【写作小分队】stones4···超越每天的自己····

stones4

Theorists usually measured progression in terms of increasing social complexity, or an increase in intellectual, theological and aesthetic sophistication. Currently, a trend grows that skillful human resources play as one of the main pillars of a prosperous society. When it comes to a dilemma whether it is more important for a company to invest in improving the skills of its employees. Personally speaking, the answer is yes.
To begin with, the reason why a company cannot emphasize the vitality of its human resource too much is that society changes faster, so what people have learned is faster outdated. We increasingly see education as a critical component of democratic society. This is the same for a company. For intelligent decisions in a company, we need a skillful population. Without doubt, employee is the firm foundation of a company. Only with skillful employees can a company generate a stronger competitive force. Like Huimin Chang, the CEO of Haier says, " the most vauble wealth in our company, is our people, our skillful employees".

Skillful human resources is a non-material resources. The application of higher non-material inputs also raises the productivity of physical inputs. shown that it is possible to reduce the amount of physical inputs in a wide range of activities. Scientific agricultural methods demonstrated that soil productivity could be raised by application of synthetic fertilizers. Dutch farm scientists have suggested that a minimal water consumption of 1.4 liters is enough to raise a kilogram of vegetables compared to the thousand liters that traditional irrigation methods normally required. Henry Ford's assembly line techniques with all training workers brought down the man-hour of labor required to deliver a car from783 minutes to 93minutes. These examples show that the greater input of skillful workers and the thought-power skillful employees create can raise the productivity of physical resources and thereby extend their limits.

Though there are a lot of fields can be considered to invest, such as the update facilities, the appealing advertisement and also the establishment of the new factories. However, let me take the investment in the update facilities for example. Even if a company buys the facilities but because they are the newest styles, thus nobody knows how to use it. The facilities will operate only if they are controlled by someone who is taught how to use. This strongly proves that skillful staffs form the basic component of a company. So the investment in training the employees should be first considered.

In a nutshell, due to the above mentioned reasons which sometimes correlate with each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become more and more convincing than only single one of them, I may comfortable to say that, if a company wants to make profits the first key it has to care is the employee training.

stones4

5月3日20110827 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Patience is usually not a good thing and we need to take actions at once.



Theorists usually measured progression in terms of increasing social complexity, or an increase in intellectual, theological and aesthetic sophistication.Currently, a grow trend that the success of decision making plays one of the main pillars of a prosperous society. When it comes to a dilemma whether patience is a necessity when we take an action. Personally speaking, the answer is yes.
Patience is a good thing and in my view it is not wise to act at once. Paradoxically, people always cope with things they do not familiar with. Information is a key inputs in this modern society, whenever people make a decision, invariably, it is conceivable that they should investigate all the information about the object. For example, ready access to information about economic factors help investors to immediately transfer capital to those sectors and areas where it will fetch a higher return. Compared with those who hear from others and put their money in the markets such as stock market, obviously, people have patience and control all information after a periodic observation can easily make profits. Thus, think twice before make any decisions.

Another reason that I make a disapproval of people should take action at once is because sometimes they do not figure out what they really need. Large scale of surveys by the University of Chicago National Opinion Center have demonstrated that some 40% people regret for their impetuous decisions and those who have to burden the consequence for what they did are most likely to describe themselves as very unlucky. Almost of us wanted to make determinant options on our own, especially when we were young. It is apparent that we want to show our responsibility and we understand all the ethical principles, moral values, political theory, but not to mention who children are in ourselves. When I was 16, math was my nightmare, all I wanted to do is paint. Hence, I drew day and night in order to improve my skills and made preparation for becoming ananimator. In fact, my schoolwork was left behind me, at that time my dad came to stop me and refused my decision to the art school. Actually, I lost my passion a year later, and right now I can sometimes heard many of my friends complain about their determinations to learn art for it is hard to get a job and it will never be their interests again just work. This case is not rare, in reality, people often lose the patience to consider something in a long run. As a result, their lives may not be so smooth.

