Issue 2 求拍

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小弟第一次写GRE作文，求指教

2       To     understand      the   most         important         characteristics         of      a       society,    one  must         study        its         major        cities

The statement points out thesignificance of major cities in the study of the features of a society. Indeed,since the birth of the first city in human history more than five thousand years ago,the cities have significantly contributed to the formation of social, politicaland economic features of the countries where those cities are located. Inmodern times, the stock exchanges in the city can reflect the economiccondition of a nation. The political campaign slogan along the main streetsdowntown can demonstrate the degree of democracy of a nation. The crime rate inmajor cities can demonstrate the efficiency of the national government insecuring the safety and properties of citizens.

The argument aims to underline the research ofmajor cities as requisite for the understanding of the essences of a society.The statement is based on the assumption that cities contain the most crucialtraits of a society. With a closer analysis of the statement, one can claimthat major cities are the social, political and economic center of a nationwith the examples of major metropolitan areas like New York and Washington inthe United States. One can definitely demonstrate that New York and Washington contain the most important political and economic features of the United States,which are democracy and free market, respectively.

However, for the historians whoattempts to study the prehistoric societies before the formation of cities, itis impossible for them obtain information about the features of cities.Instead, they use the information of villages and primitive tribes to researchthe features of those prehistoric societies, which demonstrate that essentialfeatures of a society might be found in the villages in rural areas for currentsociology research.

Indeed, for some nations in thedeveloping world, the major characteristics of their societies lie in ruralarea instead of urban area. For example, China is a nation based onagriculture. The history of industrialization is no more than thirty years. Incities in China, one can discover the traces of industrialization and financialbusiness and have the illusion that China is a higly developed and modernized industrial nation.However, according to the census data, more than seventy percent of the population based their lives onagriculture. Some are even working at the self-sufficient state, one of themost primitive forms of production. If one neglects the life of ruralresidents, he or she can never understand the whole picture of the society andeconomy of China. Actually, the researchers can even ignore the features of thecities if he or she focus on the most important traits of the agriculturalsociety in China. In this case, the study of urban life and landscape is notmandatory in the study of a society.

  There are many methods of researching a society, depending on the focusof the researchers on the characteristics of the society. Even though the studyof major cities are a valuable approach, researchers can employ the study ofother parts of the society to achieve their research goals. Societies are permanentlychanging. Likewise, the ways of approaching social research problems are notconstant. It is essential for sociologists to adapt their methods ofapproaching social study problems according to the change of urban and ruralcommunities in a society. Generally speaking, there is no right or wronganswers in researching a society. Any methods that can generate an answer tothe research questions is ideal to apply.

zyang8

“Indeed,since the birth of the first city in human history more than five thousand years ago”
感觉改成一句完整的话比较好：since the first city was built in 5000 years ago.

With a closer analysis of the statement, one can claimthat major cities are the social, political and economic center of a nationwith the examples of major metropolitan areas like New York and Washington inthe United States
有两个with， 合成一个:with a closer analysis of major areas in US,one can claimthat major cities are the social, political and economic center of a nation

For example, China is a nation based onagriculture. The history of industrialization is no more than thirty years.
把history of industrialization 改成 industrialization of china。 这样更明确。

However, for the historians whoattempts to study the prehistoric societies before the formation of cities, itis impossible for them obtain information about the features of cities.Instead, they use the information of villages and primitive tribes to researchthe features of those prehistoric societies, which demonstrate that essentialfeatures of a society might be found in the villages in rural areas for currentsociology research.
这段逻辑比较草率。算是你的一个反驳题目的观点，但几乎没有分析。

总体感觉语言比较冗长，要简化。还有一些细节语法错误。最好能拿给老师看一下。