AIA02(新题第二道）请大家评价，考前第二篇！就是那篇持续变革的那篇文章

sacrati

看着这么多英文，可能比较痛苦，但是还是麻烦大家能不能评价一下，十分感谢！

Issue A2 / 141

Constant innovation and change within an organization are as likely to damage the organization as they are to improve it.

正文：

Within some organization, the innovation and change are always placed much emphasis on while the speaker asserts that within an organization, continual innovation and change will do more harm to the organization than do benefit to the organization. Although the speaker’s assertion is not wholly insupportable, however, in my view, the final judgment should depend on a case-by-case analysis.

To begin with, it is the truth that constant innovation, change and creation will cast a good and advantageous influence on the development and growth of an organization. In the first place, competition among the members of an organization will be boosted under the circumstance of change and innovation, thus raising the whole staff’s competence. In the second place, the change within an organization will bring about the creation and innovation of the final product or the work done by the organization, thus benefiting the consumers or the clients and in turn, helping the development and growth of the organization itself.

On the other hand, to some extent, if an organization change a lot and very frequently, the members and the staff in the organization will suffer some harmful impact. For one thing, the environment within the organization will be full of new challenge, possibly thereby making it difficult for the members to adapt to the changeable environment. For another, the constant change will easily impart heavy pressure on the members inside the organization, due to the fact that members will have to learn new knowledge and skills to meet the changeable standard and requirement caused by the constant innovation and change.

Most important of all, it is hard for us to find an evenhanded standard to tell which kind of influence, good or bad, the innovation and change will cast to the organization. And in the meantime, the good or bad effect resulted should depend on the different character and nature of different organizations. To be specific, when it concerns to such organizations as high-tech organizations and design and creativity organizations, innovation is the key factor that will make a decisive effect on the life and duration of the organization, which means constant change and innovation within the organization will bolster the members’ morale and raise the ability of creativity, thereby advancing their final product, design or their technology and technique into a high level. Another case in point is such organization as government department or offices, where there are strict hierarchy regulations and construction, has no necessity of a lot of and frequent changes and innovation; otherwise, the strict government system will be defeated and as a consequence, the effectiveness of the government will be challenged and the purpose of service will have to face the new challenge and regulations. And meanwhile, in such organizations, lack of experience of innovation, it is entirely possible that the constant innovation will bring the organization into a wrong direction.

In the final analysis, the speaker’s contention amounts to an overstatement. Not all organizations will stem the torrent of constant innovation and change based on the speaker’s claim, while some organizations will welcome such innovation and change because such organizations need changeable and innovational qualities.

happyfish0517

sorry...今天头实在太痛了...等明天头不那么昏了在来帮你看吧

这两天judy在考试...我今天刚从张家界回来，旅游漂流的时候还掉到猛洞河里去了有点发烧...到现在还不是太舒服...不好意思了，awa区的xdjm们多多互相帮忙吧~~

a za a za fighting...大家也注意保重身体哦

happyfish0517

以下是引用sacrati在2005-7-20 13:36:00的发言：

看着这么多英文，可能比较痛苦，但是还是麻烦大家能不能评价一下，十分感谢！

Issue A2 / 141

Constant innovation and change within an organization are as likely to damage the organization as they are to improve it.

正文：

Within some organization, the innovation and change are always placed much emphasis on while the speaker asserts that within an organization, continual innovation and change will do more harm to the organization than do benefit to the organization. Although the speaker’s assertion is not wholly insupportable, however, in my view, the final judgment should depend on a case-by-case analysis.

1、感觉HIGHLIGHT处被动语态不好。ETS喜欢主动。可改为THE MANAGERS ALWAYS PALCE MUCH EMPHASIS ON THE INNOVATION AND THE CHANGE...

2、within an organization位置有些重复，可删去不要。

3、很严重的一点，题目意思是as likely to damage the organization as they are to improve it. 即：组织中的不断的革新和变更,既有可能改进也有可能毁灭组织。这是并列的关系啊，而非will do more harm to the organization than do benefit to the organization啊...不过对后面没有影响，一样的论证。

To begin with, it is the truth that constant innovation, change and creation will cast a good and advantageous influence on the development and the growth of an organization. In the first place, competition among the members of an organization will be boosted under the circumstance of change and innovation, thus raising the whole staff’s competence. In the second place, the change within an organization will bring about the creation and innovation of the final product or the work done by the organization, thus benefiting the consumers or the clients and in turn, helping the development and growth of the organization itself.

1、并列结构：the development and the growth第二个the不能少。

2、嘻嘻~其它都很不错呢~

On the other hand, to some extent, if an organization changes a lot and very frequently, the members and the staff in the organization will suffer some harmful impact. For one thing, the environment within the organization will be full of new challenge, possibly thereby making it difficult for the members to adapt to the changeable environment. For another, the constant change will easily impart heavy pressure on the members inside the organization, due to the fact that members will have to learn new knowledge and skills to meet the changeable standard and requirement caused by the constant innovation and change.

1、单复数问题外，a lot和very frenquently不是很并列，改成changes significantly and frequently比较好吧。

Most important of all, it is hard for us to find an evenhanded standard to tell which kind of influence, good or bad, the innovation and change will cast to the organization. And in the meantime, the good or bad effect resulted should depend on the different character and nature of different organizations. To be specific, when it concerns to such organizations as high-tech organizations and design and creativity organizations, innovation is the key factor that will make a decisive effect on the life and duration of the organization, which means constant change and innovation within the organization will bolster the members’ morale and raise the ability of creativity, thereby advancing their final product, design or their technology and technique into a high level. Another case in point is such organization as government department or offices, where there are strict hierarchy regulations and construction, has no necessity of a lot of and frequent changes and innovation; otherwise, the strict government system will be defeated and as a consequence, the effectiveness of the government will be challenged and the purpose of service will have to face the new challenge and regulations. And meanwhile, in such organizations, lack of experience of innovation, it is entirely possible that the constant innovation will bring the organization into a wrong direction.

In the final analysis, the speaker’s contention amounts to an overstatement. Not all organizations will stem the torrent of constant innovation and change based on the speaker’s claim, while some organizations will welcome such innovation and change because such organizations need changeable and innovational qualities.

最后两段因为你题意理解错误的关系，论证方向有偏颇，我就没有仔细看了。总的来说这篇文章如果没理解错题目意思，写得还是很不错的...xixi

我的看法：

1、字数非常非常够了，超过500字了。如果是在30分钟之内写出来的，那已经可以去杀鸡了~~~~呵呵，真不错，结构构架的很好，也没什么语法问题。

2、如果不是在30分钟内构思写作出来的，请训练自己的速度，不要一味的追求篇幅，而忽略了30分钟内文章的完整性。我一向建议从开始练习作文时就掐时间写作，不要延时，给自己点时间压力，在30分钟内，至少要完成一篇有头有尾的文章，不论文章长短和内容层次。后两者可以在之后的思考和训练中改进。

3、感觉有些地方，lz你是在故意增加字数。比如cast a good and advantageous influence，the members and the staff 等等。明显重复。虽然字数是个很重要的要素，但简洁也是awa的一个要求。awkward更是语法中的大错。

  

呵呵，sacrati不要慌张~~其实我提的意见都是高一个层次的，其实这篇文章不错的。只是在行文风格上还有提高的潜力... a za a za fighting...

sacrati

太谢谢了！真是受益匪浅阿！！！

bobolu

刚开始复习issue，看了楼主的文章有个问题，是不是不一定要举例子和名人名言什么的啊？