[求助]TWE172 我写的第二篇托福作文,拜托大家修改.

Patience

觉得自己的词汇量很少.在写的时候也经常查字典. 而且结构似乎也不好.这两天才开始练习,望大家多提宝贵意见.

在写此文中经常用到may,could,望高人赐教用什么句法或词语来替换. Problem除了用issue, 还可用什么词或短语替换. advise, solution的替换.字典中都查不到啊.

谢谢了!

TWE172题目: When student move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. How can schools help these students with their problem? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

我的不成器的写作:

When students move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. From my perspective, school should assume the responsibility of assisting students to get out of these problems. Here are some measures I recommend:

 

One of the most effective measures is to organize orientation session with students, like distributing Student Handbook, assigning school administrative stuff to tutor new comers with school tradition, mission; helping them to get aware of school policy; touring around campus to know the location of library, canteen, bookstore, and classroom; professor present instructing on academic requirements. For people invariably feel some kind of helplessness when starting life in a new place, orientation session undoubtedly help new students to be ready on what to do and what to expect.

 

Another suggestion is to set up advising office, equip with ardent, experienced advisor on handling various cases. New student may need academic advice on selecting first year course; formal guidance on how to enroll in school club and organization; financial support on paying tuition and finding part time job; even sometimes social tutoring on inter personal communication.  An advising office offers new student a place to resort to when they in need of support. If possible, schools could invite Psychologists come to advising office on weekly base, by which student have the chance to counsel professions with personal issues.

 

My last suggestion would be peer mutual supporting. For researches discover people find it easy to talk out problems to peers who might have gone through the same situation. School may have encourage newcomers participate in fraternity; arranging senior students talk to new students about their first-year experience, share their solution and advise. International students are those who have more difficulties on language, social custom, an international student union could afford resources of methods.

 

There are multitudes of measure to be considered, school administrator should seek every possible means to resolve new students’ problem, and thus students are able to lay effort on study and research as quickly as possible. A home away from home may be difficult to build, but a healthy learning environment can be constructed by effective administration.

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-17 16:50:46编辑过]

德克的猪

不要太悲观的说。你可以先看看我在写作区上的修改和在iBT区上的写作的帖子，说不定会有启发。
我还弄了一个词汇替换表，在iBT区的那个写作的帖子里边有，你可以参考一下。
表里边的替换需要理解过后使用，不然会出现使用不恰当的情况。那个表可以让你的词汇量看起来很丰富。

Patience

谢谢德克的猪.

请问我举例和文章排版方面是不是也存在问题?比如说举的例子太泛.