 2012-4-16 20:46:57 | 只看该作者
我先拍,首先要写题目,没有题目别人都不知道你是写什么。
其次,为什么被人类灭绝的就一定有很高的科学价值呢。
living conditions ?---有S的吗?
For instance, many other species, which rely on the extinct one,will also get endangered. 这句话其实根本没有举例子。
期待你的回复
-- by 会员 jameszhm (2012/4/15 23:47:18)




题目就是在I fundamentally agree 那里我又抄了一遍;
第二条正面理由我写的也比较牵强,因为限时然后头脑一热就开始凑论点了,望指正;
living conditions 应该可以有s吧,指居住条件
写那个例子的时候我纠结不出一个specific的例子,所以先笼统的写凑字数,感觉自己例子积累还是太少了TT
-- by 会员 WillDream (2012/4/16 8:58:23)



说理肯定要有细节的,没有细节就是空话,所以当然本文分数是很低的。
9#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-19 22:04:38 | 只看该作者
我先拍,首先要写题目,没有题目别人都不知道你是写什么。
其次,为什么被人类灭绝的就一定有很高的科学价值呢。
living conditions ?---有S的吗?
For instance, many other species, which rely on the extinct one,will also get endangered. 这句话其实根本没有举例子。
期待你的回复
-- by 会员 jameszhm (2012/4/15 23:47:18)





题目就是在I fundamentally agree 那里我又抄了一遍;
第二条正面理由我写的也比较牵强,因为限时然后头脑一热就开始凑论点了,望指正;
living conditions 应该可以有s吧,指居住条件
写那个例子的时候我纠结不出一个specific的例子,所以先笼统的写凑字数,感觉自己例子积累还是太少了TT
-- by 会员 WillDream (2012/4/16 8:58:23)




说理肯定要有细节的,没有细节就是空话,所以当然本文分数是很低的。
-- by 会员 jameszhm (2012/4/16 20:46:57)

TT 421亚历山大
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