脸皮厚，再发一个AI2， 大家多多批评指正。

doris_tt

脸皮厚，再发一个AI2， 也是第一次写issue啊，大家多多批评指正。
The speaker here asserts that International leadership and worldwide cooperation are essential to preserve energy. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the author’s assertion for reasons addressed below.

There are numerous reasons why I hold such opinion. And I will in here explain a few of the most import ones. The main reason is that individual countries will act according to their short-term motives and self-interests if there is no international regulation or organization to supervise their usage of energy. Since economic power are among the most important factors in determine how strong a country is, it makes sense to assume that individual countries tend to lay more emphasis on economic development than on energy conservation whose results are not remarkable in short term. We can see this point particular clearly in developing countries such as China and Indian. In order to speed their economic development, these countries encourage industries to produce as many products as they can regardless how this kind of production can be energy wasting.

The second argument that can be presented to develop my position is that energy conservation is such a complex and global problem that the goal of saving energy resource cannot be achieved without effective international cooperation and powerful international leadership. The most important global energy resources such as oil and natural gas are in limit reserves and are distributed extremely unevenly among the more than 200 countries. The exploitation and usage of such energy should be carefully planned and managed by powerful international organizations or those limited reserves will be depleted quickly. Just think how much energy our human beings have consumed since the Industrial Revolution because of lacking effective global control over energy exploitation.

Admittedly, nowadays more and more nations come to realize the importance of energy conservation and begin to sacrifice some short term economic interests to avoid overusing energy. However, this alone does not constitute a strong support to claim that there is no need for international cooperation and leadership. In fact, the measures taken by individual countries are far less than sufficient to solve the global energy crisis.

In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, we may finally draw the conclusion that it is very essential to have international leadership and worldwide cooperation to protect energy recourses.

lewis

第一次写这样很不错啊.

尽可能写长点, 有的句子可以用从句就用从句. 但, 每一段的第一句主题句要简洁明了.

anchoret

如果在机器上按时间写的，那一定是6分。

不过建议第一段还可长些。

doris_tt

谢谢。
真实给我莫大的信心，我昨天把这篇给一个英国native的朋友看，他的评语是：

redundant, 逻辑组织不严密

我都快哭了。

anchoret

30分钟内写的文章只需要表面逻辑严密。

tjycjt

还需要注意一下语法等小的错误，在模板前提下，这可是最大的障碍了噢