发一篇自己还算满意的AI039 非限时修改后

chifeng49

In today's society, people are confronted with increasingly heavy pressure from work. In order to achieve professional success, they tend to sacrifice important aspects of a fulfilling personal life. Although it seems hard to balance work and personal life when one focuses on career success, I believe a fulfilling personal life lays solid foundation for real success in work. Therefore, achieving professional success and leading a fulfilling personal life do not necessarily exclude each other.

Admittedly, tremendous pressure from work is depriving people more and more of their private time. In this era of fierce competition, people must exert themselves in work in order to make better professional achievements. Since every one of us only has 24 hours to spend in a day, additional loads from work inevitably encroach personal life. However, still I believe that for most people to succeed in work, a fulfilling personal life cannot be spared.

One of the most important aspects of one's personal life concerns one's family, which provides strong backup for one to achieve professional success in the long run. My father used to tell me that what motivates him to work so hard is the desire to make our family live better.  Many people hold the same belief when they start working, but their later focus on mere work costs them tight family relations. Successful as they might be, they can still be much depressed and lose further incentive when they find that they no longer share happiness and joy with their families.

Moreover, a balanced family life may keep someone pursuing career success from being distracted by family problems rooted in alienation. When asked about the secret of his success, Neeleman, CEO of JetBlue answered without hesitation that it is to allow sufficient time for his family.  Neeleman draws a distinct line between work and family and he spends as much time as possible with his children. As a result, the kids do not give him trouble when many of his friends are distracted from work by their family problems.

Another area essential in one’s personal life is related to personal hobbies. More often than not, people sacrifice their personal hobbies so that they can make use of the time spared to do more work. However, this is neither an effective nor an efficient way to contribute to one’s career success. In fact, people need some quality time to refresh themselves, communicate with others, and enlarge their visions through various recreational activities. If one realizes that many great figures manage to keep interesting hobbies, then balancing career success and personal life will not seem so difficult.

To conclude, while balancing work and personal life appears to be difficult, people should still try their best to maintain the balance. In order to be truly successful in their professional work in the long run, people need both indispensable support from their family and refreshment from individual hobbies.

judydongxueni

以下是引用chifeng49在2005-7-30 20:39:00的发言：

In today's society, people are confronted with increasingly heavy pressure from work. In order to achieve professional success, they tend to sacrifice important aspects of a fulfilling personal life. Although it seems hard to balance work and personal life when one focuses on career success, I believe a fulfilling personal life lays solid foundation for real success in work. Therefore, achieving professional success and leading a fulfilling personal life do not necessarily exclude each other.

Admittedly, tremendous pressure from work is depriving people more and more of their private time. In this era of fierce competition, people must exert themselves in work in order to make better professional achievements. Since every one of us only has 24 hours to spend in a day, additional loads from work inevitably encroach personal life. However, still I believe that for most people to succeed in work, a fulfilling personal life cannot be spared.

用ignored或者neglected会不会更好呢？spare 好象是匀给别人的意思，或者还有我不清楚的意思？

One of the most important aspects of one's personal life concerns one's family, which provides strong backup for one to achieve professional success in the long run. My father used to tell me that what motivates him to work so hard is the desire to make our family live better.  Many people hold the same belief when they start working, but their later focus on mere work costs them tight family relations. Successful as they might be, they can still be much depressed and lose further incentive when they find that they no longer share happiness and joy with their families.

Moreover, a balanced family life may keep someone pursuing career success from being distracted by family problems rooted in alienation. When asked about the secret of his success, Neeleman, CEO of JetBlue answered without hesitation that it is to allow sufficient time for his family.  Neeleman draws a distinct line between work and family and he spends as much time as possible with his children. As a result, the kids do not give him trouble when many of his friends are distracted from work by their family problems.

