[求助]选了个简单的题目第一次练习，请同志们帮忙批改一下，谢谢

常青藤clq

第一篇习作，就选了篇简单的先写

167. Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy — computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.

28分钟限时完成，初稿很差，然后自己改了3次，以下是成品

请各位大侠帮忙批改一下，尽可能多地挑出错误。谢谢，再次感激不尽！

With th increasing prevalence of computers, books, as a traditional paper media has been challenged by the electrical media. When it comes to the problem how to spend the funds of our school, a great number of people will prop up spending the money on books for our library, while the others may buttress investing them in buying computers for students. As far as I am concerned, I will take the side with the latter one. Among countless factors which may influence my decision, there are three conspicuous aspects as follows.

Above all, the vital ingredient reason why I think buying computers for students is more helpful is that computer works much faster than book does. For instance, a student can get informations, for which he or her may spends a whole day in referring to books, just only in one or half an hour from computer. As the technology move on, the CPU rate has increased a lot. As the manufactures add the cache to the mainboard, the computers can complete work more quickly. So when studing or working, with a computer, a student can save much more time. And since time is quite important to students, investing money in buying computer will be better.

Further more,  computers not only can work faster, but also can store more files than books can. Give a simple example that a computer could store 128G files which might take a full shelf of books to involve. For this reason, storing informations with computers, rather than with books, can save more room.

In addition to above advantages, students can surf on Internet with computers as well. Not only can they learn knowledge about their courses, but also can they get plentiful useful  informations, such as national news and outland news, from the Internet.What is more, with the help of Internet, students can make friends with others who are far away from and even with students of forgein countries just by taping the keyboard.

Of course, it is true that books, as a traditional basic media, can enrich the knowledge of students and give them profound education. However, to students, computers will be more useful than books, for the reasons,which are obvious to us, that computers can do students a favor to touch the outland and communicate with others over long distance, along with expanding their horizon and improve their knowledge. Therefore, spending funds on computers will be worked out to be a wiser choice.

[此贴子已经被作者于2009-1-9 17:32:00编辑过]