[原创]NCE3 59 课文分析

德克的猪

Lesson59 Collecting

 

{墨绿色为原文,红色为分析注解;因为NCE的写作思路和TOEFL可能有出入,所以这里只做语言的分析}

 

 

第一段

People tend to amass possessions, sometimes without being aware of doing so.{People tend to(tend to这个短语可以多用,表示<倾向于,趋向于>.这个短语最好用来形容很多人的一种行为的趋势.因为TOEFL写作的开头,如果没有superstar opening,就需要从general到specific.当general的时候,常常要提到人们当今的行为趋势,所以这个短语很有用,需要掌握使用的方法)
    amass(amass在很多时候可以和accumulate替换,都表示积累,这两个词汇需要掌握,TOEFL考试的高频词,写作也可以多用) possessions, sometimes without being aware of (be aware of的意思是<对…知道>,<对…有意识>,有的情况下可以作为know的同意替换)doing so.}

Indeed they can have a delightful surprise when they find something useful which they did not know they owned.{Indeed(indeed这个词中国学生用的比较的少,但是老外使用的频率还是蛮高的,它的意思是<真正地>,<确实地>,用来加强语气,语境恰当的时候,可以尝试使用) they can have a delightful surprise(这里用delightful来表示<眼前一亮>,这里大家也可以借鉴) when they find something(老外通常用something来指代物,而不是things.这里其实things也是可以的,但是,我们更习惯使用something,所以类似的情况也要注意.) useful which they did not know they owned.}

Those who never have to move house become indiscriminate collectors of what can only be described as clutter. {Those who(因为前面已经提到people,所以这里用those who来指代.这里似乎看起来很简单,但是有的时候我们还是会忍不住用some people/people,这样就显得不简洁了,所以这个需要注意一下) never have to move house become indiscriminate(这个是高级的词汇.意思是<不分青红皂白的,不假思索选择的>;引伸的意思是<没有限制的,放荡的>.这个词汇,可以在你反驳一些人的做法的时候使用,比如:现在家长让孩子很早学英语,你同意不同意.如果你不同意,你要反驳,就可以说arents, currently, tend to coerce their children into learning English at the age of seven or eight frantically and indiscriminately, no matter to what a degree those children can accept the education.这样就用frantically和indiscriminately两个词,表达了自己的反对意见,而避免使用否定词) collectors of what can only be described as clutter.}

They leave unwanted objects in drawers, cupboards and attics for years, in the belief that they may one day need just those very things. {They leave unwanted(不需要的) objects in drawers(leave sth…把什么丢在,放在一边), cupboards and attics for years, in the belief that(in the belief that这个用法很有用,来表示别人的观点的时候经常可以使用,同样举上面学英语的例子:Parents, in the belief that mastering English is of great importance currently, pull their children who are only six or even younger to face the difficult English courses without any hesitation) they may one day need just those very(说<很>的时候,最好不用very,但是这里是说<特殊的>,用very不错) things.}

As they grow old, people also accumulate belongings for two other reasons, lack of physical and mental energy, both of which are essential in turning out and throwing away, and sentiment. {As(用as来表示时光的流逝是不错的,比如:As time fleets) they grow old, people also accumulate(这里果然就出现了amass的同义词accumulate) belongings for two other reasons(陈述原因,for … reasons), lack of physical and mental energy, both of which are essential in turning out and throwing away, and sentiment(感情上的,情感上的).(其实大家不难看出,这课开始的4个句子,其实都不是简单句-新概念上面的东西已经是公认的经典了,在新概念3和4的一些后面的课文中,句子都是不省油的-为了将自己的观点解释说明得更清楚,作者使用的大量的附加插入的说明成分.我觉得这样的写作手法绝对不是将文章复杂化,而是使文章有血有肉,内容更加充实. }

Things owned for a long time are full of associations with the past, perhaps with relatives who are dead, and so they gradually acquire a value beyond their true worth. {Things owned for a long time are full of(这里还给出一个除了be full of和be filled up with的替换.就是be saturated with<饱和了>,有的情况可以当<充满>讲)
    associations with(be associated with/have association with和be related with意思差不多,在很多情况下可以替换,阅读也经常考查) the past, perhaps with relatives who are dead, and so they gradually acquire(acquire是<获得>的意思,可以用来专指获得一个新的属性) a value beyond their true worth(beyond one’s true worth表示<超过自身价值>,这个短语需要掌握,因为在反驳时要经常使用,比如,还是上面的例子的延续:English, as no doubt, is of great importance in this globalizing world. However, now it seems that, a multitude of people have exerted a value on it which is beyond its true worth, from my perspective)}.

