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昨天看了楼主的文章113，提点个人感觉。
开头和结尾均又把理由段里面的理由重复了一遍，感觉没有必要，特别是开头那里，显得罗嗦
理由段里面没有实例。看看下面这个理由段，论证的文字是写得不错，但是没有例子，
o begin with, a university located in my community can stimulate the needs for employee, thus reducing the unemployment pressure put on the local government. Moreover, with the increased employment rate, local residents will improve the quality of their lives, which will inspire the demand for goods. In turn, this will increase the supply of consumables and stimulate the development of the economy. | 
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发表于 2005-10-10 00:56:00
