小女子的第一篇独立作文 求修改~~~

堇色锦瑟

是OG162的题目：Do famous athletes and entertainers deserve high salaries?
因为是第一篇，所以写的时候没有掐时间。
正文如下：

The controversy whether famous athletes and entertainers deserve higher salaries than others has been discussed heatedly by the public. Views on this issue seem to be divergent. Some people maintain that these celebrities don't deserve what they earned in that most of them become affluent just by good luck. Others, however, hold the opposite attitude. As far as I am concerned, famous athletes and entertainers deserve high salaries, especially based on the reasons below.

To begin with, those famous athletes and entertainers earn more because they have dedicated more. When it refers to athletes and entertainers, what comes to our mind firstly are always their medals and rewards. But it is our negligence that makes us fail to acknowledge their great talent and striking diligence that contribute to their honors. According to a well-known Chinese saying, stated as one-minute show on the stage is resulted from ten-year hardworking, their achievements rest properly on their endeavor. A notable case in point is the experience of Chinese gymnasts. They are chosen at a very young age, approximately four or five, to be trained with hard work. This is not easy.

Besides what they have been through before their success, pressure, due to increasing exposure to fierce competition and all-rounded public comments, is also an undeniable fact that makes high salaries reasonable for them. For instance, economic benefits drive some media and paparazzi, in the name of curiosity, to explore celebrities with their life and background, which always lead to violation of their privacy.

Furthermore, huge enthusiasm and demand of audience and spectators for the performances provided by famous athletes and entertainers may account for the rationality of their high salaries. Though criticism on the ever high ticket price of the vocal concerts of Faye Wong, a famous Chinese singer, is still around us, the zero vacancy concerts indicate that her fans are more than willing to pay for their idol's high salary.

Queries on the reasonableness of famous athletes' and entertainers' appropriate returns, in accordance with their efforts, cannot be substantiated as well as that on itself. In conclusion, I cling to the idea that they deserve high salaries because, with their natural gift, they exert their attempts, keep struggling in overwhelming stress and enjoy popularity among those who admire and get fascinated with them.

一些表达存在严重的Chinglish情节；为达到句式的复杂性，长短句交错、复杂简单句搭配的原则已被我忽略殆尽，且自己不忍心下手改掉吐血写的长句子。还有在写作过程中对于famous athletes and entertainers的处理，用了celebrities又不敢重复太多，用指示代词又只是不清o(╯□╰)o
求指导~~~谢谢大家~~~

dieselmaxii

第一句话就不对吧。。。The controversy of whether...

堇色锦瑟

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