第一篇AWA，求批改求意见！感谢

lixx201409

题目是这个：The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods.

“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its twenty-fifth birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

Itis true that organizations become more efficient, but the increasing efficiencydoes not necessarily lead to the decline of the costs of processing. Thedecline can be attributed to devaluation in currency and lower prices of rawmaterial. Also, the reason why organizations become more efficient may besomething else. Some factors influence all the companies. For instance, theGreat Depression brought thousands of companies to death while the revival ofeconomy often boosts the development in almost every industry. In fact,advancement in technology may play an essential role in the rising efficiency. However,such variations do not represent any fallback or improvement of the companyitself. Besides, the comparison between color film industry and food industryis not appropriate since every industry has its distinct characteristics whichare likely to cause different outcomes even when in an exactly same economicand social environment. Furthermore, the report asserts that the company’sexperience enable it to minimize the costs and thus maximize profit. Theassertion is totally implausible, because experience may be in correlation to theability to maximize profit but not in causation with such ability. Olympicathletes are all experienced but only one of them can be the winner in thegame. Sometimes experience can even be a point of weakness. Athletes mustretire at a certain age because their body condition is not suitable then. Competitionin business world is similar because every company experienced or not faces thesame situation. Some old gigantic companies have grown to be so bureaucrat thatthey could not react to the rapid changes in market as sensitively as thosesmall entrepreneurs do and thereby, gradually lose their position in themarket.
在半个小时之内，只写了不到200字，思路不够开阔，后来多花10分钟添了一些内容，字数还是不够，有大神推荐一下关于训练思路的方法吗