好久没写了，求拍作文~

qianrene

4. It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? 

We human beings learn knowledge through various media such as books, experiences and electronic media as well, however the most important methods are two: one is from experience and the other is from books. Some people may find it efficient to learn from the experience, while others may consider reading a multitude of books be the best way to equip themselves with knowledge. From my perspective, the experience is more real and more impressive. One can learn from his own experience and also from other's valuable lessons.

Experience happens everyday, every hour, and even every minute, so definitely it's real and more impressive. The events you come across can contribute to the system of experiences, and your new experiences add up to the older ones, which can construct the whole way of solving problems by experience. Because the experience is something having a close relationship with the witnesses and the person who are going through it, it will have a profound impression on the minds of that person. He or she will remember the details, the causes and  the consequences of that experience, sometimes will also comes to an conclusion for the further solution for guiding the deeds.For example, once a child has been burned by the hot water from the thermo-kettle, this disaster will give him a warning that this object is fairly dangerous, so for the long periods afterwards, he will avoid touching the thermo-kettle, because its his experience tells and warns him of the pathetic memory he has been through.

Experiences are ubiquitous, one can learn from them everywhere. We can learn the experience of our own or of somebody else. So its convenient to form our judgment from the experiences. As for me, I concentrated on my academic study when I was in university. In order to improve my ability to perform well and get a good grade, I observe other excellent students, learning their methods of study, imitating their study habits, and borrowing their schedule plans. Indeed, I ve learn a lot  from experiences of other people, since I can't figure all the strategies by myself in such short term. Besides, I always have my own experiences, I will achieve a conclusion taking into my own consideration, For example, when my friends take for granted that it is good to stay late at night studying, I insist that getting up early and going to bed early are beneficial to my health and so as to my mental function, if I keep my health in a good condition, I will cost less energy to read the same amount of materials, the relationship between study and health is interactive. So, as you can see, I applied my own experience into my schedule and opinion.

To sum up, I think the experiences are more important than the books, since experiences can help people understand thoroughly and comprehensively and are more accessible. I recommend experiences to be a better way of learning.

Word Count: 471

德克的猪

占了沙发

明天有空再改

qianrene

以下是引用德克的猪在2007-7-31 22:20:00的发言：

占了沙发

明天有空再改

谢谢德克，还给我留个板凳

rio

这么晚还没睡

qianrene

5555被打入冷宫了

miyako31

    

个人的一点建议，第一段

We human beings learn knowledge through various media(media改成sources) such as books, experiences（这个词用得混乱，名词单复数全篇要统一，作者要在细节上下功夫啊） and electronic media as well(and, as well不能一起用), however （however 后面要有逗号）the most important methods are two（the most important
two ways are比较顺） : one is （to
learn）from（变换用via） experience and the other is from books. Some people may find it
efficient to learn from the experience（the 表特指不能瞎用，下同）, while others may consider reading a multitude of books be（本句话consider 和be都是谓语！删掉be） the best way to equip themselves with knowledge. From my
perspective, the experience is more real and more impressive. One can learn
from his own experience and also from other's valuable lessons（整句话：One learns lessons in life from his own experience and other people’s
as well）.

德克的猪

We human beings learn knowledge through various media(medium,媒介) such as books, experiences and electronic media as well(as well是不是有点多余),(这里应该是一个句号,however不可以用来连接两个句子) however(我这里不明白你为何要用一个however,这里并没有转折的关系.我建议你说we can divide our methods to obtain new knowledge into two main kinds
            the most important methods are two: one is (obtaining knowledge) from experience and the other is from books. Some people may find it efficient to learn from the experience, while others may consider reading a multitude of books be(consider A B这是固定的搭配,所以不用be) the best way to equip themselves with knowledge(我觉得这句完全是废话). From my perspective, the experience is more real(何为more real?改为more vivid/authentic吧) and more(more adj and adj,所以这里的一个more是没有必要的) impressive. One can learn from his own experience and also from other's valuable lessons.

