【写作小分队】stones4···超越每天的自己····

婷婷connie

5.5 独立改文
We increasingly see(regard) education as a critical component of democratic society. For intelligent decisions in a democratic society, we need an educated people.(这句话可以去掉，很多话跟第一句重复了)Currently, there is a growing trend to focus on the that should（这里读不通）parents help the children when they accomplish the assignments. In my standpoint, parents would better to foster children work on their own. And here are my opinions.
To begin with, encourage the children work（encouraging the children to work） on their own helps children acquire the ability of independence, which is a primary goal of family education. "The responsibility and obligation that the education carries is to impartto(删掉) the young generation sufficient qualities and abilites(abilities) to settle down themselves（settle themselves down） in society." This famous remark by a well known educator in my country is the real portraiture of successful education. As an integral part of education, family education, in which people are the direct supervisors of children, should follow this true definition of education, aiming at cultivating children to acquire a sense of self reliance and becoming capable of standing on their own feet. (哇， 这个句子好长哦,佩服死了)Thus, intelligent parents are supposed to guide the young to make decisions for themselves on purpose.

Another shortcoming of parents to help their children do their schoolwork is that the function of homework is to examine what the students have learned in class and help them get a better understanding of the knowledge. If parents （help）finish the work for their children, without doubt, it virtually decreases the opportunities for children to take a deep consideration of the subjects. As the saying goes "no pain, no gain". Thus, it is students' duty to achieve the work themselves. To illustrate, when I was a kid, invariably, my dad was asked to assistance with my schoolwork. Though pretty relaxed everyday, ultimately, a "C" was marked in my final paper. This case is not rare, in reality, many people rely too much on others mainly because they are used to doing that. Thus, parents should take care of the case that does not help the children with their assignments(and no longer help the children with their assignments).

Despite the fact that independence is an essential to children's future career, the role of parents assistance cannot be ignored. Practically, it cannot emphasize the vitality of the support by parents too much, for children today are easy to dismay. Something likes tackle a problem unsuccessfully or make stammer speech in the public. Whereas, when children face problems while doing schoolwork, they may be easily feel stress（stressed）, in this case it is wise for parents to give them a hand immediately.
让步这段不太说服人，可以从另一个角度去说，家长在一个关键的事情上需要给孩子帮忙，like future career or marriage.
In a nutshell, due to the mentioned reasons, which sometimes correlate each other to generate an integrate whole and thus become more convincing than any single one of them（这句话的模板感觉太明显了，尽量不要用大段的模板哦）. I may comfortable say that, for parents the best way to help their children is let (letting)them grow independently. So stimulate the children do homework themselves.

Conclusion：stone的文基本上已经很好了，但是要注意动名词的使用，动词是不能做主语的，还有尽量淡化模板的使用，让它成为自己的东西~加油哈

stones4

TPO10The lecture apparently refutes to the points illustrated in the reading material. According to the professor
Which differs from the statement of the reading that the decline of the otters mainly to the pollution problems rather than attacked by predators.

The first point the professor uses to cast doubt on the passage is that because the pollution problem is getting weak and thus there is no dead otters can be found in the Alaska coast. And this may indicate that otters are attacked by the predator. Since, once predators have catched them up immediately, it can explain why we cannot see any otters wash up to shore. On the contrary, the reading contends an opposite stand that environmental pollution, such as oil rigs and chemical pollution which examined from the water samples, is threatening to the otters.

Another evidence the speaker adopts to contradict the passage is that only a few possibilities for orca to prey the whale because of human activities that whales almost disappear. And also, some small animals such as sea lions and other mammals may eaten by orca for it changes its diet. Paradoxically, the reading states that the decrease of seals and sea lions proves a strong clue that pollution causes the problem to the all coast.

In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contracts with what is present in the reading material. The profess claim that, uneven patterns can better explain by predators. The reason depends on whether the location where they live is accessible to orcas or not. In the location orca can access easily, otters will decline greatly. While the passage holds that the uneven pattern of otter decline is account for the environmental pollution.