nebelstreifs iBT preparation diary (Sep.)

nebelstreif

I didnt do much today, simply read different things. And here is a brilliant article taken from the Article Recition program. I like it a lot, share with ya.

True nobility

In a calm sea every man is a pilot.

But all sunshine without shade, all pleasure without pain, is not life at all.

Take the lot of the happiest - it is a tangled yarn.

Bereavements and blessings, one following another, make us sad and blessed by turns.

Even death itself makes life more loving.

Men come closest to their true selves in the sober moments of life under the shadows of sorrow and loss.

In the affairs of life or of business, it is not intellect that tells so much as character, not brains so much as heart, not genius so much as self-control, patience, and discipline, regulated by judgment.

I have always believed that the man who has begun to live more serious within begins to live more simply without.

In an age of extravagance and waste, I wish I could show to the world how few the real wants of humanity are.

To regret one’s errors to the point of not repeating them is true repentance.

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man.

The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.

pearl1113

加油啊

pearl1113

支持

付出一定会有回报的

nebelstreif

这两天在看阅读方面的东西，之前看到大家对模板以及结构都有很多的强调，以为文章只要有个好的结构，语句通常就基本ok了。可是在细读了OG的评分样本后，我有一些不同的体会。

举例：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.

Score 5 essay:

DISHONESTY KILLS RELIABILITY

There are certain considerations or factors that everyone takes into account in a relationship. People may look for honesty,altruism, understanding, loyalty, being thoughtful, etc! Everyone would more or less wish that the person s/he is dealing with, has some of these values above. Putting them in an order according to their importance, however can be very subjective and relative.

When someone askes him/herself the question "What do i consider to be the most important thing in my relationship?" the answer depends on a lot of factors such as how his/her earlier relationships were.

After stating that everyong's opinion can be different about this, for me honesty, in other words, always telling the truth is the most important consideration in a relationship. Opposite of this is inarguably lying and if someone needs to lie, either s/he is hiding something or is aftraid of telling me something.

In any relationship of mine, i would wish that first of all, the person i'm dealing with is honest. Even though s/he thinks that s/he did something wrong that i wouldn't like, s/he'd better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if i find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else, that'd be much more unpleasant. In that case how can i ever believe or trust that person again? How can i ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship from there. So if i cannot trust a person anymore, if the person doesn't think i can handle the truth, there's no point to continuing that relationship.

Although i would like to see altruistic, understanding, thoughtful and loyal behavior from people, an instance of the opposite of these behaviors would not upset me as much as dishonesty would. Among all the possible behaviors, dishonesty is the only one for me that terminates how i feel about a person's reliability. Therefore honesty would be my first concern and the most consideration in a relationship.

Rater's Comments

In this response the writer first approaches the topic by underscoring that a numerber of characters traits are important to a relationship. The writer then effectively develops an argument that unlike other negative behaviors, dishonesty or unwillingness to fully disclose some bad actions cannot be forgiven and can be the most important factor in destroying a relationship. The writer's language is fluent, accurate, and varies enough to effectively support the progression and connection of ideas. There is a variety of sentence structures, including rhetorical questions. The essay is not mechanically perfect, but as long as such errors are occasional, minor, and do not interfere with the reader's understanding, an essay like this one can still earn a top score.

Score 3 Essay

Some people believe that it is one of the most important valure in many relationships to tell the truth all the time. However, it cannot be always the best choice to tell the truth in many situations. Sometimes white lies are indispensible to keep relationships more lively and dilightly. There are some examples to support this idea.

Firstly, in the relationships between lovers, it is often essential to compliment their lovers on their appearance and their behavior. Even though they do not think that their boyfriend or girlfriend looks good on their new shoes and new clothes, it will probably diss them by telling the truth. On the other hand, little compliments will make them confident and happy making their relationship more tight.

Secondly, parents need to encourage their childen by telling lies. Even if they are doing bad work on studying or exercising, telling the truth will hurt their hearts. What they need is a little encouraging words instead of truthful words.

Thirdly, for some patients telling them their current state of their desease will probably desperate them. It is accepted publically not to let the patients know the truth. They may be able to have hope to overcome their desease without knowing the truth.

In conclusion, it is not always better to tell the truth than lies. Some lies are acceptable in terms of making people's life more profusely. Not everybody has to know the truth, and it will lead them more happier not knowing it. In these cases, whitle lies are worth to be regarded as a virtue of people's relationships.

Rater's Comments

This essay focuses on explaining why "white lies" are sometimes appropriate. The explanations here are "somewhat developed." Each example supports the writer's main point, but in every case, the write does not say why the positive effect of the "white lies" outweighs any negative effect. There is inconsistent control of structures and vocabulary, with some errors in both structure and vacabulary obscuring meaning:"keep relationships...dilightly", "will probably desperate them", "making peoples life more profusely," "it will lead them more happier not knowing it." These weaknesses and errors earn this essay a score of 3.  

其实我看这个三分的作文写得挺好的呢，结构清晰例证丰富用词也不错，就是一些小的拼写错误也不至于导致误会。可是评分很低，从评分者的意思看主要是论证的不充分，展开不够。而第一篇，说实在的我根本没看出结构来，而且也没有举例。但是quite emotional，对于telling lies的行为给于坚决的否定。当然语言是没有什么错误的。

看来不能一味追求结构，更重要的是要展题透彻论述充分言之有物，而不是简单的罗列一些例子和结构词。

希望能和大家一起讨论总结。

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-7-10 17:58:08编辑过]

tropicalfish

MM说的对, 就我考完IBT和GMAT后, 也认为作文的高分一定是非常有内容的.

飘来飘去

楼主，我跟你一样，第一篇我真的没看出什么结构了，感觉挺散的，而且，我总觉得OG老在强调details，但是第一篇好像也看不出啥子details来耶。。。

nebelstreif

我觉得OG的导向是他要看你是不是能讲论题展开得充分、分析深入，而不是简单的罗列结构。也就是说看你能不能用英语表达你思维的深度。

yinzheng66

天气好热！！希望MM的复习日记像天气一样热！！！

飘来飘去

很同意楼主19楼的看法，og给的score 3 essay其实是我们最长写的套路，但是og对它的评价是the explanations here are "somewhat developed". 可是话又说回来因为我们对老套路太熟了，如果像score5的文章那样去写，如果写散了，那就危险了

山衔落日

作文的话，可以参考顶置下载贴http://forum.chasedream.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=19&ID=172397&page=1

中编号OW02、OW03两套范文，和中国考生传统的思路不太一样，多看的话，很多地方都可以借鉴（思路、结构、句式、短语甚至用词）。