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官方顺序 topic1 university

Education is a valuble investment in yourself, in your future, and in your future career earnings. Recently, education issue has been a hot bill. Some people would like to attend the university, while others prefer to get into the society without having the high education. Definitly speaking, I opt to participate in the university education.

Firstly, participating in the university will make a prepare for your future career. It is universally acknowledged that the job maket is so competitive that a student without a diplima and true ability cannot find a job easily. I believe that what education is to a person what wings are to birds. Withour wings, birds can certainly suvive, but they cannot hover in the blue sky. So is the man. Knowledge will be provided to us systemically and efficiently. Thus, the university education can make us better challege in society.

Secondly, it is in the university that we can make much more friends, which will benefit you in not only career but also in living. Take me for example, I made many sincere friends when I worked for the Student Union. Joe, one of my best friend, is a hard-working person and good at carefully study. However, I am sociable boy and can deal with  interpersonal issue easily and properly. We help and learn from each other, making the so-called win-win.

Thirdly, varieties of experience will be offered to us, if we choose to study in the university. It is the first time for the majority of us to be independent in the university. We should make our decision on which course should you choose and we must be adamant
when we were treated unfairly. Also, we should learn how to get along with with our classmates from all over the country. All we experienced will contribute to a colorful life, which can be a impressive and unforgetable memory, isn't it?

From what we has been dicussed about, we may safely draw the conclusion that attending university is an experience every students should have.

strawberry99

Tony教授修改 (Tony教授的英语教室 www.tonyjiaoshou.com)

Education is a valuble investment in yourself, in your future, and in your future career earnings. Recently, education issue has been a hot bill. Some people would like to attend the university, while others prefer to get into the society without having the high education. Definitly speaking, I opt to participate in the university education.


Firstly, (attending university is a preparation for one’s future career.) participating in the university will make a prepare for your future career. It is universally acknowledged that the job maket is so competitive that a student without a diplima and true ability cannot find a job easily. I believe that what education is to a person (is) what wings are to birds. Withour wings, birds can certainly suvive, but they cannot hover in the blue sky. (The same rule applies to us.) So is the man. Knowledge will be provided to us systemically and efficiently. Thus, the university education can make us (adapt) better (to challenges) challege in society.


Secondly, it is in the university that we can make much more friends, which will benefit you in not only career but also in (life.) living. Take me for example, I made many sincere friends when I worked for the Student Union. Joe, one of my best friend, is a hard-working person and good at (studying.) carefully study. However, I am sociable boy and can deal with interpersonal issue(s) easily and properly. We help and learn from each other, making the so-called win-win.


Thirdly, varieties of experience will be offered to us, if we choose to study in the university. It is the first time for the majority of us to be independent(.) in the university. We should make our decision on which course (to choose and voice out when we feel that we have been treated unfairly.) should you choose and we must be adamant when we were treated unfairly. Also, we should learn how to get along with with our classmates from all over the country. (Everything we experience will) All we experienced will contribute to a colorful life, which can be a impressive and unforgetable memory(.), isn't it?


From what (has been) we has been dicussed (above) about, we may safely draw the conclusion that attending university is an experience every students (student) should have.


Pay more attention to spellings.Use ‘one, he/she’ instead of ‘you’.One or two sentences need to be improved.

Rating: 3.5



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luyao19890

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