这样的水平大概多少分？

steffifu

看了一下模板，练习了一篇，有哪位大神帮忙看看大概是个多少分的水平？ 心里没底啊，谢谢啦

In this memorandum, the author claims that the clothing shop shouldshift its advertising from newspaper to radio. To justify this claim, the author cites the evidence that a musicstore nearby got significant increase on foot traffic and profit after its newradio advertising campaign a year ago.  Although theargument seems plausible, after closely scrutinizing it, I find that thisargument is logically flawed in several aspects, which render it unconvincingas it stands.

First of all, the author commits a fallacy of false analogy by simply applying a music store’s success to aclothing store. Althogh these two stores locate in the same area with closetraffi flow, they have lots of differences in the bussiness model such asdifferent types of products, different target consumer and different operationprocedure. The audiences of the radio program could be the core target consumersof the music store, and they come to the music store for some music they heard inthe radio program. It’s possible that these radio audiences are not interstedin clothing, even if they are reached by the clothing store’s advertising, theywon’t stop by and visit the clothing store.

In addition, the authorfails to provide sufficient evidence to support that an increase on foottraffic can contribut to a sigifincant profit growth. It’s highly possible thata lot of people just come into the store, walk around and leave without buyinganything. The profit growth in the music store could be a result of any otherreasons such as a price discount or some premium promotions.  Without rulling out these possibilities, theauthor can not just predict a profit growth from foot traffic increase.

In summary, the author’s conclustion that the clothing shop shouldgo for radio advertising instead of newspaper to achieve a goal of profit growth isnot sound and persuasive because the author has left out several keyissues.  If it included the itemsdiscussed above, the arugment would have been more thorough and convincing.