大家帮看看能得多少分？在线等，3X。帮我提点意见哈:)

lolita0320

Societies are cut into two groups when it comes to the problem that whether the ability of cooperation has is more important than it was in the past. Some people argue that people should be cooperative that we have be a good team player and finish the work more efficient and effectively, while others maintain that other skills such as the ability of creativity is of much more importance than cooperation, because we are in an era that ideas become more critical that the job itself. As far as I am concerned, i will side with the former idea, and in the following discussion, I will reason and provide concrete evidences to support my viewpoint.

  The first plain truth, I am presenting here, is that more and more jobs are assigned in the form of team work. The ability to cooperate is so necessary for any of us that we can see it is of the most important characteristics of an employee. As is the known truth, we are somehow connected with other people in society, and whenever we ask people what a good coworker should be, most of them will say that the person should be cooperative. The strength of an individual is limited, but that of a collective is infinite. In order to finish our with less time but at high standard, we should cooperate with others, and it is an prerequisite for anyone who want to be successful in the future. According to me, people who only rely on themselves will not go as far as the cooperative could.

  In addition, being cooperative can help us to learn more friends. When we look at the successful people around us, a common characteristic of them is that they are in the centre of a huge PR network, and this is very different from the old days, when the success of a person determined on the idea or the skill of his own that no one else can master. and if we dig one step deeper, we will finally find out that the successful people in nowadays are almost have the spirit of being cooperative with their partners. Based on the experiences of these people, on no account can we ignore the importance of being cooperative, In modern society, nearly half of our citizens have received the higher education, and without the ability of cooperation, we can see that they are nearly of no differences. As a result, we can see that being cooperative in become increasingly vital in our society.

  Admittedly, other factors such as being creative and show some prospect of leadership are essential for a person to success in today's world, but being cooperative, at least it seems to me, is more important than the other abilities. And for many of us, being cooperative will not fail to be a wiser and safer choice.

lxzjojo

MM写得挺不错的，我要评分的话会打4~4.5分鸟~

一点小意见，通篇读下来，文笔比较流畅，词汇量挺好的，而且句式也不错，就是整篇文章的模板味比较浓，尤其是开头段，很有G考的文章味道。说句不太好听的，有些句子如“some ppl, while others”比较像在凑字数，跟主题关系不大，没有新意，这一套考G可以行得通，但在IBT考试中却并不很受用。

还有一些minor的搭配错误和用词错误，偶随便举两个：首段的“we have be a good team player ”和“more critical that the job itself”等，都是在实考中要尽量避免出现的。

lolita0320

谢谢沙发的建议！我后天就要上战场了，对作文心里一点底都没有。你给我提了很好的建议， 第一段确实是一个模板段，我一直都在犹豫考试的时候到底要不要这么写。经你指点我想我找到答案了。