It is presumptuous to judge the point that patience is not usually a good thing as a fallacy. because the idea that experience is an essential part to form the success. According to which people become patient sometimes for earning more experience sometimes for collecting the experiences from other people. Arguments for empirical thought in his The Postusolates of Empirical Thought Section of the book Critique of Pure Reason, people attempt to describe good based on virtuous thought. Virtuous thought supposes that a virtuous person has a fairly explicit conception of what is called happiness. Kant's perception skews the person's thought because each person perceives an event differently. It is this difference in what people perceive that creates opposing viewpoints on good whether virtuous or not. Indeed, this may slow the the speed for making a decision and even worse we would lose the scarce opportunities. However, opportunities belong to those well prepared people.

In a nutshell, due to the mentioned reasons which sometimes correlate with each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become more convincing than any single one of them.

易雨水巷

先和石头说声对不起，改晚了~~~~(>_<)~~~~

高亮为精彩 红色为错误 蓝色为疑问或建议 绿色为总结

5.2
Theoristsusually measured progression in terms of increasing social complexity, or anincrease in intellectual, theological and aesthetic sophistication. Currently,a trend grows that skillful human resources play as one of the main pillars ofa prosperous society. When it comes to a dilemma whether (+or not) it is more importantfor a company to invest in improving the skills of its employees. (When itcomes to…是个从句，不能单独成句，可将末句作为主句，合成一句。 When it comes to a dilemma whether or not it is moreimportant…, personally speaking, the answer is yes.)Personally speaking, the answer isyes.

To begin with, the reason why a company cannot emphasize the vitality of its human resource too much（这个再怎么样也不过分的句式用的很不错哦，我一直不会用o(╯□╰)o） is that societychanges faster, so （换成 and therefore吧） what people have learned is faster outdated. We increasingly seeeducation as a critical component of democratic society. This is the same for acompany. For（For the sake of会比较好一点儿吧）intelligent decisionsin a company, we need a skillful population. Without doubt, employee is thefirm foundation of a company. Only with skillful employees can a companygenerate a stronger competitive force. Like Huimin Chang, the CEO of Haiersays, " the (The) most vauble (valuable) wealth in our company, is our people, our skillfulemployees".

（加个连接词， In addition/Besides之类的吧）Skillful humanresources is a (如果要用resources 就不要用is & a 啦，直接换成are)non-material resources. The application of higher non-materialinputs also raises the productivity of physical inputs. shown (Shown) that it is possible toreduce the amount of physical inputs in a wide range of activities. Scientificagricultural methods demonstrated that soil productivity could be raised byapplication of synthetic fertilizers. Dutch farm scientists have suggested thata minimal water consumption of 1.4 liters is enough to raise a kilogram ofvegetables compared to the thousand liters that traditional irrigation methodsnormally required. Henry Ford's assembly line techniques with all trainingworkers brought down the man-hour of labor required to deliver a car from783minutes to 93minutes. These examples show that the greater input of skillfulworkers and the thought-power skillful employees create (去掉) can raise the productivity of physical resources and therebyextend their limits.

Though there are a lot offields can be considered to invest, such as the update facilities, theappealing advertisement and also the establishment of the new factories. (我感觉，把开头的Though 换成 Admittedly, 比较好，所谓的倒数第二段让步段)However, let me takethe investment in the update facilities for example. Even if a company buys thefacilities butbecause they are the newest styles, thus nobody knows how to use it(them ，前面facilities是复数). （感觉奇怪，even if有“即使，尽管，虽然”的意思啊，不用再用but了吧，可以换成，nobody will know how to use them because they are the neweststyles.）The facilities will operate onlyif they are controlled by someone who is taught how to use. This stronglyproves that skillful staffs form the basic component of a company. So theinvestment in training the employees should be first considered.

In a nutshell（又学到一个总结词O(∩_∩)O~）, due to the above mentioned reasons which sometimes correlatewith each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become more and moreconvincing than only single one of them, I may comfortable to say that, if acompany wants to make profits the first key it has to care is the employeetraining.

