(AI12)刚写了一篇issue 但是觉得狗屁不通 能请大家帮我看看么

litperi

 “Education has become the main provider of individual opportunity in our society. Just as property and money once were the keys to success, education has now become the element that most ensures success in life.”

In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Explain, using reasons and examples based on your own experience, observations, or reading.

The issue of whether education has now become the element that most ensures success in life
   is complex and controversial. Different people hold different views due to their respective angles. On the one hand, as is well-known and has often been advocated that education can change a person’s life; on the other hand, others probably insist that education is not the
   essential element contributes to their success.
     The complex nature of the above issue requires us to consider it on a case-by-case basis. In my point of view, whether one has advantages over the other depends on the specific circumstances.

In the first place, the important reason that can be presented to develop my position is that education is important for any person regardless of their occupations.  A good example may be found in the case that in some rural areas in China, people’s life is below poverty because they are not educated; they farm solely relying on the natural condition. Once natural disaster occurs, they will lose their crops or cattle.  Under this circumstance/therefore, it is obvious that education is important to anyone regardless of their occupations.  

In addition, there is another reason for me to say that education is important. The reason is not far to seek: education is the process to learn how to do right things and how to do things right.
     To illustrate, a case in point in this respect is that what we gained from education is usually the experience
   from other people or ourselves. Those people accumulated their experiences from successes or failures, to tell how to avoid the mistakes they took or what is the right way to solve problems; education is also a process that we learn from our own experiences.

Admittedly, there is no denying that education cannot be the decisive factors of one’s success. There are many successful people did not  go to college, or leave colleges before graduate. Bill Gates is the best example. He now is the wealthiest people in the world, but he did not finish his bachelor degree when he starts his company. However, we have to notice that without his previous education from primary school to his college (he did not finish though), would he be able to run his business? I don’t think he would.

  

Consequently, I advocate that education
   has now become the element that most ensures success in life. because: primary education is important to anyone engages in any occupation
   and education helps us to avoid mistake and practice the right thing. Due to the above-mentioned reasons, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we may safely arrive at the conclusion I support.

pengfei1102

你 和我用的 木板一样。 都是 这个。 不管什么题，都往里面套。 我作文就复习了不到一个星期，现在怕死了。。 明天就考试。。。

也不管了。~

看了你写的，比我好多了。我现在 也就写了一篇。觉得考场上 随便填几句，估计就可以了吧。 不过我怕。

litperi

你背了么 模板?

fiaoyaya

我的ISSUE用了骑墙的观点不知道可不可以啊?我的模板也就正面一点反面1点,正面1个例子,反面1个例子,今天早上终于能在30分钟内写500了.

不知道这种方法好不好>?有没有前人用骑墙的观点得5.5的呀?

litperi

骑墙的观点是什么?

天堂楼下

和我用的模版也很像，很害怕……

baddream1977

不知道GMAT用一样的模版会不会被check，我记得04年GRE作文就因为很多模版相同，例子相同而被判作弊，小心为妙啊。

litperi

我已经放弃使用模版了。。。

laihong

以下是引用litperi在2006-7-21 17:44:00的发言：

 “Education has become the main provider of individual opportunity in our society. Just as property and money once were the keys to success, education has now become the element that most ensures success in life.”

In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Explain, using reasons and examples based on your own experience, observations, or reading.

 

 

 

 

The issue of whether education has now become the element that most ensures success in life
   is complex and controversial. Different people hold different views due to their respective angles. On the one hand, as is well-known and has often been advocated that education can change a person’s life; on the other hand, others probably insist that education is not the
   essential element contributes to their success.
     The complex nature of the above issue requires us to consider it on a case-by-case basis. In my point of view, whether one has advantages over the other depends on the specific circumstances. (废话，和前面的重复）。

 

 

In the first place, the important reason that can be presented to develop my position is that education is important for any太绝对没有在后面证明 person regardless of their occupations.  A good example may be found in the case that in some rural areas in China, people’s life is below poverty because they are not educated; they farm solely relying on the natural condition. Once natural disaster occurs, they will lose their crops or cattle.这句话没有和教育联系起来，只是想当然地联系，而没有表达出来。
                 Under this circumstance/therefore, it is obvious that education is important to anyone regardless of their occupations.  

 

 

In addition, there is another reason for me to say that education is important. The reason is not far to seek: education is the process to learn how to do right things and how to do things right.
     To illustrate, a case in point in this respect is that what we gained from education is usually the experience
   from other people or ourselves. Those people accumulated their experiences from successes or failures, to tell how to avoid the mistakes they took or what is the right way to solve problems; education is also a process that we learn from our own experiences. 目的是什么？此外，没有很好地证明do right things and how to do things right，后面的例子的力度不行。主要是没有把理由在例子中体现。

 

 

Admittedly, there is no denying that education cannot be the decisive factors of one’s success. There are many successful people did not  go to college, or leave colleges before graduate. Bill Gates is the best example. He now is the wealthiest people in the world, but he did not finish his bachelor degree when he starts his company. However, we have to notice that without his previous education from primary school to his college (he did not finish though), would he be able to run his business? I don’t think he would.

  

Consequently, I advocate that education
   has now become the element that most 没有证明ensures success in life. because: primary education is important to anyone 没有证明engages in any occupation
   and education helps us to avoid mistake and practice the right thing. Due to the above-mentioned reasons, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we may safely arrive at the conclusion I support.

文章在于证明，不在于你的什么套话。