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时间不多，做个大致修改。我目前时间也不多了，6月初有CFA level 1，要拼命学习了。上网的时间不会太多，我其实不算是高人，我希望以后有别的高人来帮你改作文。希望你考试取得好成绩 
Famous entertainers and athletes have become so influential during the decades. Some of them try their best to set good examples for the young to follow, while others would like to use their reputation to earn as much money as possible. Yao Ming, a well-known basketball player in the world, is obviously the former one. If I get a chance to meet a famous entertainer or athlete in the world, I would choose him without hesitation.
Famous entertainers and athletes have become so influential for decades. Some of them use their reputation to earn as much money as possible, while some of them have tried their best to set good examples. Yao Ming, a well-known basketball player in the world, is obviously one of the good examples whom I would choose to meet without hesitation if I got any chance.
From my perspective, no one can deny that Yao Ming is a talented basketball player. As one of the most powerful player in the NBA(National Basketball Association), Yao Ming shows the world his ability to conquer all difficulties. Actually he was the No.1 pick in the year he entered into the League. A multitude of people tried to test him, such as Shaq Oneal or other famous players at that period of time. Fortunately, Yao achieved a great success in his rookie year. Diligent and responsible as he is, he never disappoint his coach or his Rockets team fellows.
No one can deny that Yao Ming is a talented basketball player. As one of the most powerful players in the NBA, Yao Ming has demonstrated to the world his ability of conquering difficulties in all kinds of situations. Actually in the year when he joined the League, he was the No. 1 pick and was challenged by a multitude of people, such as Shaq Oneal or other famous players. Fortunately, Yao achieved a great success in his rookie year. Diligent and responsible as he is, he has never disappointed his coach or his Rockets team fellows.
No only an all-star player as he is , Yao is also an ambassador between the U.S and the People's Republic of China. Millions of Chinese began to watch NBA games when Yao went to the U.S, most of whom dream to play in the NBA League in the future, being as competitive and capable as Yao is.。
Consequently, people came to study English much harder, eagerly know more about lifestyles in the U.S. On the other hand (是用来表示对立转折的), Yao exhibited some Chinese traditions to the world, such as diligence and hardwording 重复意思. Many of the Americans began to adore him and thus will unavoidable learn from him. That will certainly strengthen the relationship between the two countries if people can understand each other better.
Not only is he an all-star player, but also an ambassador between the U.S and the People's Republic of China. Millions of Chinese…..我不太明白这句话你所表达的意思，所以不知道应该怎么改比较。Consequently, people came to study English much harder, hungry for more about U.S. Yao has also exhibited to the world merits of a Chinese, such as friendliness, diligence and perseverance etc. Many of the Americans begin to adore him and will gradually learn from him. It will certainly strengthen the relationship between the two countries if people can understand each other better.
All in all, being such an excellent player and a kind ambassador, Yao
could never be replaced by any celebrity in my life. Hence, I would choose no one but Yao Ming to meet with if I have that precious chance.
All in all, being such an excellent player and a kind ambassador, Yao can never be replaced by any celebrity in my heart. I would choose no one but Yao Ming to meet with if I could have that precious chance.
另外在叙事性的文章，散文里面，我个人认为用太多
Hence, therefore, thus 反而会使文章显得很奇怪很做作。 | 
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发表于 2008-4-24 22:27:00
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