TWE162, 作文很菜，请帮我评个分& 修改，谢谢！

yang05

162 Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

With the social development, people in increasing numbers will be engaged in sports and entertainments which give us more fun in our spare times. When it comes to the issue whether they deserve the high salaries which will be several times those of civilians, every person has his own preference, depending on distinct experience, emotional concerns and life styles. As for me, I believe they should earn so much money. Among numerous factors which support my thoughts, I will explore only a couple of conspicuous ones here.

The primary cause for my inclination is that only the outstanding athletes and entertainers will get high salaries. We should consider that any person who is a talent in different fields will be paid more than average persons. When the famous athletes make much more efforts and compete with millions of other athletes, then they will win some matches and games. Just like famous entertainers, it is a tough progress when they come out from a large number of actors and singers. In my opinion there are no more convincing examples than this one to demonstrate my standpoint suitably and clearly.

Another persuasive reason can not be neglected is that they give us much excellent leisure time which give us the totally complete relaxation. Here a concrete example can be presented. When you turn on the TV, some exciting sports races or wonderful movies will attract us and give us a relaxing period after the stressful study and work. What they give us are not only the recreation and fun, but the energy which is accumulated from the leisure time as well.

In addition, it is necessary to take a glace at the argument of the other side which hold merits to some extent. Someone hold the ideas that those athletes and entertainers are not necessary for the growth of the economics. After all, we human beings depend mainly on the advanced technology and the agriculture to earn livings. Even though these people should be paid, but their earnings are too high compared to those of persons who devote to the necessary industry and food. However, these do not weaken what I advocated and not overwhelm the significance of the athletes and entertainers.

To sum up, based on what has been discussed above and taking into account of their contributions to our daily lives and their hard work to be famous, the high earnings of athletes and entertainers are rational.

pengstone

还好啦，一点都不菜。有一些语法错误，结尾有点弱。５分还是有滴。