6月30日考，请niuniu看看偶的作文（非模版）

rockfish_2003

Whether Government should make more investment on sports or on arts?

 

As a passionate young man, sports, undoubtedly, are one of the most important parts of my life. So much I love sports and exercises, say football or basketball game, that I feel quite uncomfortable if I fail to do them every week. Deeply from heart, however, I regard arts as another key for my life, even more crucial than sports, although I pursue or enjoy them seldom. Here, I want to stress that just because we invariably ignore the importance of arts and even desert them to some degree, government should invest more on arts to evoke the public attention to them.

 

The value of arts for our society is a fairly crucial consideration, as mentioned above. In a fast-developing times, innovation matters to us. It is the innovation that drives the development of science and technology, the revolution of economy and politics, the enhancement of education and health care, which, together, contribute the proceeding of our society and the improving of our life. Arts play a critical role in innovation, or creation. Since ancient Greek times, we know human have two kinds of basic capabilities - creation and reasoning. Meanwhile, we understand creation associates with arts and reasoning with science. That means it is the arts that evoke the nature of creation in human mind. To give a demonstration, Albert Einstein, the most creative human scientist, used to play violin when exploring the quintessence of the universe.

 

Tending to ignore arts is another critical consideration for me to possess this view. At present, we are living in a world full of entertainments - TV, Internet, and movies, etc. Can you remember when you enjoy arts, say a concert, last time? To be honest, compared with these entertainments, arts are less appealing to our eyeballs. Unlike arts, sports, without a doubt, are one of the major entertainments, especially for child and young man. When you are asking a kid about great sports star, s/he may tell you bunches of names - Michael Jordan, David Beckham and so on, but how about the great artists? We could expect a poor answer. Just because of the unacceptable ignorance of arts in public, I strongly hold the view that the government should put more money on the spreading and educating of arts.

 

Someone who is forever extolling the merits of sports may somehow disagree with my perspective. S/he would rather maintain that sports provide us health and entertainment, both of which are necessary. Nevertheless, this is only part of the picture because s/he fails to mention the responsibility of government. I admit that arts and sports both play crucial roles for our life and even our future. However, we have to admit another fact that compared with arts, sports currently have attracted too much attention driven by all kinds of organizations, such as TV stations, NBA, NCCA, FIFA. On the contrary, arts, to some extent, are overlooked due to the lack of economic interest. It is exactly the duty of government that drives the development of such businesses that matter to us, but lack profit. Arts, without doubt, are included in such businesses.

 

Generally speaking, I based my perspective on two facts - the importance of arts for our society and the unacceptable ignorance of arts in our current life. And meanwhile, I argue the responsibility of government in driving non-profit business. After the tough analysis above, I believe unshakably, most people would endorse my perspective - the government should make more investment on arts.

（备注：写完后略有修改，30分钟写完的版本没有倒数第二段）

rockfish_2003

再来一篇

Do you agree or disagree with the following opinion: life means more than having everything.

 

Being a passionate young man, I invariably desire to chase my dream. I have been longing for pursuing something I am really interested in and care about and furthermore, I hope to do it well. Accordingly I strongly agree with the statement - life means more than having everything. Actually, in my opinion, life means following the dream and make all the difference.

 

Interest, here, is a fairly crucial consideration for avoiding owning everything. Why, some people wonder, would they lose the passion and motivation in lives? The reason is that they overlook their interests. If one is stuck to the notion - owning everything, s/he probably ignores what s/he is interested in deeply in heart. Then s/he would probably be tired of life and could not persist something till making the final success. Steve Jobes, CEO of Apple Corp. once put it like this: try to figure out what you really love to do and before that, don't settle and just keep searching. He said this and meanwhile did the same way. Before being a famous businessman, he once was a known loser. Around thirties, he was swept out by his rival form Apple he established personally. He didn't give up, however. He established another company and led it to great success. Finally, this company was merged by Apple and he came back to be CEO again. As he described, what drove him to stand up again was his interest - so loved what he did that he could not helping keeping moving even if facing huge challenges. The story of Steve Jobes demonstrates that life does not mean having everything, but finding the unique thing you love to do – an actor, a chef, a professor or a environment protector – whatever.

 

The impossibility to own everything in world is another critical consideration for me to possess this view. Owning everything looks attractive, but simultaneously is a huge challenge (impossible mission), even to those with great talent and strong capability. Therefore, if a person concentrates on possessing everything, the consequence exclusively contains whether being punished by his/her greed, or being defeated by one’s despair. To give a demonstration, Adolph Hitler, the leader of German Nazi Party, seemed to desire to own everything in the world. As a result, he launched the Second World War and dragged millions of innocent people into great tragedies. In a word, his greed of owning everything in the world ruined lives of his and many others. The story of Hitler tells us pursing to own everything sometimes puts himself/herself and other people in danger.

 

Someone who is forever extolling the merits of human rights may somehow disagree with my perspective. S/he would rather to maintain that one has right to chase what s/he want, including having everything. Nevertheless, this is only part of the picture because s/he fails to mention that human's right should be under control if s/he tends to hurt others. As mentioned above, human focusing on possessing everything sometimes tends to ruin not only his/her life, but others. Under such situation, the right should be under control.

 

After the tough analysis above, I believe unshakably, most people, including those who stress the importance of human rights, would endorse my perspective - life means more than having everything.   

rockfish_2003

咋没有人帮忙呢？自己顶一下！！！

lixiaosr

大哥 你写了545字 考试时真写的完吗 第一篇例子不细可惜 不过第二篇例子充实语言不错 3point 可删  当然我不是牛牛 这只是个人意见

德克的猪

长``真长

lixiaosr

德克你怎么下线了

rockfish_2003

实际30分钟大概写了接近400字，上传的是后来修改过之后的版本，加了一些内容，并且对部分语句作了修改。

看到德克的猪好开心了，我的作文很多都是跟你学的，就是你的那个修改合集，而且坚持没用模版，之前考GMAT时是狂用模版的，呵呵，是真的想提高自己的写作能力，反正结下来申请写Essay要用。

请重点帮我看看结构和语言吧。我感觉词汇方面还是很贫乏，不过但是见提高挺难的。谢谢。

rockfish_2003

阿，不会吧？还没帮我批改呢？看来只能明天继续顶了，郁闷！

会不会是我写的太常了每人看呢？唉！

德克的猪

看了

如果考试的时候写成这样

高分!!!

roseyx0915

真不错!我什么时候到这个水准 就好了!! 加油!