[写作小分队] 8-24考试 第一次作业 8-6独立

wl441790417

Friends play a indispensible role in one’s life. Traditionally, there are several ways to make new friends. Different one have different preference to make new friends. For me, although traveling has some advantages of building up new relationships. there is no better ways than participating in community activities to make new friends.

Some people claim that they do not like doing exercise. Thus, they will choose traveling as their primary way to build-up new relationships. They think it is more interesting and amazing through traveling to make new friends. In such way, they can appriciate the differences between themselves and foreign friends. They can exchange different points about anything such as cultures, politics, folks and so on. The experience of my uncle is a good example. He have ever been to korea and made some new friends with locals. After he back to China, he still talk with his foreign friends through e-mail or MSN. He tells me that the korean friends give him various perspective of society. Finally, he asserts that making new friends through traveling is recommendable. But for me, as a student, due to the lack of time and money, making new friends by taking part in community activities appears to be a better choice.

First of all, participating in community activities enlarges my social network and offers me more opporturnities to meet new individuals. For example, I was born in a big city called Tianjin. When I was studying in university whom location is far away from my hometown. I joined an assosiation called Tianjin Club. The club included almost all Tianjin students who were studying in my university. We had some activities regularly. On Friday, we had dancing party. On Sunday, we went out together at afternoon and had a delicious meal. In general, we went to the KTV after the meal. In that club, I encountered a lot of students who became my best friends later.

Secondly, everyone is likely to make new friends who have similar hobbies. If one likes to play instrument and the other one enjoy to do excercising, they would be hardly to build up a solid relationship. Taking part in specific community activities rises the possibility of meeting ones who have similar even same hobbies with you. For instance, there are a big deal of clubs in the society such as photography club, literiature club, fashion salon and so on. If one enjoys reading books and sharing her or his points, joining in to a literature club will not be a disappointment.

In conclusion, participating community activities is a good way for students to make new friends because it offers their more opportunities to make friends easily by broaden their social network then meet more people, and to encounter more ones who have similar hobbies.

lijinglol

wl441790417 发表于 2013-8-7 11:37
咱两是不是互改呀 请问你的作文地址在哪呀   主要这个题目不太好写。。。 我是在编不出话来了。。 ...

在作文楼里有链接

wl441790417

wl441790417 发表于 2013-8-7 11:37
咱两是不是互改呀 请问你的作文地址在哪呀   主要这个题目不太好写。。。 我是在编不出话来了。。 ...

最后一个to我有不同的意见 我觉得如果用and连接两个平行短语的话to最好不要省略

wl441790417

lijinglol 发表于 2013-8-7 08:25
Friends play a（n） indispensible role in one’s life. Traditionally, there are several ways to make ...

咱两是不是互改呀 请问你的作文地址在哪呀   主要这个题目不太好写。。。 我是在编不出话来了。。

lijinglol

Friends play a（n） indispensible role in one’s life. Traditionally, there are several ways to make new friends. Different one(people) have different preference to make(in making) new friends. For me, although traveling has some advantages of (in) building up new relationships. there is no better ways than participating in community activities to make new friends.


Some people claim that they do not like doing exercise. Thus, they will choose traveling as their primary way to build-up new relationships. They think it is more interesting and amazing through traveling to make new friends(to make new friends through traveling). In such way, they can appriciate the differences between themselves and foreign friends. They can exchange different points about anything such as cultures, politics, folks and so on. The experience of my uncle is a good example. He have ever been to korea and made some new friends with locals. After he（came）back to China, he still talk(still keeps in touch ) with his foreign friends through e-mail or MSN. He tells me that the korean friends give(show to) him various perspective(s) of society. Finally, he asserts that making new friends through traveling is recommendable. But for me, as a student, due to the lack of time and money, making new friends by taking part in community activities appears to be a better choice.
(我觉得三选一的话题不用说其他两点的不好，也更不用那差不多一整段来说其中一点的好><)

First of all, participating in community activities enlarges my social network and offers me more opporturnities to meet new individuals. For example, I was born in a big city called Tianjin. When I was studying in university whom(whose) location is far away from my hometown.(应使用逗号) I joined an assosiation called Tianjin Club. The club included almost all Tianjin students who were studying in my university. We had some activities regularly. On Friday, we had dancing party. On Sunday, we went out together at afternoon and had a delicious meal. （这里建议添加更多细节）In general（in general 是表示总结全段/全文的意思……你可以用after that）, we went to the KTV after the meal. In that club, I encountered a lot of students who became my best friends later.


Secondly, everyone is likely to make new friends who have similar hobbies. If one likes to play instrument and the other one enjoy to do excercising(doing exercises) , they would be(could) hardly to build up a solid relationship. Taking part in specific community activities rises the possibility of meeting ones(people) who have similar even same hobbies with you. For instance, there are a big deal of clubs in the society such as photography club, literiature club, fashion salon and so on. If one enjoys reading books and sharing her or his points(ideas), joining in to a literature club will not be a disappointment.

In conclusion, participating community activities is a good way for students to make new friends because it offers their(them) more opportunities to make friends easily by broaden their social network then(建议删，不删也要与and连用) meet more people, and to（删） encounter more ones who have similar hobbies.
多多注意细节吧……建议楼主在掌握用法的同时试着多使用高级词汇~例子很丰富><~
蓝色是建议修改，紫色是强烈建议修改~