(AA6)我的第一篇AA，请赐教！

kid

非常汗颜。。。自己知道狗屁不通。。。只希望多大家多多指点，希望我被骂多几次能通一些。。。和和~~
“Corporations should take look to the city of Helios when seeking new business or opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”

The suggestion that corporations should look to the city of Helios neglected several potential but substantial factors. The author has provided some evidence such as employment rate, provided jobs and new business attempt of Helios. The reasoning, however, is actually invalid for the logical drawbacks it commits.

Even if the offered facts may play a partial role in the reasoning, yet it would be seriously doubted for the following logical concerns. First, the argument assumed that unemployment stands for the economic situation, which, actually, depends on various factors such as technical level, circumjacent economic environment and the residents’ purchase ability but unemployment solely. If the main business in Helios is handicraft whereas that is technical industry in other cities of the region, whose firms have just changed their outdated human-controlled machines into the advanced computerized ones, the consequence of higher unemployment rate than that in Helios would occur, but it cannot prove that Helios has a better economy. Second, the author cited that Helios has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs without telling the amount of the jobs in the region. If there is only 1 firm in the region and which is in Helios, the conclusion is more like that the whole manufacturing industry in the region is laggard. Finally, the types of corporations, which are seeking new business opportunities or a new location, haven’t been mentioned. Whether the companies could or not get any advantage if they were not the type, focus on research and development of innovative technologies, which Helios attempts to attract are not addressed.

Accordingly, the suggestion is not sound or convincing lacking for information mentioned above. If the data were more sufficient, the suggestion will be far more thorough and persuasive.

我觉得自己找的理由自己都不大能说服，但尤其是我想的理由写出来就似乎变的很奇怪。
我想说的理由是：
1、失业率低不能说明经济好；
2、即使H的经济是该地区最好的，整个地区的经济都不好的话，也不行；
3、原文未说出寻求商机的那些公司都是什么类型，如果他们都不是科研方向的公司（H要吸引的那类），似乎并不会得到什么特别的好处；

其他的还有什么么？我的理由是否合理？
谢谢NN们！

anchoret

能有空时上去写一下题号吗？（修改帖子，写在主题上）

我的一个建议：
1、causal oversimplification:失业率越低，劳动力成本越高，越不符合business opportunity

2、hasty generalization：industrial center and more manufacturing job does not necessarily mean that the city will stand for business oppotunities.原因：。。。。与企业类型有关，与和市场的距离有关。。。。。

3、attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies不代表会成功，也无从证明business opportunity的存在。