Issue 1，拍拍拍——已修改，再求拍

fanfan3200

As people rely more and more on technologyto solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surelydeteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to whichyou agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for theposition you take. In developing and supporting your position, you shouldconsider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explainhow these considerations shape your position.

Many people think that the ability of humans tothink for themselves will surly deteriorate as they rely more and more ontechnology to solve problems. I cannot agree the notion, on the contrary, Ibelieve that using technology to solve problems will not lead people's thinkingability to decline, but to some extent enhance their thinking ability.


To begin with, technology ensures people to work efficiently so thatthey can save time to think more abstruse problems. Why do people rely more andmore on technology? There is no denying that it is more convenient andeffective by using technology to solve problems.  Taking calculator for example, it can notonly calculate quickly and precisely, but also reduce the repeating and boringmental work for humans so that they can spend more time on analyzing theresult. Moreover, as for adding the calculator in the quantitative section ofthe revised GRE, the genuine purpose of ETS is to make sure of examinees havingadequate time to focus on logical deduction, rather than trapping them in thecalculation. Consequently, in this case, relying on calculator will not declinebut instead enhance people's logical thinking ability.


In addition, learning how to master modern technology is a prerequisiteof solving problems, which enforce people to study and deliberate morequestions. It is generally thought that not every worker is able to masterthose high-technology skills easily. For example, a mobile crane, a necessityfor setting up high buildings or bridges, whose operator must attendprofessional courses and pass the relevant exam before operating the machine.If the operator cannot get a crane driver’s license, he or she is not permittedto control it. Accordingly, depending on advanced technology indeed plays anactive role in people's learning and thinking capability.


Thirdly, relying on technology will cause some new problems which encouragepeople to think and solve. We again take the foregoing mobile crane forexample, which cannot be working all the time without any malfunction. Once itcannot work in order, technicians have to find out what kind of troubles that occur.Sometimes it may be design faults, which require designers to rethink it deeplyand design a more reasonable and reliable program. It can be said that allpeople who participate in designing and producing the crane should considerprofoundly and figure out those new flaws.


In conclusion, depending on technology to solve problems makes ourlife comfortable and less laborious. However, humans are supposed to keepstudying and mastering the technology skills. Meanwhile, a growing number ofnew problems caused by using technology will inspire people to solve.

fanfan3200

编辑了几次，还是有很多词连在一起，不晓得怎么弄的好读一点，知道的朋友请吼一声啊，谢谢

普渡哥

我觉得没有说到点上去，这篇不是要你说新科技的好处，而是要论证是不是会影响人类的思考能力。应该重点在论述跟思考能力的关系。

普渡哥

你最好直接在论坛上打字。

fanfan3200

求更多的朋友来拍啊，拍完了我做修改啊

lukebrehm

I agree with 普渡哥, it wasn't exactly on the point but it would serve nicely for an article on the positive aspects of technology nicely writen

fanfan3200

我仔细读了几遍，觉得最后一段是写的有点跑题，但觉得貌似中间的内容还在话题内啊：

To begin with, technology ensures people to work efficiently so that they can save time to think more abstruse problems.

In addition, learning how to master modern technology is a prerequisite of solving problems, which enforce people to study and deliberate more questions.

Thirdly, relying on technology will cause some new problems which encourage people to think and solve.

最后一段修改如下：
In conclusion, the thinking ability will not decline when we depend on technology to solve problems. In fact, in order to master the technology skills, humans must keep thinking and studying. Meanwhile, a growing number of new problems caused by using technology will motivate people to think and solve.

如果普渡哥和luke能看到，请具体来拍拍，感激不已啊！

lukebrehm

Don't worry its not that bad you just need to address the issue of whether or not the ability of humans to think for themselves will deteriorate or not.

Your revision of the last paragraph is a lot better

uniquechong

instruction中明确说要写到正反两面，只写一面，是否不妥？

举到算盘的例子，这个貌似是北美范文中的例子，能否换一下？ 说到GRE，说用计算器可以enhance people's logical thinking ability 这个貌似没有说服力，貌似只能说明它没坏处，但并不能说明它可以增强逻辑思维能力。

嗯，就拍这么多吧~
我也要重新考G了~~