ISSUE 拙作一篇 求拍 最好是结构和逻辑的分析

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To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.



Passage:

The statement suggests that we should focus our attention on the major cities if we want to study the most characteristic feature. The statement perhaps makes such a conclusion by considering the population and the importance of the major cities. It does make sense in somesituations but not always right. However, I propose that the minor cities can also possess
intrinsic character of the nation, not always major cities.

Admittedly, major cities do have many important historic constructions that some importantevents in the formation of the nation, which is vital to the character of a nation .For example,in China, the capital -Beijing, has a very important historic relationship with the character of China. As is known to all, China has been a imperial nation for five thousand of years, which is nearly two hundred times than the history of the USA. Hence, the greatest character of China mush be combined with the ideology of China such as the civility and protocol ,together with a condescending attitude towards all the other countries.All of this can be find in Beijing. Apart from historic reasons, the population of major cities is often huge, because in the major cities, the economy condition is better than those minor cities.  So many people will choose to settle in Beijing , while they maybe from different kinds of place, speaking different kinds of vernacular. Thus, it is easy to find any kind of people with any kind of background , which is good for study of character of a nation.

However, major cities of nations all over the world on some aspects may perhaps  have a tendency to become similar, or directly , modern. It is indeed true that the success of west countries of the past few decades do have a great influence on the whole world. For example, it is hardly happen that a national leader wearing his own traditional suit will have a meeting with foreign leaders. Much often as we see, they often take western suit, which is influenced by the western condition. In addition, the major cities have built many skyscrapers, subway and some else modern transportation facilities, with masses of cars running on the road everyday. No wonder about that some foreigners said that they first thought it was in Paris when came to Beijing in 2008. The homogeneity is going to lessen the special character of a nation.

On the contrary, the minor cities has some important features of a nation. Because it is less developed than the major cities . Thus a lot of tradition and sights has been persevered well ,not being impaired by the fast development.  For example, in the western China, the Tibet has a long history of Frend and it represents and reflects the character of peace due to that along the highway to Tibet, what you see mostly  is the white 'shabai' - a kind of material the Zang people use, with the blue sky and white mountain. The atmosphere of peace is everywhere in the Tibet, and also can be reflected to the harmonious policy of China towards all the foreign countries. While Tibet has a quite low GDP, it has persevered a most important character of China through the five thousand years, a harmonious serenity.

In conclusion, both types of city has its different kinds of styles, which both would be helpful to gather information about characters of a nation. Hence, from the above discuss , it is perhaps judicious to study the greatest character of a nation both in major cities and minor cities.

lukebrehm

1. we want to study the most characteristic feature(s) >of a society<.
2. some(SPACE)situations but >is< not always right.
3. intrinsic (--don't worry about trying to use fancy words, its not intrinsic ;) character(s) of the nation, not always major cities.
4. Admittedly, major cities do have many important historic constructions in which some important events in the formation of the nation occurred, (--compare to before)
5. nation for five thousand of (omit, OF) years,
6. the capital -Beijing (Beijing),
7. character of China mush (must) be combined with
8. which is good for the study of a nations character. (--compare to before)
9. On the contrary, (--its not exactly contrary...)
10. the minor cities has (have) some important features of a nation.
11. Because it is less developed than the major cities, there is a lot of tradition (--compare to)
12.  For example, in the (omit, THE) western China, the (omit, THE) Tibet has a long history of Frend (Frend??)
13. the white 'shabai' - a kind of material the Zang people use, (--right here you have two Chinese words, do you think foreigners will understand??)
14. peace is everywhere in the (omit, THE) Tibet,


Good points