【写作小分队】杜绝拖延症 bechasing要拿下iBT

喵喵了个咪

改4.18 独立 Money: Travelling or saving for future?
Currently, with the rapid development of Chinese economy, the common people’s life standard(living standard) is continuously improved and their family income is getting much more than before. Thus they have spared money to dispose in addition to the indispensable part.(储蓄也是管理自己资金的一种方法，我觉得这句话并不能明确体现你要论证的观点) When it comes to how to deal with it, I completely agree that spending money on travelling and vocation is much better than saving for future.

To begin with, travelling around can bring us rich experience about life. Our life is like a journey, only those who know to slow down their pace can appreciate its beauty(主语太长了The senery can be appreciated if someone slow down their step). That is really the point. They can go to interesting places and meet new persons(新人类，表述不对，不同的人就OK了) by travelling. It is connected with getting to know(这两个短语连着用怪怪的，不知道对不对) other cultures and traditions which are surely valuable. Furthermore, it is usually said that journeys educate(journey is education?), so while travelling as well as exploring people can make their knowledge wider and expand their horizons.(句式有问题travelling as well as exploring can make men’s knowledge wider and expanding their horizons.) Also people become more experienced and ready to cope with the surrounding world if they learn something while being in journey. Travelling can enriches people’s ordinary life(daily life) and teaches them how to deal with it.这段有的地方人称用they，但是有的名词却是单数。论证的部分如果不好确定，就全部用单数表示。整段都在证明论点，但是没有例子。举个例子会让文章显得论据充分而且会生动许多。

Another great benefit of travelling is the relaxation you get to do. It’s nice to live life to its fullest and enjoy a stress-free time with yourself. As the old saying goes, all works and no play makes Jack a dull boy. People need to travel to different places to take breaks from their busy work life. Going on vacation(Going vacationing) enable us to recharge our “batteries” by disconnecting us from our regular life. When we come back we feel invigorated and we are happy to be back in our day to day routine. (一句话里有3个WE,可以改变下句式)It’s a very good stress remover that has a lot more to give than most people are willing to accept. One should also note that he cannot earn the countless money in the world but(这句前后没有转折关系) he can spend some to taste the precious joy of life through a travel.

What is more, when traveling with friends or family it creates memories for a lifetime. These memories will create a bond that nothing can erase no matter what happens with the relationship between people. Travelling is particularly worth doing especially at the time when the bond(换成relationship) is alienated due to their individual business. It can give a new perspective on the relationship and cement the bond forever. It also gives nice stories to tell people afterwards. You can create photo albums about your trips and when you feel nostalgic you can take an hour recalling your life and experience about the trips again by looking at your pictures.

To sum up, based on the reasons mentioned above I strongly agree that people should spending(spend) money on travelling instead of saving it since it enriches people’s life experience, bring them joys, and even solidifies the relationship between people.

1.注意主谓一致。

2.对于每个论点举个小例子会使文章更生动。

3.我个人感觉你的语言有点中文化，相对调整下句式会好很多。

bechasing

Science上一篇关于India的精英教育的文章 用词很犀利 筒子们赶紧学习吧
India's Science: Elitism Prevails

After reading the News Focus story “India rising” (R. Stone, 24 February, p. 904) and the related Editorial, “India's ‘science for all’ academy” (R. Mashelkar, 24 February, p. 891), I can't escape asking: Why doesn't such a competent and highly educated scientific workforce produce? It seems that in India, scientists who become successful or achieve some modicum of notoriety eventually become science administrators and preside over（管理） decades of myopic（目光短浅的=near-sighted） science policies and self-preservation, including handpicking those who are “respectful and compliant（=obedient/submissive）,” ensuring vertical transmission of mediocrity and incompetence（平庸和无能ordinariness and inability）. This continuum of elitism, contaminated with favoritism（偏袒=partiality）, leaves Indian science bereft of（丧失了） new ideas and energies. The only time that this practice was defied（公然藐视） was when Nehru (India's first prime minister) appointed a young, energetic visionary physicist named Homi Bhabha, much to the chagrin of the late Sir C.V. Raman (the Nobel laureate). It was Bhabha who ushered the Indian Atomic Energy program to its current stature and competence. In a nation of more than a billion people, there shouldn't be a dearth of （=in short of）energy or ideas. It is sad that Stone did not find any young Indian scientists to write about.

bechasing

Science上的又一篇关于科研激励体制有失公允的评论
India's Science: Excellence Unrecognized

Neither R. Mashelkar's Editorial (“India's ‘science for all’ academy,” 24 February, p. 891) nor the News Focus story by R. Stone (“India rising,” 24 February, p. 904) touched upon the biggest shortcoming of Indian science: its inability to reward, and hence inspire, excellence.

