(AA27)偶写的第一篇ARGUMENT,麻烦牛牛和斑竹帮忙看看啊~~~~

如果随波逐流

Argument No.27
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Question:

The following appeared in a newspaper editorial.

`As violence in movies increases, so do crime rates in our cities. To combat this problem we must establish a board to censor certain movies, or we must limit admission to persons over 21 years of age. Apparently our legislators are not concerned about this issue since a bill calling for such actions recently failed to receive a majority vote.~

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

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Your Answer:

In a newspaper editorial, the author considers that these is a causal relationship between the increase of violence in movies and that of crime rates in our cities, just because two phenomenon happens together or one after another. Based on that analysis, the author points out that we must establish a board to censor certain movies or limit admission to person over 21 years old. Moreover, the author also criticizes the legislators' indifference because of the failure of a bill calling for such actions. While I think this argument is somewhat convincing, it suffers some logical mistakes.

First of all, the author concludes the causal relationship between the increase of violence in movies and that of crime rates without enough evidence. Just because they have a positive numerical correlation, or just because two things happen together or one after another, it is absolutely too arbitrary to state the really relationship between the two phenomenon. It is possible that these two increases just happen at the same time coincidently. It is also possible that other factors such as the enlarging income gap are mainly responsible for the increase of crime rates.

In addition, the author asserts that we must limit admission to persons over 21 years of age to combat the crime problem. Let alone the fact that this assertion is based on a questionable analysis of relationship, this method has its own problems. Just according to the newspaper editorial, there is no evidence to demonstrate that the most of the perpetrators are under 21 years old or that the violence in movies affect that age-group most severely. Without this necessary demonstration, we can't be persuaded that the solution of limiting admission is a good idea.

Last but not least, the author blame about the legislators' indifferent attitudes toward this issue because a billing calling for such actions recently failed to receive a majority vote. However, we can't see the legislators' indifference by this newspaper report. Maybe just like us, the legislators don't account the increase of violence in movies for the increase of crime rates mainly. Maybe the legislators do care about the issue so much that they are trying their best to figure a better solution to the problem.

In conclusion, as it suffers these three critical mistakes above, this argument is weak and empty of concrete evidence and demonstration. And it lacks the ability to persuade us. In order to better his or her points, the author need to add in more specific statement about the causal relationship between these two increases, what's more, he or she should show us the reason to enact these actions.  Only in that way can this argument be more convincing and persuasive.

偶写的第一篇ARGUMENT.第一次正式写的,30分钟内完成,时间有点紧,刚刚完成.

牛牛们谢谢提提意见或者建议啊~~~~偶还有十多天就考了...

恐惧+担心...

pumpkin

您有没有放在WORD中间检查基本的语法？

如果随波逐流

检查了啊 ...难道还有很多语法错误吗

555

谢谢指教下哈~~~觉得不行尽管说!