[求助]issue 45 求拍

gaosi107

13号就要考了，作文只练了5，6篇，实在心里没底，这篇是昨天刚写的，希望各位大牛指点以及更正，再帮忙看看如果这个水平，到了考场能拿到大概什么样的分数呢？ 谢谢！！

What is the most effective way for a businessperson to maximize profits over a long period of time? Some people hold the view that the best solution for the long-term goal is to follow the highest standards of ethics. Although there are some other factos which also critical such as creativity and productivity, I still agree with the author and believe that high standards of ethics help companies to achieve a success in the long run. Further analysis will be discussed as follows:

 

To begin with, ethics in high standards will help a company to build a good image to the public, which is very pivotal to arouse brand awareness necessary to survive from fierce competition in business.  For example,  the nongfu mineral water company, which is considered the best of this field in Chinese mineral water market, announced that for each bottle of mineral water sold to consumers, it would donate 0.01 RMB to help build elementary schools in the remote and rural areas. Although such a policy, to some extent, violated  the profitability in the short term, the company could still gain a larger market share after successfully building a kind and generous image. And this has even higher a positive effect for the company than advertizing would have instead.

 

Secondly, in our modern society, citizens are more and more concerned with their qualities of life, requiring a higher standards of healthy and secure way of consumption. We can easily judge that most of successful companies are inclined to emphasize their high ethical standards by any means.  For example, when Dell company found that there was a slight possibility that batteries of laptops it manufactured had a danger of causing fire. So Dell decided to call back all of the batteries it had sold and promised to change a safer one for its clients. This clearly shows that how a big company values the importance of ethics. Whether images of a product in consumers are good or not directly decide the profitability a company could achieve.

 

However, others might argue that other factors such as creativity , productivity or even advertising are also quite important for the maximization of profits for a businessman. As far as I am concerned, these factors are, actually,more important for  a company's short-term profits.  Attractive advertisement , of course, could impress audience and thus might do good to profitabily. However, in the long term, the key to success is, as I mentioned above, the consumers' attitude towards a product. And none of those factors could achieve it in a rather long period.

 

In conclusion, in order to achieve a firm success and manage to survive from the competitive market, to follow the highest standards of ethics is the best solution. Although in short-terms this policy might hamper the company from earning more and might take a rather long time to change these efforts to real profits, it is still more effective than those short-term strategies such as advertising because it spread out a firm and good image to the public.

gaosi107

自己顶一下...

rio

以下是引用gaosi107在2007-8-2 12:04:00的发言：

13号就要考了，作文只练了5，6篇，实在心里没底，这篇是昨天刚写的，希望各位大牛指点以及更正，再帮忙看看如果这个水平，到了考场能拿到大概什么样的分数呢？ 谢谢！！

What is the most effective way for a businessperson to maximize profits over a long period of time? Some people hold the view that the best solution for the long-term goal is to follow the highest standards of ethics. Although there are some other factos which (are) also critical such as creativity and productivity, I still agree with the author and believe that high standards of ethics help companies to achieve a success in the long run. Further analysis will be discussed as follows:

To begin with, ethics in high standards will help a company to build a good image to the public, which is very pivotal to arouse brand awareness necessary to survive from fierce competition in business.  For example,  the nongfu(Nongfu) mineral water company, which is considered the best of this field in Chinese mineral water market, announced that for each bottle of mineral water sold to consumers, it would donate 0.01 RMB to help build elementary schools in the remote and rural areas. Although such a policy, to some extent, violated  the profitability in the short term, the company could still gain a larger market share after successfully building a kind and generous image. And this has even higher a positive effect for the company than advertizing would have instead.

(很好的例子!!!)

(很好的例子!!!)

Secondly, in our modern society, citizens are more and more concerned with their qualities of life, requiring a higher standards of healthy and secure way of consumption. We can easily judge that most of successful companies are inclined to emphasize their high ethical standards by any means.  For example, when Dell company found that there was a slight possibility that batteries of laptops it manufactured had a danger of causing fire. So Dell decided to call back all of the batteries it had sold and promised to change a safer one for its clients. This clearly shows that how a big company values the importance of ethics. Whether images of a product in consumers are good or not directly decide the profitability a company could achieve.

However, others might argue that other factors such as creativity , productivity or even advertising are also quite important for the maximization of profits for a businessman. As far as I am concerned, these factors are, actually,more important for  a company's short-term profits.  Attractive advertisement , of course, could impress audience and thus might do good to profitabily. However, in the long term, the key to success is, as I mentioned above, the consumers' attitude towards a product. And none of those factors could achieve it in a rather long period.

In conclusion, in order to achieve a firm success and manage to survive from the competitive market, to follow the highest standards of ethics is the best solution. Although in short-terms this policy might hamper the company from earning more and might take a rather long time to change these efforts to real profits, it is still more effective than those short-term strategies such as advertising because it spread out a firm and good image to the public.

个别主谓一致,单复数注意一下

另外，你的文章思路很清晰，举例很到位，保持下去。很好。

gaosi107

恩，谢谢！～