Among the multitudes who brave the largely patronizing and unimaginative education system in India, many researchers do emerge who are capable of emulating （努力赶上...以超过，比得上，效仿） the best in the world. However, no mechanism exists to encourage demonstrated potential or to reward those who achieve better-than-average output. A university faculty member receives the same annual salary raise whether she or he has published 10 papers, one paper, or no papers in high–impact factor journals in the preceding year. Not only is the system unable to provide personal benefits to achievers of excellence, it does not even facilitate （帮助，促进=promote/boost） their work with better research grants（研究资助）. An assistant professor must spend at least 11 years and must achieve a certain minimum research output（科研成果） in that time to be given associate professorship. But if someone achieves double, triple, or quadruple the stipulated （规定的）minimum in less than 11 years, there is no provision （规定） for that person to move up faster than the lesser achievers. Apart from enduring（忍受=stand/abide） the disinterest of the establishment（既有体制）, these scientists also have to contend with（=cope with） the hurdles （obstacles/barrier） placed in their path by envious colleagues.

Once in a while, policy-makers make noises about providing a faster track to those who put in exceptional effort, but the idea is quickly abandoned out of fear of displeasing the fence-sitting majority（骑墙派）. Given this backdrop（考虑到这种背景）, those who pursue excellence in Indian universities and research institutions invoke a mixture of hostility and embarrassment. The treatment they receive becomes a demotivating example for others. The Indian scientific establishment（科研机构） keeps expressing the desire to promote excellence, but on the ground, it does everything to discourage it.

bechasing

4.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should encourage their childrento do their schoolwork independently rather than help children to do theirschoolwork. 20101203 NA

In China,parents are becoming more and more concerned about their children’s education especiallysince the implementation of one-child policy in recent decades. Some parentseven help children to accomplish their homework. As far as I am concerned, Ireally disagree with them to do so because of the following reasons.

To beginwith, do the schoolwork independently can shape children’s logical thinking aswell as develop their problem-solving ability. As we all know, we may product asense of dependency when we ask others for help. So in the long term, helpingthe children with their homework will definitely aggravate this tendency, whichis not favorable for the development of their mental health. However, throughthe progress of solving a difficult task, children would master the methodologyto work out the tough task. Thus a clear mind with strong ability of dealingwith difficult tasks will be shaped gradually. It is the analysis ability thatdetermines a child’s future. Good ability of problem-solving leads the childrento explore and discover their capability embodied in them, and subsequently makesthem professional.

Inaddition, independent work can cultivate children’s perseverance. When a childasks his parents to help him solve a problem, it must be an intricate one. Ifthe parents easily cater to his requirement, the child will lose a superioropportunity of tenacity exercising. As is known to all, a piece of iron shouldbe forged hundreds of times to be qualified steel. This is the same to educatethe children. Only after a child facing hundreds of difficulties, it could makehim really grow up. Furthermore, a favorable psychological quality is asignificant prerequisite of success. The parents cannot guarantee the children asmooth sailing in the future life. For children, coping with the homeworkindependently is an important way to cultivate their frustration tolerance.

What ismore, doing their schoolwork independently can teach children responsibility. Someparents mistakenly believe that they need to oversee all assignments and makesure they are completed perfectly. However, by doing so, children get the wrongmessage that they are not capable of doing their homework without assistance. Thuswith the passage of time, the children will deem that it is not theirresponsibility to complete their own work and turn to their parents for helponce facing difficult things. Independence helps children instill confidenceand a sense of responsibility that will benefit them throughout their lives.

In sum, Istrongly agree that parents should encourage children to do their schoolworkindependently since it is favorable to cultivate their ability of logical thinkingand problem-solving, perseverance with difficulties and teaches them responsibility.

婷婷connie

bechasing，没有看到你19的独立呀

bechasing

bechasing，没有看到你19的独立呀

-- by 会员 婷婷connie (2012/4/21 16:02:58)

啊哈 楼上就是哈