AI115, 请指教

lindazhou

AI-115 .Technology ultimately separates and alienates people more than it serves to bring them together.

The issue of whether technology ultimately separates and alienates people more than it serves to bring them together become a hot topic now. Somebody consider that technology makes people separated, the others insist that technology brings people much more together. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and provide evidence favoring the latter one.

In the first place, the important reason that can be presented to develop my position is that technology shortens the geographic distance. As the modern transportation facilities development, people locomotion range become more and more distant. For example, cars make people locomotion increased to 200 kilometers and planes make people locomotion soar to 2,000 kilometers. Thus people can do not endure the homesick and return home to get together with their family. Now, many Aussie work in US and very easily go home at Christmas, a traditional festival for family time. Therefore, the relative distance change brings people much more closed than before. In addition, international travellings  become very prevalent today. We can gain direct experience, enjoy the different cultures and scenes, and then people are able to communicate and understand better as we take modern transportation facilities to go round the world.

In the second place, people can make use of modern communication facilities to contact with each other more closed and prompt. People can exchange information conveniently and cheaply by email compared with traditional fax, phone call and telegraph. Moreover, Millions computers consist a global link around the world and people can share the enormous information database and deal with business by e-platform. This technology leads to unprecedented opportunities and closed cooperation in business world. Multinational companies manage the sub-companies and offices by email, not by regular mail, so time-consuming and costly to complex management across the world. And some companies create distinctive competitive advantages by new technology. For example, Dell computer company realized specific direct sales and lowest cost by e-platform to deal with orders, manufactures, logistics and after-sales services.

Some one may argue that technology makes people lack of contacting   face by face, thus become separated. It is true that we can’t often drop in our parents, classmates or neighbours. But we can’t ignore such facts that we can greet our parents by phone call everyday, do not lose our classmates track by email and mobile since we graduate, we can take part in residence activities by BBS of our living place.

In conclusion, I advocate that technology bring people more closed because: technology shortens the geographic distance, makes communication more convenient and cheap, and create new business opportunities.  Due to the above-mentioned reasons, we can safely arrive at the conclusion I support.

judydongxueni

以下是引用lindazhou在2005-8-26 18:34:00的发言：

AI-115 .Technology ultimately separates and alienates people more than it serves to bring them together.

The issue of whether technology ultimately separates and alienates people more than it serves to bring them together become 单复数要注意啊a hot topic now. Somebody consider that technology makes people separated, the others insist that technology brings people much more together. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and provide evidence favoring the latter one.

In the first place, the important reason that can be presented to develop my position is that technology shortens the geographic distance. As the modern transportation facilities development这个地方要用动词哦, people locomotion range 这里连着用了三个名词是专有的说法吗？好象people后面应该加所有格become还是要注意数 more and more distant. For example, cars make people locomotion increasedmake后面要用原型 to 200 kilometers and planes make people locomotion soar to 2,000 kilometers. Thus people can do not endure the homesick 要用名词加ness and return home to get together with their family复数. Now, many Aussie work in US and very easily go home at Christmas, a traditional festival for family time. Therefore, the relative distance change brings people much more closed than before. In addition, international travellings  become very prevalent today. We can gain direct experience, enjoy the different cultures and scenes, and then people are able to communicate and understand better as we take modern transportation facilities to go round the world.

In the second place, people can make use of modern communication facilities to contact with each other more closed and prompt. People can exchange information conveniently and cheaply by email compared with 加一个by哦 traditional fax, phone call and telegraph. Moreover, Millions computers consist a global link around the world and people can share the enormous information database and deal with business by e-platform. This technology leads to unprecedented opportunities and closed 要表示紧密的话应该是用close，closed是关闭的cooperation in business world. Multinational companies manage the sub-companies and offices by email, not by regular mail, so time-consuming and costly to complex management across the world. And some companies create distinctive competitive advantages by new technology. For example, Dell computer company realized specific direct sales and lowest cost by e-platform to deal with orders, manufactures, logistics and after-sales services.

Some one may argue that technology makes people lack of contacting   face by face, thus become separated. It is true that we can’t often drop in our parents, classmates or neighbours. But we can’t ignore such facts that we can greet our parents by phone call everyday, do not lose our classmates track by email and mobile since we graduate, we can take part in residence activities by BBS of our living place.

In conclusion, I advocate that technology bring people more closed because: technology shortens the geographic distance, makes communication more convenient and cheap, and create new business opportunities.  Due to the above-mentioned reasons, we can safely arrive at the conclusion I support.

结构和逻辑很好哦，注意语法包括单复数，主谓一致还有词性