Another area essential in one’s personal life is related to personal hobbies. More often than not, people sacrifice their personal hobbies so that they can make use of the time spared to do more work. However, this is neither an effective nor an efficient way to contribute to one’s career success. In fact, people need some quality time to refresh themselves, communicate with others, and enlarge their visions through various recreational activities. If one realizes that many great figures manage to keep interesting hobbies, then balancing career success and personal life will not seem so difficult.

如果是限时的话这段是可以省略的。

To conclude, while balancing work and personal life appears to be difficult, people should still try their best to maintain the balance. In order to be truly successful in their professional work in the long run, people need both indispensable support from their family and refreshment from individual hobbies.

确实很不错哦，接下来的工作就是限时的时候也写的这么好了呵呵。

chifeng49

“However, still I believe that for most people to succeed in work, a fulfilling personal life cannot be spared.

用ignored或者neglected会不会更好呢？spare 好象是匀给别人的意思，或者还有我不清楚的意思？”

呃呃，错误犯大了，这可是偶的TS，汗... 我想说的本来是节约的意思，语义有点跳跃了，用词也不当。

谢谢斑竹的鼓励！问题是限时就不是这个样子了。今天上午写的原稿只有370字，而且罗罗嗦嗦才写到第三段还没完。后来续编到600字。晚上拿出来一看，惨不忍睹，内容无比混乱。硬是逼自己删到500字以下，尽量把话说清楚，发现几乎重写了一遍。

最后一段不写限时的压力会小很多。写的时候其实不知道personal life究竟有哪些方面。只写一个方面有点不放心，硬编了个hobbies,写的也不是很清楚。究竟作文要上多少字呢？忘了是哪个牛牛说要500+，好像很有难度啊！

happyfish0517

judy辛苦了...

ethyl

不辛苦！

happyfish0517

你……ethyl你倒是无处不在啊...一会儿我去cr去逛逛~~嘻嘻

billyoung

以下是引用chifeng49在2005-7-30 20:39:00的发言：

In today's society, people are confronted with increasingly heavy pressure from work. In order to achieve professional success, they tend to sacrifice important aspects of a fulfilling personal life. Although it seems hard to balance work and personal life when one focuses on career success, I believe a fulfilling personal life lays solid foundation for real success in work. Therefore, achieving professional success and leading a fulfilling personal life do not necessarily exclude each other.

Admittedly, tremendous pressure from work is depriving people more and more of their private time. In this era of fierce competition, people must exert themselves in work in order to make better professional achievements. Since every one of us only has 24 hours to spend in a day, additional loads from work inevitably encroach personal life. However, still I believe that for most people to succeed in work, a fulfilling personal life cannot be spared.

One of the most important aspects of one's personal life concerns one's family, which provides strong backup for one to achieve professional success in the long run. My father used to tell me that what motivates him to work so hard is the desire to make our family live better.  Many people hold the same belief when they start working, but their later focus on mere work costs them tight family relations. Successful as they might be, they can still be much depressed and lose further incentive when they find that they no longer share happiness and joy with their families.

Moreover, a balanced family life may keep someone pursuing career success from being distracted by family problems rooted in alienation. When asked about the secret of his success, Neeleman, CEO of JetBlue answered without hesitation that it is to allow sufficient time for his family.  Neeleman draws a distinct line between work and family and he spends as much time as possible with his children. As a result, the kids do not give him trouble when many of his friends are distracted from work by their family problems.

Another area essential in one’s personal life is related to personal hobbies. More often than not, people sacrifice their personal hobbies so that they can make use of the time spared to do more work. However, this is neither an effective nor an efficient way to contribute to one’s career success. In fact, people need some quality time to refresh themselves, communicate with others, and enlarge their visions through various recreational activities. If one realizes that many great figures manage to keep interesting hobbies, then balancing career success and personal life will not seem so difficult.

To conclude, while balancing work and personal life appears to be difficult, people should still try their best to maintain the balance. In order to be truly successful in their professional work in the long run, people need both indispensable support from their family and refreshment from individual hobbies.

我觉得这2段写的是同一个东西