To石头：
总结我就来说一下不好的方面吧，好的就不说了(*^__^*)
感觉石头肿马好像木有用模板，除了开头和结尾，是太久木有写的原因了吗？建议还是看一下模板O(∩_∩)O~
1.这个连接词以及每一段的TS感觉做的不是很好，基本上分论段都缺乏主题句..我以前也不会写，多练练就好了吧
2.这个语法之类的错误比较多，写完以后要检查一下~
我还想再强调一下，最主要的就是第一点关于主题句的问题吧，一定要重视啊！不然看起来文章比较乱，读起来比较费力。
雨巷的意见比较多了，希望石头有用的听，木有用的无视掉就好了O(∩_∩)O~

加油哦，一起努力呢！

stones4

嗯嗯！的确只有结尾模版了一下，关于语法错误···实在是···不知道如何是好

maylovehe1

stone, 我找不到你的文章啊,

stones4

在这面的第二篇，辛苦喽~~

stones4

Theorists usually measured progression in terms of social complexity, or an increase in intellectual, theological and aesthetic sophistication. Currently, there is a growing trend that self-fulfillment plays as one of the main pillars of a prosperous society. Thus, a majority become to face a dilemma whether people work for money or social status. Personally speaking, the main purpose for people to work is to erect their social status.



The reason why I maintain most people work for their social status is because compared with money, social status can better prove their value. As the rapid pace of life today, society accumulates more and more wealth. Under this circumstance, people seldom only serve as bread winners who work day and night to improve the living standards of families. More and more people begin to chase their personal value and achieve self-fulfillment. Robert Punam, one of my psychology teachers once said in her class. " I can make more money, a large amount of money in many ways. But I choose to be a psychology teacher because I love teaching". The large scale of surveys by the University of Chicago National Opinion Center has demonstrated that some 60% people choose to work with something which brings their ideal social status. And those who work for their status are more likely to describe themselves as very happy.



Another standpoint for me to disagree with the people consider money as the first place when they hunt for jobs is that money is cannot bring happiness. No one denies that money is not a panacea, the key to the joyful life is happiness. Happiness which brings by self-fulfillment due to the societal position. Imagine that one has a job through which can pursue only the worthest goals, goals that contribute to the betterment life of others and goals that fit one's personal satisfaction because the contributions to the society they live in. Besides, Money Misery the new science of happiness starts with a simple insight: we are never satisfied. "We always think if we just had a little bit more money, we would be happier." Says Catherine Sanderson, a professor at Amherst College. " but when we get there, we are not. " Practically, if a person set "money" as his or her goals, in a long run, no happiness will this person gain.



Despite the fact social status is an essential part to form one's self-fulfillment. The role of money cannot be ignored. First, it can buy a spacious house with a beautiful garden and also an open car. Everybody will be appreciated to live a sumptuous life like that. Second, children tend to be received a better education which with more money. Good education thus attempts to give a firm foundation for the achievement of personal fulfillment. More importantly, emphasis is often put on economic success in this one's achievement. Actually, we cannot emphasize the vitality of money too much. It does directly influence the individuals, the society's and even humanity's future development and prosperity.



In a nutshell, due to the mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlate each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become convincing than any single one of them. I may comfortable to say that more people put social status in the first place.

maylovehe1

Theorists usually measured progression in terms of social complexity, or an increase in intellectual, theological and aesthetic sophistication. Currently, there is a growing trend that self-fulfillment plays as one of the main pillars of a prosperous society. Thus, a majority become to face a dilemma whether people work for money or social status. Personally speaking, the main purpose for people to work is to erect their social status.

