TWE 142 改改

qinxing

TWE142  

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

To enhance children’s development, some people choose a camera as a gift: others select a soccer ball; still others give an animal. Although every item has its value, different people choose different items based on their different interests. As far as I am concerned, I would give a computer for a gift. I will illustrate my views by following discussion.

First of all, children can gain knowledge through using computer. They can get a lot of information from internet, and also they can communicate with friends using computer. For instance, a website which name is the chase dream website has a lot of materials of TOEFL, and a lot of people who take TOEFL chat in here. I get a lot of knowledge form this website.

Secondly, children can get a lot of funs from computer. They can listen to the radio, play computer game, and watch movie. They can enjoy those entertainments so much from using computer. For example, my small brother likes the pop music, and so he downloaded a lot of music through computer.

Last but not least, computer can help children studying. Children can do their homework using computer, and then send email to teacher or print it. Children can search a lot of information about the class which they take.  

In conclusion, based on the reasons that I presented, I strongly believe that computer is the best gift for children. They can learn a lot of knowledge and also get lots of funs. Why do we buy computer for children?

shirley_zhu

以下是引用qinxing在2005-5-4 2:20:00的发言：

TWE142  

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

To enhance children’s development, some people choose a camera as a gift: others select a soccer ball; still others give an animal. Although every item has its value, different people choose different items based on their different interests. As far as I am concerned, I would give a computer for a gift. I will illustrate my views by following discussion.

First of all, children can gain knowledge through using computer. They can get a lot of information from internet, and also they can communicate with friends using computer. For instance, a website which name is the chase dream website has a lot of materials of TOEFL, and a lot of people who take TOEFL chat in here. I get a lot of knowledge form this website.

Secondly, children can get a lot of funs from computer. They can listen to the radio, play computer game, and watch movie. They can enjoy those entertainments so much from using computer.(连着重复使用是否可以考虑其他词组代替） For example, my small (little?)brother likes the pop music, and so he downloaded a lot of music through computer.

Last but not least, computer can help children studying. Children can do their homework using computer, and then send email to teacher or print it. Children can search a lot of information about the class which they take.  

In conclusion, based on the reasons that I presented, I strongly believe that computer is the best gift for children. They can learn a lot of knowledge and also get lots of funs. Why do we buy computer for children?(是否应该why don't we...)

另：第一个理由和第三个理由似乎重复，可以考虑换一个，比如说对将来找工作有帮助？

听了brace的建议，也来看看修改别人的文章，不到之处还请见谅

qinxing

谢谢修改，我会改正以上问题的。