 

 

 

 

 

 

第二段

Some things are collected deliberately in the home in an attempt to avoid waste. {Some things are collected deliberately(刻意地,故意地,这个词汇需要掌握) in the home in an attempt to(attempt可以做名词,也可以做动词,都是表示<尝试着想要>,就是try to 和want to意思的结合,可以多用;还有,这里to avoid waste是collect的原因,但是这个句子却没有用表示因果关系的词但是也成功的表示了这个因果的关系,这个也是值得学习的:in+n.+to do来表示目的) avoid waste)}

Among these I would list string and brown paper, kept by thrifty people when a parcel has been opened, to save buying these two requisites. Collecting small items can easily become a mania. {Among these I would list(这里有学会一个引出例子的结构:among … I would list/give) string and brown paper, kept by thrifty(节约的,这个词必须掌握) people when a parcel has been opened, to save buying these two requisites(必需品)(这个句子依旧足够复杂,其实,我们写复杂的句子并不是为了炫耀,而是将几个句子的意思柔和要一起表达出来,这样表达更紧密.如这个句子,如果用简单的结构,就是:For example, when a parcel has been opened, string and brown paper are often kept. Because these people want to save buying these two requisites.这样简单的表达肯定清楚,但是相比之下明显罗唆了.). Collecting small items(item这里的意思是an object of interest) can easily become a mania(狂热).}

I know someone who always cuts sketches out from newspapers of model clothes that she would like to buy if she had the money. {I know someone(someone通常用来表示人,而不是我们习惯用的<you>) who always cuts sketches out from newspapers of model clothes that she would like to buy if she had(这里是虚拟语气,用虚拟语气就是表明某个假设是几乎不能成立的,它的存在仅仅限制于假设.这里的意思就是<她肯定不会有那个钱>) the money.(看来作者是要将长句进行到底)}

As she is not rich, the chances that she will ever be able to afford such purchases are remote; but she is never sufficiently strong-minded to be able to stop the practice. {As she is not rich(我个人比较喜欢用as引导的句子来表达原因,不习惯这样用的同学可以尝试一下), the chances that she will ever be able to afford such purchases are remote(这个句子太经典了!它教会了我们<机会渺茫>如何说-chances are remote.语言也很出色,用will ever更加突出了<不可能>;afford表示承担,使用afford such purchases这个高级的替代避免了can buy such things这样低级的说法,这个句子一定要背下来); but she is never sufficiently(足够地,可以替换enough) strong-minded(合成词,当形容意志如何时,都可以使用这样的合成词,比如:sentimental-minded多愁善感的,competitive-minded有竞争意识的) to be able to stop the practice(practice可以表示行为习惯,惯例,所以有时可以和routine替换).}

It is a harmless habit, but it litters up her desk to such an extent that every time she opens it, loose bits of paper fall out in every direction. {It is a harmless habit, but it litters up her desk to such an extent(当你要夸张描写什么东西的时候,就可以说sth v sth to such an extent that,以表示程度很深,比如:it embarrassed her to such an extent that her face flushed in a second) that every time she opens it, loose bits of paper fall out in every direction(every direction字面上时各个方向,其实意思跟every where差不多的,不过every direction更具体而已).}

德克的猪

第三段

Collecting as a serious hobby is quite different and has many advantages. {Collecting as a serious hobby is quite different and has many advantages.(终于可以松一口气了,第一个这么轻松的句子,居然期盼了2段.不过,还是有东西要提出来:quite可以用fairly替换,advantage可以用merit替换)}

It provides relaxation of leisure hours, as just looking at one’s treasures is always a joy. {It provides relaxation of leisure hours(空闲时间,我还是建议就用这个leisure time/hour而不是中国学生比较常用spare time), as just looking at one’s treasures is always a joy(这里又用了as来表示原因,再次证明用as表原因是很好的用法.还要注意的是,这里使用的名词原则:作者明明可以说is always enjoyable,但是他使用了joy这个名词来替换,这样会高级一些).}

One does not have to go outside for amusement, since the collection is housed at home. {One does not have to go outside for amusement(消遣), since(这里有用一个since来表示原因,体现了语言的多变,表示原因一般可以用for/as/since/because,当然,because是我最不推荐使用的) the collection is housed(be housed是<被收藏>的意思) at home.}

