第三篇(第三段已重写13楼,盼德克再看看),请德克及大家拍拍

superboy2008

您是女生吧      本人最喜欢改女生的文章  已经改过三十来个了    但网上改文章  呼  这还是头一次

再送您个结尾 

In conclusion, if young people want to attain accomplishment in the life, the capability of planning and organizing is an indispensable skill in the competition society which should be developed from their childhood.

改成

In general conclusion , the capability of planning and organzing definitely will be an indispensable skill which should be developed in the early stage of people's life if they want to achieve accomplishment later in their  adult life .

 

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-8-21 15:31:43编辑过]

德克的猪

For one thing, a much wider range of complicated tasks surround us than ever before, requiring a comprehensive capacity of planning and organizing if we ever want(attempt) to succeed in current competitive world(你这句子没有完整的结构.requiring应该改为requires). Taking my own experience as a case in this point is probably sufficient to demonstrate the importance of this skill(就用it will suffice to mention就够了,简单明了.你的太纠结了) Last month , me and my other two classmates(应该是two of my classmates and I) had to finish a research paper and we were only given six days by our professor(不错,够具体.如果写出what research就好了). At the first glance, this target seemed a little bit too far for us to reach(还是太纠结了,改为beyond our attainment), but we did not retreat. Through careful(形容plan, elaborate好很多) planning and organizing, we firstly anatomized the paper, then divided it into several parts, specified the job for each of us, and lastly completed the paper before the due time(dead line). It really excited us looking like we did something impossible(这个句子绝对有语病), but the essence(quintessence也不错) beneath this incidence is that planning and organizing played a enormous role in our success this time, from the very beginning to the final end. Thus, planning and organizing is not only a skill we have to master in this rapidly changing world, but also a quality we ought to possess for a better life and a more successful career.

你有个巨大的问题,namely,在标点之前打空格.这是不对的.空格应该在逗号和句号之后打.

jiyuztc

听德克的话,重写了第三段,麻烦德克再看看.

In addition, the capability to plan and organize is a skill a leader has to master if he wants to success in his work. In a big company, the leader has to be confronted with a multitude of tasks, such as reading the reporter, searching related materials, every day. Then, for him, it is necessary to plan those tasks well and distribute them to employees. Simultaneously, he has the responsibility to organize the employees to complete the tasks and coordinate the relationship among them. Eventually, he should supervise the speed of their work. Only via planning and organizing the complicated tasks, can the leader finish them well in the due time. Consequently, the ability to plan and organize, to some extent, is a basic skill of a successful leader.

superboy2008

不愧是德克版主  眼光犀利  改得我十分痛快   说实话这些错误 给我个十分钟检查 我自己最多只能查些拼写和主，谓，宾，之类的，有些替换我是想不到的

 打空格的问题 真是谢谢您了

by the way, are you really a high school student?   if so, how long have you been studing English?       or are you just a native?

德克的猪

以下是引用superboy2008在2007-8-21 16:36:00的发言：

不愧是德克版主  眼光犀利  改得我十分痛快   说实话这些错误 给我个十分钟检查 我自己最多只能查些拼写和主，谓，宾，之类的，有些替换我是想不到的

 打空格的问题 真是谢谢您了

by the way, are you really a high school student?   if so, how long have you been studing English?       or are you just a native?

其实我也就是一个重庆的高中生

在今年准备出国之前也没有特别的学习英语(我小学没有学过英语)

jiyuztc

第三段重写了,在13楼.德克帮忙再看看吧