小弟托福作文第一次练习求批!!

qiaoenjeff

小弟托福作文第一次练习,基本是按照时间写的,基础差,心里有数,主要是想请广大前辈在结构上给我看看,怎么改进,我在次先谢过了...

题目是OG里的PRACTICE
第一题是综合,第二题是问young adults live with partens 的

qiaoenjeff

This lecture is mainly discussing about altruism. The professor's ideas about the altrusim are defened opposite with reading material.
First of all, the professor states that the meerkat which is a mammal that has a guard when others are hunt for food. The professor says that the guard usually doing their job after eating while the reading passage says the individual who will be the guard can't eat any food.
More over, the professor says the guard also can escape first when it see a predator, however the hunting job is more dangerous than being a guard. On the other side, the reading passage has the totally opposite view with professor; it says the guard is a dangerous job.
Finally, the professor gives his point of view about the altruism in human's world. He gives a example that people donate their blood to others seems couldn't get any benefit. However, they can get appreciation from others as well as society. While in the reading passage, it states the donator hardly to get any kind of reward for their altruism act.
In conclusion, the professor doesn't believe the ideas about altruism which stated in reading material.

qiaoenjeff

Young adults who have just become an adult usually have some problems with their parents as well as the life style they want to live. Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as they could. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. In my opinion, being independence as soon as possible is better for a young adult.
  Young adults are the people who just graduate Form College or high school. They should have had the ability to live by themselves, instead of live with their parents. School should have gave them the enough training about life, so they can take care of themselves. They don't have to live with their parents. If not, living independence also can give a chance to those young adult gaining their life experience. This kind of experience is more important than the knowledge which school taught. You can learn lots from the life itself. For example, if you are a young adult who live independent. You must cook by yourself as well as doing the housework by yourself. Although these day affairs look boring and meaningless, however, they are really important for people to live in this world. There is a report from TV, it said many young couples divorsd just because both them don't know how to do housework. Isn’t so sad that the marriage is threatened because the young adults don't have the ability to live by themselves? But that is true, so in my point of view, the young adults should live independent.
   on the other hand, live with parents not only lose a chance to gain own life experience, but also give a pressure to their parents .Because live with parents must cost them some money for food ,electricity as well as parents attention. Most parents of young adults, they are older than 50 years old, they might still need to work in order to keep the expense for whole family. But they are not young any more; their body condition doesn't allowed them to work that hard. In some cases, parents have to work harder to support their children after they have already graduated. That is a shame for the young adults. Parents have done too much for us, there is no excuse to keep them work for us. They should enjoy their own retired life.
   In a word, I think young adults live independent is better than live with their parents.