twe006 请指教，谢谢！

elaine_tai

006 If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Shanghai, my hometown, has been developed into a world renowned metropolis in the past ten years.  Though numerous great changes have taken place here, there is still much room for futher improvement.  Some people suggest that Shanghai establish more recreational facilities; the others say that the city needs to change the system of higher education.  As far as I am concerned, the government should focus on the improvement of the environment, developing a well-organized mechanism of environmental protection.  The following reasons can best support my view.

To begin with, a high-quality environment usually allures more foreign investment which help increase the number of job opportunities.  During the 1990s, the government spent a great amount of money in the compagin of environmental protection in Pudong New Area.  As a result, many multi-nationals entered my hometown and made large amounts of investment in Pudong.  udong has been changed from a countryside to a modernized economic zone, and its unemployment rate has decreased to a level lower than the average.  However, Shanghai is still faced with many problems in environmental pollution.  If the government can take further efforts to change and improve the environment, we could expect that a larger amount of foreign funds will flow in and provide us with a growing number of job opportunities.

Moreover, a good environment is crucial to our health conditions.  According to statistics, more and more people suffer from the lung diseases, which are probably caused by the polluted environment.  If the health conditions of the citizens turn worse, the productivity of the entire city will be weakened.  It is necessary for the government to enact systematic laws and regulations to punish the behaviors and conducts harmful to the environment, thereby ensuring the overall productivity of the city.

Finally, a city with fresh air and clean environment could attract a lot of tourists.  Since Hong Kong launched the campaign of environmental protection, it has received countless foreign visitors who make great contributions to its economic revenues.  Most of the visitors are deeply impressed by the clean roads and fresh air of the modernized city.  Though Shanghai is famous for its historical sites, the low-quality environment may block the development of its tourism.  Therefore, if we imitate the best practices of Hong Kong, we can also make great achievements in the development of tourism.

To conclude, since a well protected environment can benefit the city in the aspects mentioned above, changing the environment is currently one of the pressing tasks for the Shanghai government.  Shanghai will probably win a better reputation with its future efforts in environmental protection.

hncsxj

总体写得不错。个人觉得有些说法太中国。比如 there is still much room for futher improvement