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我的写作不怎么样,请大家看了过后猛拍

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楼主
发表于 2007-5-7 20:25:00 | 只看该作者

我的写作不怎么样,请大家看了过后猛拍

Topic:

It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

 

 

It is utterly a catastrophe for me to waste my precious leisure time to drive from my neighborhood to the movie theater for a blockbuster-virtually the drive time is, at most times, longer than a movie (Lord of the king is an exception). Even more suffering, to those who have one or two “little emperor” to take care of, they will inevitably experience the affliction resulted from children’s successional noise and cry, of course. To such misfortune, another must be added-the highway to the movie theater is widely recognized as the vastest parking lot in our city. In the light of such a situation, setting up a movie theater, indubitably, is a salvation for us unfortunate people.

 

Saving time is a tangible merit of building a theater in our neighborhood, but not the only one. Simultaneously, it would undoubtedly bring our neighborhood with a considerable number of employment opportunities. It is good news for those who have underwent the frustration triggered by the failure in job seeking and been worrying about their jobs in our neighborhood.

 

Without a theater in our neighborhood, actually, life is to some degree monotonous. We deem watching a movie as a special treat-we prepare for a long time to drive to the remote movie theater and to tolerate the tough drive time. In other tedious and friendless evenings, watching TV might be the unique form of entertainment. However, it will wholly change if a movie theater to be built. Any new movies are at hands-fortunately only several minutes walk away. Via this method, the movie theater would certainly add color to our lives. In addition, those related shops, say, candy shop, soft drink shop, fast food restaurant also make life more convenient.

 

However, to me, as a matter of fact, the most alluring advantage of the movie theater is that it never fails to provide young people with a perfect place to date-quite and dark, without the risk of being perceived by parents.

 

After four paragraphs tough writing, I believe unshakably, those reasons will suffice to support my perspective-building a movie theater in our theater is a perfect choice.

沙发
发表于 2007-5-7 21:07:00 | 只看该作者
一定要看着时间练哦,可别忽悠了.
板凳
发表于 2008-1-8 23:56:00 | 只看该作者
今天偶然搜到这个帖子。德克同学真是太谦虚了,这篇文章绝对是一篇经典范文,有太多值得学习的地方……
地板
发表于 2008-1-9 00:28:00 | 只看该作者
恩。恩!同感,太谦虚了,太有才了!
5#
发表于 2008-1-9 00:57:00 | 只看该作者

好重的NCE3味道呀~~

看来要好好学习一下~~

6#
发表于 2008-1-9 01:36:00 | 只看该作者

有过分修饰的嫌疑,你数数这里面的修饰副词的个数还有插入语的数量就知道了。反正我看这种文章有一种不自然不舒服的感觉。

7#
发表于 2008-1-9 04:20:00 | 只看该作者
但毕竟不可否认他的词汇量啊,比如catastrophe,我肯定是只看而不会去用,最多disaster,而且这个也太夸张了吧,又不是什么天灾人祸的 volcano eruption还是erthquake还是tsunami, 加个引号会不会好点
8#
发表于 2008-1-9 07:10:00 | 只看该作者

1. to drive from my neighborhood to the movie theater

in driving from my home to a movie theater

2. two “little emperor”
                

two “little emperors”

3. noise and cry, of course

disquietness

4. To such misfortune, another must be added

another misfortune must be added

5. the highway to the movie theater is widely recognized as the vastest parking lot in our city

highway exits to the movie theater more likely turn out to be a vast parking space in our city

6. In the light of such a situation

In light of such a situation

7. setting up a movie theater, indubitably, is a salvation for us unfortunate people.

living closer to a movie theater, indubitably, is a salvation for those unfortunate movielovers.  

8. bring our neighborhood with a considerable number of employment opportunities.

bring a considerable number of employment opportunities to our neighborhood.

9. It is good news for those who have underwent the frustration triggered by the failure in job seeking and been worrying about their jobs in our neighborhood.
                

It is good news for those who have had frustrations of disemployment or relevant concerns in our neighborhood.

10. We deem watching a movie as a special treat

We deem watching a movie a special treat

11. it will wholly change if a movie theater to be built.
                

it will wholly change our life if a movie theater were built.

12. Any new movies are at hands

Any new movies are at hand

13. provide young people with a perfect place to date

provide a perfect place to date for young people

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