à模板好高深。。。


The reason why I maintain most people work for their social status is because compared with money, social status can better prove their value. As the rapid pace of life today, society accumulates more and more wealth（wealthy）. Under this circumstance, people seldom only (I think seldom and only from meanings a little bit repeated) serve as bread winners (breadwinners, this is a合成词)who work day and night to improve the living standards of families（quality of life?）. More and more people begin to chase their personal value and achieve self-fulfillment. Robert Punam, one of my psychology teachers once said in her class, “I can make(earn) more money, a large amount of money in many ways. But I choose to be a psychology teacher because I love teaching". The large scale of surveys by the University of Chicago National Opinion Center has demonstrated that some 60% people choose to work with something which brings their ideal social status. And those who work for their status are more likely to describe themselves as very happy.
àIf logic is earning more money not means have social value, even personal happiness. However, for example, to become teacher, it may represent some values, personally thinking, you need make up story based on your focus.


Another standpoint for me to disagree with the people considers money as the first place when they hunt for jobs is that money is cannot (估计是打字着急了) bring happiness. No one denies that money is not a panacea; （转折关系）the key to the joyful life is happiness. Happiness which brings by self-fulfillment due to the societal position(句子有问题). Trying to imagine that, one has a job through which can pursue only the worthiest goals,andgoals that (which) contribute to the betterment life of others, and also goals that fit one's personal satisfaction because the contributions to the society they lived in. (这句话有点怪怪的)Besides, Money Misery the new science of happiness starts with a simple insight: we are never satisfied. "We always think if we just had a little bit more（a bit more or a little more, btw, do not always use one word-more）money, we would be (deserved much) happier." Says Catherine Sanderson, a professor at Amherst College. “but when we get there, we are not. " Practically, if a person set "money" as his or her goals, in a long run, no happiness will this person gain.

àNeed more practice on your wording and the expression you want to show.

Despite the fact social status is an essential part to form one's self-fulfillment. The role of money cannot be ignored. First, it can buy a spacious house with a beautiful garden and also an open car. Everybody will be appreciated to live a sumptuous life like that. Second, children tend to be received a better education which with more money. Good education thus attempts to give a firm foundation for the achievement of personal fulfillment. More importantly, emphasis is often put on economic success in this one's achievement. Actually, we cannot emphasize the vitality of money too much. It does directly influence the individuals, the society's and even humanity's future development and prosperity.
àThis paragraph is good


In a nutshell, due to the mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlate each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become convincing than any single one of them. I may comfortable to say that more people put social status in the first place.



总结：楼主的词汇很好，偶尔有些词汇需要避免重复。总之，我们一起努力吧！ ^_^

易雨水巷

绿色为总结 蓝色为建议或疑问高亮为精彩红色为错误
Theorists usually measuredprogression in terms of social complexity, or an increase in intellectual,theological and aesthetic sophistication. Currently, there is a growing trendthat self-fulfillment plays as one of the main pillars of a prosperous society.Thus, a majority become to face a dilemma (我觉得这不是一个进退两难的困境，可以换成，There is heat discussion about/ People from divergent backgroundshold different views about，就是说模板可以用，但也要根据主题稍微换一下句子哦，有些不是很合适嘛O(∩_∩)O)whether people work for money orsocial status. Personally speaking, the main purpose for people to work is to erect their socialstatus.

（+ Tobegin with/ First of all之类的词）Thereason why I maintainmost people work for their social status is because compared with money, socialstatus can better prove their value. As the rapid pace of life today, societyaccumulates more and more wealth. Under this circumstance, people seldom onlyserve as bread winnerswho work day and night to improve the living standards of families. More andmore people begin to chase their personal value and achieve self-fulfillment.Robert Punam, one of my psychology teachers once said in her class. " Ican make more money, a large amount of money in many ways. But I choose to be apsychology teacher because I love teaching". （+ What is more/Besides/In addition之类的词）Thelarge scale of surveys by the University of Chicago National Opinion Center hasdemonstrated that some 60% people choose to workwith something （如果是要表达“60%的人选择可以带来理想的社会地位的工作”的话，建议将work with something 换成 a job， 因为to work ,本来就有去工作的意思哇，加上个with something 是要干啥？一般是work with sb 和sb 一起工作的意思吧）which brings their ideal social status. And those who work for their status aremore likely to describe themselves as very happy.
（+What is more/Besides/In addition之类的词） Another standpoint for me to disagreewith the people consider money as the first place when they hunt for jobs isthat money is cannot bring happiness. No one denies that money is not a panacea,（+and 连结前后两个句子）the key to the joyful life is happiness. Happiness which brings byself-fulfillment due to the societal position. Imagine that one has a jobthrough which can pursue only the worthest（worthiest）goals, goals that contribute to the betterment life of others and goals thatfit one's personal satisfaction because the contributions to the society theylive in. Besides, Money Misery the new science ofhappiness（作为 Money Misery的同位语，前后加个逗号吧） starts with a simple insight: we arenever satisfied. "We always think if we just had a little bit more money,we would be happier." Says Catherine Sanderson, a professor at AmherstCollege. " but when we get there, we are not. " Practically, if aperson set "money" as his or her goals, in a long run, no happinesswill this person gain.

