risedream作文习作帖，期盼拍砖，越多越好(^_^)

risedream

先暂时全是开头，过两天发全部作文。第一次练，请前辈们不要介意，多多指教，谢谢！
2014.1.18

1. Nowadays it’s easier to maintain health than the past.

Health, is the most important things in people’s life. Nothing can be done without having a good body. Work, study, entertainment.... Everything is out of the question. It has always been defined as the priority before anything. There’s a recent debate that goes hot in public today about whether we are more healthy nowadays. Although people from the past can care for them a lot, the technology now and the thorough research made by professional nuitrition lists can easily outweigh the poor knoledge from the past. When it comes to me, i would choose without hesitation that we can easily maintain health now.

2 getting advice from friends who are older than you is more valuable than getting advice from friends your same age.

Friends, is a kind existance that can influence us in knoledge and can pass on good virtues. To be with good friends can get really good thoughts and learn valuable things that we probably never would have seen of our own age. A recent pressing argue about whether people can learn more from older friends. A part of my friends holds to the idea that it’s better to get advice from friends of our same age due to the non-limited relationship between same-aged students. In my opinion, i would prefer to get advice from senior friends. I will explain my point of view in the following examples.

perfectends

Crystaljoy 发表于 2014-2-19 16:37
我当时看张红岩的这本书，对托福写作有了一个清晰的认识。
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-732774-1 ...

鸟妈也来啦~

risedream

2014.2.23
前面小鹤鹤版主给我改的一篇，也重新写了写。真的很谢谢老师！！
题目：大学生是否不用上课，只要考试就够了。

Since students started to not attend the school, a debate arouses in the education fields. Some would say that it is right because students will spare the time on traveling between home to school and do better studies. The professor’s thought can all be learned in the textbook and going to class is unnecessary. But I think otherwise. I will explain my point of view in the following aspects I personally believe.

First of all, textbooks do not cover up all the knowledges that will be tested. The recent textbooks have been arranged to only give the vague outline of one certain concept but not the details to explain the concept. Yet, it is just the details professors want to see in an answer of the questions. So not going to classes to hear about what the professor explains, may have caused the risk of failing in their exams.I once did not attent my science class because I went to help some other teacher on an experiment. And the next class the teacher asked us to finish a little test. Unfortunately, I did not hear the class and I could not find the details on the book, which means I can not prepare enough for the test. So when the results came out, I only get a C in that chapter. It was really a destined failure.

Moreover, the coverage of knowledge has grown deeper and wider because of the up-rising technology in modern world. The textbook no longer has the ability to show or demonstrate the exact views of modern society. On the other hand, the professor can catch up with the current changes and could direct us to understand them better with out any lag. My sister’s history class was once considered to be boring. Then some name change has been made upon several graves of the past and the phenomenons of past social world in which the textbook was not aware of, but due to her usual habit, she still did not concentrate on the class. So when the test asks about the changed in formation, she does not even know that it had changed, she still stick to her old memories and in the end, and undoubtedly earned a bad degree of B.

To gaze back, it is not that staying at home to study is not entirely negative. Such as we can get less interference when we are at home. No one would shout or chat around us, creating a perfect environment to study. But, such environment can also be found on campus. Such as the lawns or the library. Not only the problem is solved, but also we can have the passing knowledge professors hand out to us in class.

Finally, we can come to the conclusion that to attend classes has way more advantages than to stay at home. Not only because of all the aspects we have talked about, but also because one might get lazy and inattentive when they are at home. But at school, with all those people around us, one might gain a very positive mood of studying.

risedream

2014.2.23
原来神猴版主帮忙改的，遵照嘱咐再次改了一遍，谢谢老师！
题目：Should we require our young children (age 5-10) to learn music and art in addition to math, science, history, and language.

The education on young children of the age 5 to 10 has always been doubtful and a lot of debate has run over this question. Some say that it is extremely wrong to force extra studying pressures of art and music besides their daily study of prior classes such as math. But as a matter of a fact, it is not what they think, I will explain why in the following aspects of mine.

First of all, to learn music or art is not putting extra stress but in fact, just the opposite. To do so is to reduce the stress caused upon us by the major classes. We all know from our own childhood studies that after a day’s study of math, history, science classes, we could get very exhausted and frustrated, by then, some music will do the work of heal, or to draw some pictures might help too. I had a hard time once preparing my final exams, I was left behind on my studies and there’s a lot of work, so I always listen to some music when I am too tired and sleepy, it kept me energetic and awake. As a special formula my mother once told me, that it was 8 minus 1 is greater than 8, the “1” is the rest of art and music. It has a useful reflect of relaxing one’s mind.

What’s more, by learning such things can actually help them to develope a life long interest. Because children at this age is accepting a lot of information about the world, of what they can do, and they can determine a future dream of what they are going to do or be. Learning such things surely create more options and more wide views for them. My big brother, Paul, had some contact with a guitar player and his band when he was at the age of 8, he admired the colorful and rhythm songs they can make with those instruments that seem so mysterious to him then, so he made up his mind to be a musician and to establish his own band in the future. He started to get on hand about his dream, such as learning guitar and reading such books and watch such videos to guide him what to do. Turns out he was quiet successful and is a relatively famous musician in that area.

Of course, some children do not like to be forced to learn something aside from what they are already acquired. Or for some concerns, that they would probably object the idea or hate to learn music and art. That could all happen, but, however, most kids like to learn music and art. And there is no such worrying about they can not handle the knowledge. As we know, this is something that acquires potential and great learning abilities. Children at that age and absorb new knowledge at amazing speed. They do not have the limit like most adults do, because we lost the flexibility of studying. I once wanted to learn drawing pretty bad so I asked my mother to accompany me to learn in an art class. After a few weeks, I became better in drawing but my mother still could not get the slight idea of how to draw.

risedream

Crystaljoy 发表于 2014-2-19 16:37
我当时看张红岩的这本书，对托福写作有了一个清晰的认识。
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-732774-1 ...

哇!鸟儿姐姐!看到你太惊喜了!
的确以这种结构好写多了，眼前豁然开朗的感觉，很妙的思想呢！鸟儿姐姐，我按这个试着做，再体会。

Crystaljoy

risedream 发表于 2014-1-22 20:37
老师，我想问问您呢，写作文没有思路是该怎么办，去看什么呢？求教~

我当时看张红岩的这本书，对托福写作有了一个清晰的认识。
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-732774-1-1.html

一般我的论证思路就是what-explain-why-conclusion. 顺着这个思路写，是不是简单些了呢？

yen921112

risedream 发表于 2014-2-17 21:10
谢谢,加上了.一起加油学吧!

OK，哈哈哈~！看你的头像就是你很认真啊！

risedream

yen921112 发表于 2014-2-17 19:26
嘿嘿嘿，同谢同谢，加个好友哈！

谢谢,加上了.一起加油学吧!

yen921112

risedream 发表于 2014-2-17 00:21
我感觉这儿全是应该我谢谢的,实在没有可谢我的啊.也谢谢你来这儿. ...

嘿嘿嘿，同谢同谢，加个好友哈！

risedream

yen921112 发表于 2014-2-17 00:03
谢谢楼主啊！

我感觉这儿全是应该我谢谢的,实在没有可谢我的啊.也谢谢你来这儿.