twe29帮忙看看，心里没底

kamejin

上次作文虽然之背了十篇范文但也还背中了，但分数吓人3。5，还是塌实来写但时在没话写，望大家多给意见

29.

Some people believe that the earth is being harmed by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Throughout history humans have changed the physical environment in order to improve the way of life, however, man’s change to the physical environment have not always had beneficial results. Human activity dose significantly damage the Earth.

The woodlands and prairies have been transformed into farm. Lakes and reservoirs out of rivers have been made for irrigation purpose or hydroelectric power. Man has also modified the face of the earth by draining marshes and cutting through mountains to build roads and railways. All of these make people’s life much easier and more comfortable.

However, it is these advances that come with a significant environmental cost. Ecological system is seriously destroyed and many species disappear everyday. Pollution of the air and water is an increasing danger to the healthy of the planet and human ourselves.

With the tools of technology human has altered many physical features of the earth in order to benefit human life, while these activities make many animals and plants lose their habitants and become extinct. The ecological system damaged badly. Nowadays, people have suffered from the serious consequence and realized the importance of the health and integrated environment.

Moreover, another main effect of human activity on earth is pollution. Each day thousands of tons of gases come out of the exhausts of motor vehicles, smoke from factories pollutes the air, which is much less healthy to be breathed. The air-born pollution also falls back to the earth in the form of acid rain, which destroys plant life and buildings. Industrial wastes have already made many rivers undrinkable and unusable for agriculture, and even lifeless. The whole ecological balance of the sea is being changed.

Now, environmental protection is more pressing than ever before. As we know, massive destruction of environment has brought about negative effects and even poses a great threat to human’s existence. Therefore, effective measures should be taken to conserve environment.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-11-21 23:28:01编辑过]

pengstone

以下是引用kamejin在2005-11-21 23:27:00的发言：

上次作文虽然之背了十篇范文但也还背中了，但分数吓人3。5，还是塌实来写但时在没话写，望大家多给意见

29.

Some people believe that the earth is being harmed by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Throughout history humans have changed the physical environment in order to improve the way of life, however, man’s change to the physical environment have not always had beneficial results. Human activity dose significantly damage the Earth.

The woodlands and prairies have been transformed into farm. Lakes and reservoirs out of rivers have been made for irrigation purpose or hydroelectric power. Man has also modified the face of the earth by draining marshes and cutting through mountains to build roads and railways. All of these make people’s life much easier and more comfortable.

However, it is these advances that come with a significant environmental cost. Ecological system is seriously destroyed and many species disappear everyday. Pollution of the air and water is an increasing danger to the healthy of the planet and human ourselves.

With the tools of technology human has altered many physical features of the earth in order to benefit human life, while these activities make many animals and plants lose their habitants and become extinct. The ecological system damaged badly. Nowadays, people have suffered from the serious consequence and realized the importance of the health and integrated environment.

Moreover, another main effect of human activity on earth is pollution. Each day thousands of tons of gases come out of the exhausts of motor vehicles, smoke from factories pollutes the air, which is much less healthy to be breathed. The air-born pollution also falls back to the earth in the form of acid rain, which destroys plant life and buildings. Industrial wastes have already made many rivers undrinkable and unusable for agriculture, and even lifeless. The whole ecological balance of the sea is being changed.

Now, environmental protection is more pressing than ever before. As we know, massive destruction of environment has brought about negative effects and even poses a great threat to human’s existence. Therefore, effective measures should be taken to conserve environment.

　架子还可以，但语言问题很多。下划线部分有明显问题的。我感觉楼主在生造一些奇怪的表达。不要想当然地写，多用自己熟悉的，有把握的用法，哪怕是简单的表达。

kamejin

With the tools of technology human has altered many physical features of the earth in order to benefit human life, while these activities make many animals and plants lose their habitants and become extinct.

我想问问这句话出什么问题了，还是不太懂，请多多指教。谢谢！

With  technology human has altered many physical features of the earth in order to benefit human life. man's activities make many animals and plants lose their habitants and become extinct.

这样行吗

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-12-1 10:07:53编辑过]

kamejin

man’s change to the physical environment have not always had beneficial results.改为

man's changes to the physical environment have not always had beneficial results.

这句话是我抄的经典背诵上的，写作的道路可真迷茫呀

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-12-1 10:16:47编辑过]

pengstone

以下是引用kamejin在2005-12-1 10:16:00的发言：

man’s change to the physical environment have not always had beneficial results.改为

man's changes to the physical environment have not always had beneficial results.

这句话是我抄的经典背诵上的，写作的道路可真迷茫呀

MM不用伤心，当俺说错了不就行了，毕竟俺的水平有限嘛，对俺的要求太高了俺也吃不消，呵呵。

pengstone

以下是引用kamejin在2005-12-1 10:01:00的发言：

With the tools of technology human has altered many physical features of the earth in order to benefit human life, while these activities make many animals and plants lose their habitants and become extinct.

我想问问这句话出什么问题了，还是不太懂，请多多指教。谢谢！

主要是while一词使得整个句子变得有点怪了。

With  technology human has altered many physical features of the earth in order to benefit human life. man's activities make many animals and plants lose their habitants and become extinct.

这样行吗

俺试着改写一下，你看会不会好些：While human beings have improved their life by altering many physical features of the earth, their activities have inevitably deprived animals and plants much of their habitants and, even worse, resulted in the extinction of a large variety of species.

kamejin

斑竹真是个好人