大家帮我看看作文好吗?

fariycat

以下是引用pumpkin在2004-6-26 5:00:00的发言：

偶有点不同啊, 刚刚考过GMAT, 还是AWA的那点准备.

因为AWA只考了4.5, 被教育了, 说TWE一定要5分以上. 现在在努力准备中.

可以多看看范文. 但是155范文也有写的很不好的地方. 就看看内容吧.

偶觉得, 可以找10片GMAT的AWA来看看. 那些范文基本没错误, 用词也规范些.

个人看法, 等这里的高手出来指点偶们吧.

我的文章语法和拼写错误是太多了,自己按改错题做也能挑出不少来.真是不好意思叫大家看.怕考试时也来不及改了.155片我看过了,也觉得有的不怎么样,也看了新东方作文宝典,其中20多篇高难度范文很好,也好好看了.里面的好多词也抄出来,并记了两遍.但好多我还不会用.大家是不是都背范文呀?

enjoylife517

考试的时候，如果有些词不确定，建议还是不用，托福作文词汇简单点没有关系，只要表达清楚就可以。当然背范文有好处，对结构、和文法都能帮助体会

fariycat

enjoylife,谢谢了!刚才又学习了pumpkin的作文,内容丰富,又有深度.我写的真差呀..我想尽快申请法学院,我的差距实在太大了..不过,我会继续努力的.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-6-26 5:46:52编辑过]

enjoylife517

加油加油！

fariycat

用模版套了这篇.请大家帮着砸一下.谢谢.我这样练下去行吗?

184. Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are some people who think that studying alone is better, but others prefer to study with a group of students. If I would be asked this issue, I would probably follow the latter. In the following discussion, I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

No issue is more important today than this one that the information is a very important part in study, which means lots of study materials and methods that we can share with others. As it is know to us, most of science inventions in the history are created by groups, but not by individual. Anyway, one person's intelligence is always limited, so if we can get some important information or experiences from our group, maybe we can attain more benefits in our study. Don't you think these examples quoted above are very persuasive?

Encouraging each other is another head and chief reason that I have chosen to put here. It is no better illustration that can demonstrate the view. Nowadays, study competition became more and more acute. Every student should face heavy studying pressure. Sometimes, we will fall into depression, but, if we can communicate with our group and get encourage or advice from the others, we should overcome such situation more easily. If you can see that, you can understand it more deeply.

Extending social circle is the last but not the least valuable reason. The students in the same groups are very familiar with each other, thus they can not only help with each other in studying, but also make friends in the groups. As we all know, the more friends a person has, the more social activity they should have. The most important result is that they will get more support and affection in their lives.

Superior as studying in groups is, however, it is also have its own shortcomings, such as spending time. Nevertheless, the merits of studying in groups carry more weight than that of its disadvantage. So the most striking conclusion is obvious.

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus became more persuasive, we can safely reach the conclusion that studying in groups can be more efficient. In fact, not only do I prefer to study in groups, but also prefer to join a group as large as possible.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-7-9 8:35:24编辑过]

曾经沧海难为水

fariycat 对不起，以为你是小孩，我的语言有些急。我的年龄也不小了，但坚持一天写2篇以上，然后找老外点评，感觉效果甚丰。特附上一篇我最近写的一篇文章，作为互勉。 When it comes to issue as to whether students should evaluate their teachers, people may provide different responses. As far as I am concerned, I agree the statement and I will elaborate my views as follows. First of all, knowing what students said about them, teachers can be encouraged or changed. On the one hand, the teachers, who receive critiques, will improve their teaching content and measure in order to satisfy the need of students. On the other hand, the teachers, who were praised for their excellent job by students, will be inspired to continue to make all efforts to their work. Both of these vividly indicate that it is conducive to competition among teachers who are estimated by students. Another reason for my view is that through this measure, administrators can master the teaching situation of all teachers. For example, at the end of each semester, the teachers in laceType w:st="on">universitylaceType> of laceName w:st="on">TorontolaceName> are evaluated by the questionnaires filled out by their students and in touch with the representatives of their students. In order to avoid prejudice of adolescent attitude, administrators of U of T review evaluations repeatedly and reach the end result. Using this result, they put forward some constructive suggestions such as effectiveness or inadequacy of teaching to each teacher. Obviously, through this method, administrators of school can regulate teachers effectively. It should be admitted that this practice can bring some disadvantages such as waste some student’s time. However, considering its overwhelming advantages, these side effects can be simply ignored. Moreover, through such evaluation to teachers, students can better understand toilsome work of their teachers and learn to take responsibility for others. They will do best in class in order to get good reputation. Apparently, the evaluation practice is beneficial to personal development of students. In a final analysis, based on what I presented above, evaluating teachers by students can bring a lot of advantages. Therefore, we should applaud this practice. (323) July 5, 2004

fariycat

没关系的.还是严格要求比较好了.我写的是的确不好的.

自己觉得用模版,显得逻辑性好些了,但是自己写的部分还很肤浅,还要慢慢提高实力.

你的文章很好呀,其中很多词我还不会用.

我以后会把新写的作文贴出来,希望多多指教.

曾经沧海难为水

have you seen my second reply?

frank1985

曾经沧海难为水，问一下你是不是上过新东方阿，杨烨老师教的吧

呵呵，我写作文的模式几乎和你一模一样

fariycat

quote

" have you seen my second reply?" sure ,and i had already  replyed it  in 第 21 楼  .thanks.