帮忙修改两个句子

xkfy0521

1.In order to improve you toefl mark, one thing you can do is working hard.

2.The more time you spend on toefl, the less distant you will reach  success.

帮忙改下，谢谢了！

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-4-28 11:24:40编辑过]

hoodzhj

改什么？ 改错？ 还是改说法？

我觉得第一句应该是in order to improve your toefl mark, one thing you can do is to work hard  or  what you should do is to work hard

第二句的distant是楼主笔误？应该是distance吧

也许改成the less distance there is between you and sucess 呵呵 小弟浊见

xkfy0521

把句子改得通顺，无语法错误。。。

谢谢了，偶想第二句可能会有更好的改法吧？

linlin315

1.In order to improve you toefl mark, one thing you can do is working hard.

In order to improve your toefl score, the one thing you can do is to work hard.

xkfy0521

谢谢了，第二句呢？

linlin315

2.The more time you spend on toefl, the less distant you will reach  success.

感觉more time和你后面的没什么联系吧！不太明白你的意思，如果一定要改

The more time you spend on toefl, the higher score you get.或者The more time you spend on toefl, the more you get repaid.

或者：It is the high score that can shorten the way you will go to achieve your success.

hoodzhj

楼主是说花时间在托福上越多， 距考托福成功的距离就越短呗 霍霍

xkfy0521

第二句偶是想知道“花越多时间，离成功越近”怎么表达，

主要是想知道后半句怎么表达。。。

非常感谢斑竹linlin315！！！