Whatever it consists of, stamps, records, first editions of books, china, glass, antique furniture, pictures, model cars, stuffed birds, toy animals, there is always something to do in connection with it, from finding the right place for the latest addition, to verifying facts in reference books. {Whatever it consists of, stamps, records, first editions of books, china, glass, antique furniture, pictures, model cars, stuffed birds, toy animals, there is always something to do in connection with(in connection with和have association with意思相近,可以替换) it, from finding the right place for the latest addition, to verifying facts in reference books(这个句子的写法是很值得提倡的:如果是一般的同学写,可能写完there is always something to do in connection with it就戛然而止了,这样的句子或者段落,看上去就会感觉很空洞,因为你没有具体的举出<如何…>.但是,这里作者对这个something做出了解释:from finding the right place for the latest addition, to verifying facts in reference books.相当于给出了具体的说明,这样,作者只用了一句话,就表示清楚了收藏的怎么给人们提供amusement).(刚刚才松了一口气,这里狂风暴雨又来了:扩展句子有很多办法,这里的并列是老外比较常用的一种.)}

This hobby educates one not only in the chosen subject, but also in general matters which have some bearing on it. {This hobby educates(通常情况下,我们都习惯用teach来表示教,其实,educate也是个很不错的选择) one not only in the chosen subject, but also in general matters(表示具体的事务<是事务而非事物>时,最好使用这里的matters或者affairs而不是things) which have some bearing on it.}

There are also other benefits. One wants to meet like-minded collectors, to get advice, to compare notes, to exchange articles, to show off the latest find. {There are also other benefits(这里使用一个简单的短句,舒缓一下,做到长短结合.这篇文章绝大多数句子都是有不少的附加说明成分,短距比较少.我个人认为,所谓的长短结合,最好是几个长句子,一两个短句子:毕竟短句子是不容易写出水平的,只起一下舒缓的作用就可以了). One(如果是中国学生,这里八成会写成you.我之前提到过,我们中文中的you,其实是一个泛指,这样的泛指,在英文中最好对应使用one,而不是you.如果进行广泛的阅读,就会发现,老外用you这个概念表示人的时候是不多的,还是用one比较的普遍) wants to meet like-minded(这里再次使用合成词,like-minded,性格喜好类似的) collectors, to get advice, to compare notes, to exchange articles, to show off the latest find.}

So one’s circle of friends grows. {So one’s circle of friends grows. (circle of friends grows,朋友的圈子扩大了,这个表达同样可以移植到别的地方,比如:Via watching some diverse beneficial TV programs, one’s circle of interests grows.长短结合,注意:短句用来表示结果是很不错的,因为它简短而有力). }

Soon the hobby leads to travel, perhaps to a meeting in another town, possibly a trip abroad in search of a rare specimen, for collectors are not confined to any one country. {Soon the hobby leads to(lead to这个用法很好,好在它很有动感,用它来表明一个事物引发另一个事物是很好的) travel, perhaps to a meeting in another town, possibly a trip abroad in search of(名词原则,这里用一个名词代替了to search,记住,虽然在语言上动词肯定比它的名词形式优先,但是写作中,用名词来替换动词和形容词是提升语言的有效技巧) a rare specimen, for collectors are not confined to(be confined to和be limited to是可以替换的) any one country.}

Over the years, one may well become an authority on one’s hobby and will very probably be asked to give informal talks to little gatherings and then, if successful, to larger audiences. {Over the years, one may well become an authority on one’s hobby and will very probably be asked to give informal talks to little gatherings and then, if successful(这样的插入可以多用,至少它使你的句子看起来比较复杂), to larger audiences(如果是中国学生写,就很可能是to audiences,但是,老外这里用了一个little gatherings到larger audiences的渐变,一是使表达更有逻辑,从小到大,二是使表达更加具体:避免了宽泛的一个词<观众>,而用little和larger进行了限制).}

In this way self-confidence grow, first from mastering a subject, then from being able to talk about it. {In this way self-confidence grows(grow这个词在文中出现了两次,都是表示增大的意思,作者只用了grow而没有用increase,想必是grow的动感更强,所以以后大家要表达<增长>时,grow是首选), first from mastering(master当动词将的时候,意思是<熟练掌握>,可以用来替换be good at) a subject, then from being able to talk about it.}

Collecting, by occupying spare time so constructively, makes a person contented, with no time for boredom. {Collecting, by occupying spare time so constructively(constructively,有建设性的/积极向上的,和中文的意思完全一样), makes a person contented(make sb contented,让某人充实,很好的表达), with no time for boredom(这个短语很好,with no time for…这个句子可以用于TOEFL写作的很多方面,比如修电影院:Movie theater, via providing residents in the neighborhood with the latest blockbusters, makes them contented, with no time for boredom).}

 

yumihooo

莫非我抢到了传说中的沙发》》》？？？

satie

前兩天也在讀這課文 還在想此文也不比41差阿~

NCE是好物

德克的猪

必须up

mojieren

Thanks a lot.

oo7

期待下一篇

爱上野ren

小猪准备发多少篇?

joelise

of course up

kemu8018

一定要顶！