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[作文互改] Issue 57,请大家帮忙看看这样写算不算跑题啊,狠拍

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楼主
发表于 2012-2-11 14:36:46 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
The main benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that people living now are significantly different from people who lived in earlier times.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


As is universally known, there are a lot of benefits to study history. I agree with the notion that the main benefit of studying history is to make us realize that people living now are not significantly different from people who lived in the past. Besides, in my view, the study of history has many other meaningful benefits as well. Below are my three reasons to support my stance on this issue.


To begin with, the study of history indeed makes us dispel the illusion that we are not greatly distinct from people who lived in the earlier times. Given that our life now is more brilliant and thriving than in the past, many people naturally think that people living now  are also more superior and intelligent than people who lived in the past. However, as a matter of fact, these significant advancements are based on the accumulations of the long historical development. Compared to those people who lived in the past, we are merely luckier that we are living behind them. We stand on their shoulders and make great progress which does not necessarily mean how excellent we are. If the people who lived in the earlier times could live in the modern society, they might make the same, if not more, outstanding achievements than us.


In addition, another benefit of studying history is that we can learn some classic theories or practices which still produce far-reaching effects today. George Washington, the first and the most distinguished president of America, is a striking instance. He contributed greatly to the independence of America and the establishment of the Constitution. He advocated democracy and equality from which people attain a lot of benefits. Moreover, the system of presidential inauguration that a president can only serve two consecutive terms is still available now. Through the study of history, these policies can guide us to make more rational and appropriate decisions today.


Finally, the study of history is beneficial since we are able to draw lessons from it and avoid repeating the same mistakes. We should spare no efforts to prevent some erroneous problems happening again. Nobody is willing to recall the distress from the two World Wars. A large number of people lost lives, homes and families. And history proves that wars cannot solve crisis, but enable more innocent people to trap in a series of crisis. In modern society, we are supposed to resist violence and solve problems with peaceful approaches. Therefore, history to some extent is helpful to avoid the same tragedies reappearing.


To sum up, the study of history eliminates our sense of superiority to the people who lived in earlier times. Moreover, history benefits us to realize its advantages and disadvantages which guide us to avoid the same mistakes recurring and make more rational and correct judgments.
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-2-12 02:09:18 | 只看该作者
整篇文章我就花了第二段写现代人和历史人是否相同,其他两段都引申到写other benefits of studying history了,大家看这样写算不算跑题了呀,不胜感激!
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-2-13 14:46:41 | 只看该作者
为啥没人拍啊?各位大神,使劲拍啊
地板
发表于 2012-2-15 19:37:11 | 只看该作者
你的这种结构安排是不错的,但你的第一段表述就不很好了,你同意了题目的观点,但你又写了其他的好处。建议你这样,知道现在的人与历史上的人并不是不一样这不是历史的最主要好处,只是一种好处,还有跟多的其他的更好的好处,这样你的文章就不会显得偏离自己的立场了
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-2-16 13:14:21 | 只看该作者
谢谢竹林中人,有人拍的感觉真好,让我知道这篇文章还是在点上,我稍稍改了第一段,大家看会不会好点,谢谢!

As is universally known, there are a lot of benefits to study history. Although one of the benefits of studying history is to make us realize that people living now are not significantly different from people who lived in the past, however, in my view, the study of history has many other essential and meaningful benefits as well. Below are my three reasons to support my stance on this issue.
6#
发表于 2012-2-16 13:30:15 | 只看该作者
谢谢竹林中人,有人拍的感觉真好,让我知道这篇文章还是在点上,我稍稍改了第一段,大家看会不会好点,谢谢!

As is universally known, there are a lot of benefits to study history. Although one of the benefits of studying history is to make us realize that people living now are not significantly different from people who lived in the past, however, in my view, the study of history has many other essential and meaningful benefits as well. Below are my three reasons to support my stance on this issue.
-- by 会员 fanfan3200 (2012/2/16 13:14:21)

嗯,前面有了although,后面的however就没必要了,行
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