发一篇我写的ISSUE请大家指点

Nathenial

一战我的作文只有3.5分，但是我很用心的装备的，很郁闷，不知道什么原因。不久就要二战了，心里很没有底，看机经写了一篇ISSUE，还希望大家不林赐教，谢谢！

99. “If a nation is to ensure its own economic success, it must maintain a highly competitive educational system in which students compete among themselves and against students from other countries.”

Nowadays, when we talk about how to ensure a nation's economic success in terms of competition among students, different people may have different opinions due to their distinctive angles. On the one hand, as is well-established and agreed by the author, some people agree that a highly competitive educational system is needed to make students compete among themselves and against students from other countries. On the other hand, other people may hold the opposite opinion. We should not have to look very far to arrive at the valid standpoint. In my opinion, I totally agree with the author that one nation should establish a highly competitive educational system to make their students compete with both the domestic and foreign students. I will provide concrete example and reasons in the following discussion.

 

The first reason that can be hold to support my opinion is that only in a highly competitive educational system, can students make their best to work hard. Because when a student is put in a competitive system, he or she may feel anxious about the performance. If he or she does not work hard, the student will definitely be repelled out the group. So under this pressure condition, a student will try to work much harder, think much deeper, discuss much more with teachers and classmates. I can think of no better illustration than an example of mine. When I was in the middle school, I can always get the first grade in my class even if I did not work very hard, so I was reluctant to study more. Later then, our school collected all the best students from each class including me and we the new group study together. In this highly competitive environment, I work much harder than ever because even if I word very hard, I can not get a good place in the new class. So a highly competitive environment will make everyone study much harder.

 

The second reason than can be represented to support my view is that a highly competitive educational can also make the nation to select the better group students to further their study in university or graduate school. In China, for example, there are a lot of high school students each year and of course, the university can not accommodate so many students. But a highly competitive educational system can select the best students to go to University, making the limited resource of education more efficient.

Admittedly, sometimes it may be true that highly competitive educational system can bring some negative effect to some students and make them lose their heart in doing other things. However, I believe that this kind of things are rare in fact. When we compare both the disadvantages and advantages of a highly competitive educational system, I think everybody will agree with my striking opinion.

 

In a word, a nation should establish a highly competitive educational system in order to make their students work hard and to select the best students to further their study. As the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, I feel quite comfortable to arrive at my conclusion.

rio

以下是引用Nathenial在2007-7-28 11:15:00的发言：

一战我的作文只有3.5分，但是我很用心的装备的，很郁闷，不知道什么原因。不久就要二战了，心里很没有底，看机经写了一篇ISSUE，还希望大家不林赐教，谢谢！

99. “If a nation is to ensure its own economic success, it must maintain a highly competitive educational system in which students compete among themselves and against students from other countries.”

Nowadays, when we talk about how to ensure a nation's economic success in terms of competition among students, different people may have different opinions due to their distinctive angles. On the one hand, as is well-established and agreed by the author, some people agree that a highly competitive educational system is needed to make students compete among themselves and against students from other countries. On the other hand, other people may hold the opposite opinion. We should not have to look very far to arrive at the valid standpoint. In my opinion, I totally agree with the author that one nation should establish a highly competitive educational system to make their students compete with both the domestic and foreign students. I will provide concrete example and reasons in the following discussion.

The first reason that can be hold to support my opinion is that only in a highly competitive educational system, can students make their best to work hard. Because when a student is put in a competitive system, he or she may feel anxious about the performance. If he or she does not work hard, the student will definitely be repelled out the group. So under this pressure condition, a student will try to work much harder, think much deeper, discuss much more with teachers and classmates. I can think of no better illustration than an example of mine. When I was in the middle school, I can always get the first grade in my class even if I did not work very hard, so I was reluctant to study more. Later then, our school collected all the best students from each class including me and we the new group study together. In this highly competitive environment, I work much harder than ever because even if I word very hard, I can not get a good place in the new class. So a highly competitive environment will make everyone study much harder.

The second reason than can be represented to support my view is that a highly competitive educational can also make the nation to select the better group students to further their study in university or graduate school. In China, for example, there are a lot of high school students each year and of course, the university can not accommodate so many students. But a highly competitive educational system can select the best students to go to University, making the limited resource of education more efficient.

Admittedly, sometimes it may be true that highly competitive educational system can bring some negative effect to some students and make them lose their heart in doing other things. However, I believe that this kind of things are rare in fact. When we compare both the disadvantages and advantages of a highly competitive educational system, I think everybody will agree with my striking opinion.

In a word, a nation should establish a highly competitive educational system in order to make their students work hard and to select the best students to further their study. As the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, I feel quite comfortable to arrive at my conclusion.

看完了 你的作文很朴实,这没坏处,不过要注意基本的语法和搭配错误.

比最后一段划线部分的句子,就是基本语句的问题.

所以尽量改正基本的错误,就没问题了

Nathenial

谢谢版主