Experience happens everyday(何为experience happens?), every hour, and even every minute, so definitely it's(it is分开!) real and more impressive(我觉得,我们无时无刻不获得experience和experience是real and impressive没有逻辑关系). The events you come across can contribute to the system of experiences, and your new experiences add up(accumulate/amass) to the older ones, which can construct the whole way(methodology因为这里是解决问题的方式,所以可以用methodology这个词汇,远比way高级) of solving problems by(by太抽象,你可以说via the help of) experience. Because the experience is something having a close relationship with the witnesses and the person who are(person应该对应is) going through it, it will have a profound impression(someone’s impression on sth is profound是可以的,这里最好说impresses,如果要用名词,也最好用exerts impression on) on the minds of that person. He or she(s/he) will remember the details, the causes and  the consequences of that experience, sometimes will also comes to an conclusion for the further solution for guiding the deeds. For example, once a child has been burned by the hot water from the thermo-kettle, this disaster(disaster加引号,这样表示是一个小小的夸张) will give him a warning that this object is fairly dangerous, so for the long periods afterwards, he will avoid touching the thermo-kettle-its(it is) his experience tells and warns him of the pathetic memory he has been through.(你需要证明的是:哪个重要,所以,需要有结合对比.而在该段的论述中没有得到体现.)

Experiences are ubiquitous(我以前使用这个单词说过,它有<泛滥>的意思,所以,你最好还是用universal), one can learn from them everywhere(表达不地道,这里我也还没有想出来如何表达,或许可以说our experiences grow in the process of achieving our goals.). We can learn the experience of our own or of somebody else. So(用consequently, therefore, hence) its convenient to form our judgment from the experiences. As for me, I concentrated on my academic study when I was in university. In order to improve my ability to perform well and get a good grade, I observe(observe?这里应该是I observe other excellent students’ ways to cope with different problems.应该是observe sth,如果是observe sb,就是观察某人,读起来像你的观察一个实验品) other excellent students, learning their methods of study, imitating their study habits, and borrowing their schedule plans. Indeed, I ve learn a lot  from experiences of other people, since I can't(不要连写!!!拆开!!!) figure all the strategies by myself in such short term. Besides, I always have my own experiences and(两个句子需要用and来连接) I will achieve a conclusion taking into my own consideration. For example, when my friends take for granted that it is good to stay late at night studying, I insist that getting up early and going to bed early are beneficial to my health and so as to my mental function, if I keep my health in a good condition, I will cost less energy to read the same amount of materials, the relationship between study and health is interactive. So, as you can see, I applied my own experience into my schedule and opinion.

To sum up, I think(拜托,为何还在用I think?这里可以说I bolster the statement that,我支持) the experiences are more important than the books, since experiences can help people understand thoroughly and comprehensively and are more accessible. I recommend experiences to be a better way of learning(这句可能有点多余).

(论述,需要有对比,我觉得你没有说明经验如何比书本只是重要.这篇文章,你写得不是很好.以后不要再有任何的can’t, hasn’t, haven’t, isn’t这类的连写出现,统统拆开!!!)

qianrene

谢谢德版，好多红色哦，我漫漫看5555

qianrene

以下是引用miyako31在2007-8-2 13:41:00的发言：

 

个人的一点建议，第一段

We human beings learn knowledge through various media(media改成sources) such as books, experiences（这个词用得混乱，名词单复数全篇要统一，作者要在细节上下功夫啊） and electronic media as well(and, as well不能一起用), however （however 后面要有逗号）the most important methods are two（the most important
two ways are比较顺） : one is （to
learn）from（变换用via） experience and the other is from books. Some people may find it
efficient to learn from the experience（the 表特指不能瞎用，下同）, while others may consider reading a multitude of books be（本句话consider 和be都是谓语！删掉be） the best way to equip themselves with knowledge. From my
perspective, the experience is more real and more impressive. One can learn
from his own experience and also from other's valuable lessons（整句话：One learns lessons in life from his own experience and other people’s
as well）.

谢谢楼上的MM给的意见