Despite the fact social status isan essential part to form one's self-fulfillment. （despite 本身是介词，后面不能加句子）The role of money cannot be ignored. First,it can buy a spacious house with a beautiful garden and also an open car.Everybody will be appreciated to live a sumptuous life like that. Second, children tend tobe received a better education which with more money. Good education thusattempts to give a firm foundation for the achievement of personal fulfillment.More importantly, emphasis is often put on economic success in this one'sachievement. Actually, we cannot emphasize the vitality of money too much. Itdoes directly influence the individuals, the society's and even humanity'sfuture development and prosperity.

In a nutshell, due to the mentioned reasons,which sometimes correlate each other to generate an integrate whole and thusbecome convincing than any single one of them. Imay comfortable to say that more people put social status in the first place.（毕竟题目是问同意不同意Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purposefor people who have jobs is for money rather than social status.所以在最后总结还是说自己同意哪一个吧）

To  石头
首先，词汇很高级O(∩_∩)O~
其次，例子很好！向石头学习！
再次，这次读起来比以前好多了哦，逻辑主题句神马的O(∩_∩)O~
最后的最后，建议石头换个模板试试，不能总用一个模板的O(∩_∩)O~
加油↖(^ω^)↗

stones4

We increasingly see education as a critical component of democratic society. For intelligent decisions in a democratic society, we need an educated people. Currently, there is a growing trend to focus on the that should parents help the children when they accomplish the assignments. In my standpoint, parents would better to foster children work on their own. And here are my opinions.
To begin with, encourage the children work on their own helps children acquire the ability of independence, which is a primary goal of family education. "The responsibility and obligation that the education carries is to impart to the young generation sufficient qualities and abilites to settle down themselves in society." This famous remark by a well known educator in my country is the real portraiture of successful education. As an integral part of education, family education, in which people are the direct supervisors of children, should follow this true definition of education, aiming at cultivating children to acquire a sense of self reliance and becoming capable of standing on their own feet. Thus, intelligent parents are supposed to guide the young to make decisions for themselves on purpose.

Another shortcoming of parents to help their children do their schoolwork is that the function of homework is to examine what the students have learned in class and help them get a better understanding of the knowledge. If parents finish the work for their children, without doubt, it virtually decreases the opportunities for children to take a deep consideration of the subjects. As the saying goes "no pain, no gain". Thus, it is students duty to achieve the work themselves. To illustrate, when I was a kid, invariably, my dad was asked to assistance with my schoolwork. Though pretty relaxed everyday, ultimately, a "C" was marked in my final paper. This case is not rare, in reality, many people rely too much on others mainly because they are used to doing that. Thus, parents should take care of the case that does not help the children with their assignments.

Despite the fact that independence is an essential to children's future career, the role of parents assistance cannot be ignored. Practically, it cannot emphasize the vitality of the support by parents too much, for children today are easy to dismay. Something likes tackle a problem unsuccessfully or make stammer speech in the public. Whereas, when children face problems while doing schoolwork, they may be easily feel stress, in this case it is wise for parents to give them a hand immediately.

In a nutshell, due to the mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlate each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become more convincing than any single one of them. I may comfortable say that, for parents the best way to help their children is let them grow independently. So stimulate the children do homework themselves.